"Hey…. Kabuto."

Kabuto looked up. He saw his master looking in his mirror with quite an anxious face. "Yes, Orochimaru-Sama?"

"Should I cut my hair?"

Orochimaru looked at Kabuto, who walked up to him, let his fingers caress his black hair a bit.

"Why do you ask?" Kabuto said.

"I… people… people think I want to look feminine…" Orochimaru blushed. His skin was pale white, so his cheeks turned a bit pink instead of red.

"Err…" Kabuto felt insulted. "….You always force me to cross dress and use me as a woman in your 'evil' plans."

"But with you it's different! You look girly, I don't!"

Kabuto felt extremely insulted and took a few steps back. "Orochimaru-Sama!"

"I've always had long hair… I feel like…. Changing my looks."

"But…" Kabuto's eyes narrowed. "I can't see you with short hair, Orochimaru-Sama."

"You had short hair, but when you joined me you decided to grow it longer." Said Orochimaru with a grumpy voice.

"It's not necessary to change your looks, Orochimaru-Sama, people will recognize you by your… snake-ish face…and..."

"I'LL GET CONTACTS AND MAKE UP!"

"..When I first met you I thought you actually had snake make up on…"

Orochimaru gave his servant a deadly stare. His eyes turned red.

"Woa woa woa-!" Kabuto cowardly walked back a few steps. "Jeez, I was eight years old back then!"

"Fine." Orochimaru looked back in his mirror. "I won't cut my hair then."

"Fine."

"FINE."

Orochimaru looked back in his mirror. "Hey…. Kabuto…"

"Now what?" Said Kabuto with a sigh.

"….Does these earrings make me look feminine?"

The servant rolled his eyes. "No. They don't. They fit you very well. More guys than you wear earrings. Even that fat guy Choji, or whatever his name is, and that friend of him. Shouldn't you focus on your plans on taking over Konoha instead, Orochimaru-Sama?"

"Yeah…. You're right." He put his mirror on the table, stood up, looked at his servant and said: "Yush! Let's go and take over Konoha Kabuto!"

"Yes… Orochimari-Sama."


Orochimaru and Kabuto were spying on the leaf village from a branch far up in the tree. "What's your plan?" Kabuto asked.

"The usual."

"Sending Manda to destroy the whole Village?"

"Sort of. And…." Suddenly, Orochimaru had a pink dress, a make up set and a ribbon in his hands. "We'll trick them with a damsel in distress!"

"OROCHIMARU-SAMA!" Kabuto screamed. "WHY ME?!"

"Because you have a girly face. Come on now, get changed!"

"Yes, Orochimaru…-Sama."

Kabuto took the dress Orochimaru gave him, jumped to a private place and changed. He came back with his clothes and hid them in the top of the tree.

"I will apply make up on you, dear Kabuto."

The very grumpy and embarrassed Kabuto closed his eyes and let his master apply eye make up, foundation and other things Kabuto didn't know the name of on his face. Orochimaru was actually the master of applying make up. Kabuto didn't dare asking why or how he got this skill. But he actually liked it when he looked in Orochimaru's mirror.

"I….. I look like a girl…" He said when his casual hairband got replaced with the pink ribbon with white dots.

"That's the whole point."

Kabuto sighted. "What do you want me to do?" He didn't sound very enthusiastic.

"Like I told you, you'll be the damsel in distress and I'll do all the work."

"BUT-" Kabuto was angry, but Orochimaru told him to shut up. "You'll walk to that restaurant Naruto loves so much. You're an ordinary Konoha citizen, be the damsel in distress, let all the guys fall in love with you, write down all the info in your ninja info cards, -do you have them?"

"Yes-"

"Good. Then the one and only, -heheh- me, come and destroy the whole village while you keep the boys busy."

"How does that make me the damsel in distress?" Kabuto was confused.

"I will kidnap you."

"…this is a stupid plan..."

"Now, go!"

"Yes, Orochimaru-Sama."

"Now say that with a girl's voice!"

Kabuto cleared his throat. "Yes, Orochimaru-Sama." He really did sound like a girl.

With embarrassment, Kabuto walked in the Leaf Village, his disguise was really good, he thought. Because no one was able to recognize him, and he had a really bad reputation in this village. Everybody knew he was Orochimaru's personal handyman, doctor, partner, lover, you name it.

He had no troubles finding the restaurant Naruto-Kun liked. And with no surprise, Naruto-Kun himself was there, eating ramen with Sai by his side.

"Oh my god, this is so awkward." Kabuto said to himself while walking up to them, took a seat next to Sai and ordered a bowl of Ramen.

"Oooh~ who's that cute girl?" Naruto said quiet to Sai.

"I don't know." He answered quiet and with out any emotion.

"It works!" Kabuto thought. While waiting for his ramen, he looked at the two boys and gave them a cute smile.

