Alec sighed staring down at his hands thinking, 'why couldn't have I been faster? How could I have let this happen?' a lone tear rolled down his face before he wiped it away roughly.
He was sitting in Max's old bedroom looking around at the books and clothes no one had the heart to put away. He could almost here his little brother laugh and see the ghost of his bright smile.
They had all gone about grieving in different ways Jace was quieter more withdrawn only expressing himself when they trained adding several more bruises to Alec's vast collection.
Isabelle pretended that everything was normal during the day but at night Alec could hear his sister's sobs.
It tore the eldest lightwood apart watching his younger siblings fall apart because of his failure.
His parents on the other hand, Alec wasn't sure that his parents noticed their other kids much unless they were confronted with death itself. They acted like Max hadn't existed and Alec wasn't blaming himself for something he couldn't have controlled.
And finally the eldest lightwood child; Alec could go most of the day repressing the thought of Max's frail body broken in the dark kitchen, but later when he was alone with nobody around he'd break.
The boy's blue eyes would fill with tears as he thought of Max's last minutes and how terrified the boy must have been. He died a horrible death even among shadowhunters, and Alec couldn't help but wonder if he'd felt the pain, and suffered from the wound or if he just slipped away into the arms of the angel.
Either way Alec felt responsible for his brother's inability to live his life. How the child couldn't have another birthday, hold his niece or nephew, or even have a child of his own.
And yet Alec knew, in some part of his mind, that it wasn't his fault, and the only person to blame was Sebastian's, or Jonathan's really. But all Alec could think of was his promise to the boy of how he would protect him, and when the time came when max needed it Alec had failed him.
More tears flowed down the teens face as a silent sob wracked his muscled frame. He buried his face into his arms fighting back the tears.
Though it was like stopping the sun from rising and the black haired shadow hunter collapsed into tears for once letting his guard down and his emotions run free.
The sound of the door opening was lost on the boy and so were the soft footsteps so he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw a blurred Isabelle looking down at him sadly.
She said nothing at first just sat next to him and hugged him tightly then she sighed and looked up at him, "It isn't your fault." She said softly.
Alec looked down at her and pulled her closer. "It wasn't yours either."
I do not own The Mortal Instruments or it's characters Cassandra Clare does.
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