WARNING! THIS CONTAINS RAPE, LANGAUGE, BLOOD, AND TORTURE!

Now if you were too lasy to read the description it's Harry's years in Azkaban.

It won't be pleasant. If you are easily disturd by it I would suggest you,

A) Don't read it at all.

Or,

B) Skip the scene. (It will tell before and after the rape scene has ended, but there will be talking about it later!) It's small though.

As always Reviews will be welcome, but if you just review to say how horrible it is for me to post this, or I'm evil for typing this, etc, etc, please don't. You don't have to read it if you don't want too.

I did warn you beforehand.

If you want to review how sorry you feel for him and so on, I won't mind. I feel sorry for Harry too.

And so, on with the story...

~Nightcat444~

Road to Insanity

*Year one*

Little Harry had woken up, wondering why his normally soft bed was cold and hard. He blinked his eyes blearily; eventually they adjusted to the darkness that surrounded him.

He shivered from the lingering coldness.

Suddenly, he heard someone walking toward his cell.

"Mommy?" Harry called out. He knew it! He knew his parent's would come and rescue him, and then they will love him just like they love Justin, just like his books.

"Your parents aren't here boy," a man spat. "No one is coming for you." Then he took out his wand and hissed a spell, which flung Harry against the wall, scrapes now adorned his small body. "No one is coming to take you away, they hate you. They want nothing to do with a freak like you."

Harry mumbled something.

"What was that you brat?" The man hissed.

"You're wrong, they will come. They love me."

"Oh really?" He sneered. "Then why did they give you up with out a fight?"

Harry said nothing, and turned away from him.

The man grew angry. "Don't turn away from me! Crucio!"

The next thing Harry knew was pain. Pain that he had never felt before, but he still kept silent. This made the man angrier, so he sent more curses at him, wanting to here the six-year-old child scream.

Eventually he got fed up with the child and finally left him. Harry laid on the stone floor with a broken arm and most likely broken ribs. He started to cough up blood. He had never hurt so much in his life. Who would hurt him? Was he bad like the man said? Harry fell out of consciousness.

The next thing he knew, he was reliving it. He could see him recasting the curses. Harry gasped as he felt pain in his chest. He could here that rattling breath of the monsters that guarded the hell he now lived in. Doubts started to flood his mind. What if he was right? What if they didn't want him? Harry curled up into a ball.

Why? It kept repeating in his head. Why him? Why did Justin matter so much? Why did no one pay as much attention to him as they did Justin? Harry began to cry. Why did he get punished for existing? After a time, his worst memories went away, along with the horrible noise. It left Harry feeling empty inside.

"Hey kid, you OK?" the man across from his cell asked. Harry couldn't place his name at the moment.

"Why?" Harry croaked.

The man sighed. "Because they fear you."

"Not bad, not bad." Harry repeated over again and again.

"No, you're not bad. But they fear you because they're idiots."

"Not bad?" Harry asked feebly.

"No," Rabastan said to the broken child. "Not bad." Truly, he didn't know why he was so drawn to the child in the opposite cell. He normally hated children, but, this child was different. He was alone.

No.

Not alone, not anymore. Rabastan promised to himself he would watch out for the small child. How could the child survive otherwise? He watched Harry's shivering form.

Harry had curled around himself as much as he could, to try and bring the warm back. Suddenly he felt something soft hit him. He looked up and saw a tattered blanket. He looked across his cell. "You looked cold." Rabastan said, and then went to sit in a corner of his cell.

Harry took the old blanket and covered his body as best as he could. "Thank you." He received a grunt in return. Soon he fell asleep.

The first year of his life was mostly the same, someone came by every so often to try to get him to scream, and it became a game to them. The prize was up to fifty galleons to the first person to do so. But Harry had learned some of the spells cast, how could he not? He relived it almost every hour.

*Year Two*

His second year in hell had started better; they gave up on their game and tortured someone else. Though Harry had yet to know it, his second year would be his worst in Azkaban.

Harry was sleeping uneasily when something woke him up. For a minute he thought the guards had started up the bet again. He looked warily at the cell door, but to his surprise, he saw nothing. If it wasn't a guard, what had woken him? He looked around his cell, and shivered. Something wasn't right. Harry backed into a corner and hit something… soft?

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A little human who wants to play?" Harry tried to get away from the nightmarish form of the monster that was now in his cell, but he held on tight to Harry. "Where do you think your going little human?"

Harry looked at the monster in horror. He had four clawed fingers on each hand, and crimson eyes. He looked like he was a strait jacket, but the sleeves were torn and bloodied. The monster also had sharp teeth that were stained red. Harry struggled even more.