"Ooooh! She's really cute! Almost as cute as Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted.

"Thank… you." Kabuto blushed. He tried to play the cute, quiet and innocent girl.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto said loud and proud! "What's your name?"

Kabuto felt how a cold wave flooded inside of him. His master never said what name Kabuto should call himself as!

"Uhh…. I'm…" Kabuto tried not to sweat. "Ka.." He swallowed. "Ka..rin."

"Karin!"

"Yeah…" Kabuto blushed and looked away. "Oh my god it worked!" His inner voice screamed.

"Want to go somewhere with me and Sai?"

"I'd like to. But.. what about the ramen?"

"Eat it first! Ramen is the most important thing in the world!"

"What an…. Obnoxious kid…" Kabuto thought.


"Orochimaru-Sama…. This is hell… YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!" Kabuto's inner voice screamed while Kabuto was having his arms around Naruto-Kun's left arm.

"Hey… Naruto-Kun…" Kabuto said.

"Yeah?"

"Who's that girl you mentioned before?"

"Who-? Oh- Sakura-Chan! She's really cute."

"Do you like her?"

"Yes, I do. But she doesn't like me."

"Do you like me?"

"Hm? Yes, I do."

"Do you like me as much as you like Sakura-Chan?"

"I don't know, Karin-Chan."

As they continued to walk, Kabuto just longed for Orochimaru-Sama to arrive. He couldn't stand this.

"OOOHH WHAT A PRETTY GIIIIRRRLLL!" A voice screamed.

Kabuto looked up. A ugly boy in tights ran towards them. "Hey, Naruto-Kun, who's this?" He asked.

"This is Karin-Chan!"

"Hello~" Kabuto smiled.

"She's really pretty! Hello, I'm Rock Lee!" He shook hands with Kabuto. Kabuto tried his best to look as innocent and cute as possible. Oh, how embarrassing this was….

"Umm…" Kabuto said. "Can't we go to somewhere fun?"

"Sure!"

Then, suddenly, Orochimaru appeared in front of them.

"Oro-… Orochimaru!" Naruto shouted. "What are you doing here?!"

"Wow… Naruto-Kun is stupid." Kabuto thought.

"I'm here to take over Konoha!" He grabbed Kabuto's arm and tried to drag him to himself. "And to kidnap this pretty girl of yours! Who is she, your girlfriend?"

"No! I barely know her!" Naruto said.

"CAN YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!" Rock Lee screamed.

Kabuto stared at them both. Then he went back to his character. "Help meee! He's gonna kill me!" Kabuto tried to get free from Orochimaru-Sama's hard grip, but he acted weak, so he failed. "Heelp!"

"Mohahahaha!"Orochimaru laughed. "Surrender, or I will kill this girl!"

"We will never surrender nor we will not let you kill this girl!"

"So be it.." Orochimaru summoned Manda, who immediately destroyed a bit of the village.

"Shit!" Naruto said. "What do we do?!"

"I don't know!" Lee said. "You're the one with the ninjustu."

"Just because I can master ninjustu doesn't mean I'm smart!"

Orochimaru jumped up on the snake with Kabuto.

"Heeeelp meeee!" Kabuto screamed. "Wow Orochimaru…. These guys fell for it…" Kabuto continued with a lower voice.

"I know." Orochimaru smirked. "This time we WILL TAKE OVER KONOHA!"

Naruto and Lee jumped on the snake and ran up to them and tried to attack him from behind, but that didn't work. Orochimaru attacked them before they even tried to attack him. "Fools."

"Fuck you Orochimaru, give us back Karin!" Naruto said.

"Never!" He held Kabuto up in the air, almost like Orochimaru could drop him in any moment and let him fall down.

"OROCHIMARU-SAMA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Kabuto's voice slipped.

Naruto and Rock Lee stared at Kabuto as he stared at them with a red face and big eyes.

"You sound like a guy… KABUTO!" They said.

"For fuck sakes Kabuto!" Orochimaru yelled.

"I'm so sorry Orochimaru-Sama! Please don't drop me!" Kabuto started to sweat and his makeup got ruined.

"I almost got a crush on you!" Naruto tried to kick Orochimaru, but Kabuto got free from his master's grip and kicked him in the gut.

"Orochimaru-Sama, let's retreat!"

"Good idea. This plan failed."


"EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!" Orochimaru screamed.

"B-b-b-b-but it was your plan!"

"BUT YOU SCREWED IT UP!"

"I'M SO SORRY OROCHIMARU-SAMA!"

"WE NEED TO TAKE OVER KONOHA BEFORE THE MAIN STORY IS OVER!"

"YES, OROCHIMARU-SAMA!"

"BUT FIRST…. Buy me more hair dye; I don't want grey hair like you do Kabuto. I want to look good you know."

"OROCHIMARU-SAMAAAAAAAAAAA!"