"You want to leave so soon? But the fun has yet to begin, little human." The monster then licked the side of Harry's face. "You don't want to leave before the fun begins do you?" Harry cried out for help. "Tsk, tsk, little human. It's useless. They can't here you, not even the tall human from across your cell." He then ripped Harry's tattered pants off.

Harry didn't want to think of what this monster was going to do to him. He struggled even more when he felt his pants being ripped off.

*Rape Scene*

Suddenly, Harry felt a fiery pain like he had never felt before. A crucio couldn't compare to it, he would have gladly switched. In result, Harry -for the first time in his life- had screamed. He screamed to the heavens, hoping, praying, someone would save him.

No one heard his desperate pleas for help. Harry wanted it to stop. He wanted to die, anything to end his agony.

Again and again, Harry was met with pain upon pain as the creature tore into his small body over and over again. Uncaring that the bleeding boy was screaming his heart out. Uncaring that blood covered his body. Towards the end, Harry's screams had stopped, his throat too raw to continue. With one final trust, the creature pulled himself out of Harry, leaving the broken boy on the floor.

*End of Rape Scene*

"Such a good little fuck, even if you are a little human." He proceeded to lick the blood off of Harry. Sometimes biting him for more precious life. "Such a sweet taste you have. I may take you with me. I could fuck and lick you as much as I wanted then, my little slave. I like the sound of that, don't you... my little slave?"

Harry's eyes were white with fear. He had tried to move, but his body was too badly damaged. He wanted that monster to stop licking him, but his throat was too sore. He couldn't even cry anymore, he had no tears left to shed.

A hissing voice echoed off the walls. "Get. Away. From. My. Master."

The monster pulled Harry's bloodied body to itself. "He's mine, shadow leader. Mine and mine alone. Isn't that right, my little slave?" He sickeningly cooed.

The black mass attacked the monster, with long gleaming claws. The monster threw Harry in a corner, away from the battle. He didn't want his new slave to die so soon.

The creature attacked back with equal force, biting into the shadow leader's back, the black form was clawing and scarring his face. Suddenly he had enough. "I'll be back, my little slave. You will be mine." He disappeared into the shadows.

The shadow leader move closer to the child. "Master?"

Harry mouthed 'no' over and over again, unable to speak. He was in a state of shock. The shadowed mass moved closer. "You're safe now master, the nightmare won't harm you anymore. I'll make sure of it," it said. "My name is Rashika, master."

'I'm Harry,' he mouthed, he was starting to come out of the shock. 'Why do you call me master?'

Rashika proceeded to tell Harry everything she knew about Shade-Kind.

'I need help, I'm bleeding.' Rashika nodded, the shadows wrapped around her as she turned into a black mist. She came back with several phials of different liquids. Harry quickly swallowed them and felt them take effect. "T-thank you." His voice was still raspy.

"Of course master." She said.

"How can you understand English?" Harry asked.

Rashika chuckled. "You're speaking in shadows now master, but I have long since forgotten how to speak human."

"You could speak human?" Harry asked, his body feeling a bit better.

"Yes, we all have once, but most forget the human language. It is not needed from where we're from." She answered. "Now sleep, master, to renew your strength. You better enjoy it, for it will most likely be your last."

Harry -for the first time he arrived there- had smiled. Someone, besides Rabastan, had cared.

*Time Skip*

"So I can leave? Forever and never come back?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes, but you may not want them to figure out you can leave. But I can create an image of you, for a short time. We don't want them finding out you left, or you may never truly be free."

Harry closed his eyes and curled into a ball. "Can Rabastan come?"

She shook her head. "I can only do it once."

"Where will we go?" He asked.

"Wherever you want," she stated.

"I want to go home," he answered.

"I can take you, but you won't be seen, okay?"

Harry nodded, then Rashika shadow faded him out of the room, leaving an image of sleeping Harry behind.

They had appeared in the house, surrounded in shadows. What Harry saw, broke his heart. They were happy. Harry's eyes turned blue, as tears started to fall. "They don't even miss me," Harry whispered to his new friend. "I don't want to be here anymore. Take me away. Anywhere, but here."

Rashika obeyed and shadow faded somewhere else. Harry quietly sobbed in the shadow he resided in. "W-where are w-we?"

"In Knockturn Alley. You need to open your eyes," She responded.

"Open my eyes? What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Even though there have been ones who hurt you dearly, you still see in black and white. Good and evil. They do not exist." Rashika answered. "Only shades of gray."

Harry looked out of the shadows, he saw people cloaked in robes go by. He watched as others tortured others for information, items, or sometimes just the fun of it. "They look evil to me." He said quietly.

"They do, but do you see that man there?" She referred to the man casting the unforgivable curse Harry knew so well. He nodded. "He is a teacher from Hogwarts."

"Who is he?" Harry inquired.

"The teacher of Defence against the Dark Arts, Ketus Ryer. Half blood. He is said to be one of Dumbledore's strongest supporters." She siad.

"Isn't Dumbledore for the light?"

"Yes, and Dumbledore knows too, he encourages it. The less 'dark' the better." She spat.

"Who is he torturing?"

"We can show you." The shades spoke. They appeared at a cozy, but small house, inside was a woman and her three-year-old daughter.

"She is waiting for her husband to come home with the potion ingredient he went out to get. It can only be found in Knockturn Alley." A shade said. "As we speak he is being killed."

"Save him!" Harry pleaded.

The shades refused. "We can not interfere with human affairs, the deed has already been done."

"Why didn't you do anything!?" He asked Rashika.

"People kill other people. That is how the world works, it's kill or be killed."

Harry looked at the happy mother and her daughter. Soon, they wouldn't be so happy. Something in Harry snapped, as he realized that the man had torn apart a family, a family that could have easily been his own. Suddenly, Harry shadow faded, though he had no idea how he had done this, he didn't care. He wanted Ketus' blood on his hands for destroying a family that he dearly wished for.

"You." He spat. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" He confronted the man known as Ketus Ryer, in his home.

"What are you speaking of?" Ryer asked, his hand going to his wand. Harry's magic ripped the stick away from him; It had landed in Harry's hand.

"You killed that man today, do you have any idea what you've done!?" Harry screamed.

"I ridded the world of his filth." The man said bravely, he held no fear of the child.

"He had a wife and a daughter. You destroyed their happiness!" Harry's eyes turned red in anger. "You don't deserve to live." Harry spoke a spell he had learned from the guards at Azkaban. The man's legs broke, the bone came through the skin; The man screamed in agony. "Askiot." Rabastan had told him about that one, it let the caster tear off the flesh of the victim, as slow and painful as they wanted it, in any direction. He slowly tore away the flesh on the man's arm. Blood now soaked the floor. The next curse Harry was about to use was used as a threat against him, though he had no idea what it would do. "Blazusrio,"

Harry watched in shock as the man burst into flames, Harry covered his nose at the sickening smell of burning flesh. After a few minutes, the man stopped screaming. The fired died out, leaving only ashes behind.

"Master?" Rashika asked.

"I killed him." Harry said with regret in his voice "I do belong in Azkaban." He fell to his knees.

"We have to leave now, Dumbledore is on his way," Rashika warned. Harry's white eyes landed on her. He nodded and let her shadow fade them from the room.

*Year Three*

Since Harry had first killed, he had felt his childness slip away, slowly at first, but now it was almost completely gone. When he found out that Rabastan was a Death Eater, he wanted to know every spell he knew. Though when Rabastan asked if he intended to be a Death Eater too, Harry completely refused, saying he wasn't going to be someone else's lapdog.

He left it at that, though he didn't say it out loud, he himself started to think more about who the child was in-front of him, what he would become, he was already as powerful as himself, and he was only ten! Of course, he had to be, to survive hell.

Though Rabastan had to admit, it had been more bearable since the dementors stopped coming around, now they were only checked on by guards once a week.

"May I leave now?" Harry asked. He dismissed him. Harry wondered about his new castle, Sombra Emergenta.

Rashika had said, that this castle belonged to someone she knew, that they had given it to her before they died. The castle contained over a hundred rooms. Harry had to usually Shadow fade to a certain room because he would get lost most of the time. His favorite place was a almost bare room he found. Inside was a portrait. The portrait was of a woman, she had long black hair and brown eyes. She had told Harry her name was Akara

"Hello Lady Akara," Harry greeted.

"Good day to you, young Harry. How does this morning treat you?" Akara asked.

"Good, I've been training with Rabastan. He taught me the Killikis spell," Harry responded.

"Ah, I have used such a spell, it slowly kills the victim, they will always die."

"If they don't find it in early stages of course." Harry added.

"Of course. Are you ready?" She asked.

"Yes," He said.

"On the count of three, one... two... three!" The room changed, instead of the portrait, now stood the woman herself, the room had changed to look like a battlefield. Her eyes turned white, as skeletons rose from the ground. "Command your army Harry, be the leader you were born to be." And so, Harry began...

End of Part One