She'd known ever since she was a little girl that she would never, ever be good enough for her mother.
"Alicia! Why can't you focus on your studies, and stop dreaming like a little ninny?" her mom would shout at her, a menacing look on her face––a shadow of anger that was a few shades too close to disappointment for Alicia's tastes. Of course, she knew she was a failure, in her mother's eyes. Why, in comparison to Ray, she was nothing but a loser, a dunce, a flop. Ray was so intelligent and so perfect, and her mother knew it, too. Ever since Ray came along, Natalie had all but given up entirely on the future of her firstborn daughter.
And now that Dorothy was in the equation as a nurse in training, Alicia was replaced. She could remember playing at games with Alicia when the two were younger––Dorothy was always so shy, so painfully shy, and Alicia had tried desperately to break her out of her shell, to little avail. She liked Dorothy, she really did, even though she was a bit weird, admittedly––but hey, Alicia was weird too, so it evened out. But all of that changed when Dorothy moved in and stole away Alicia's mother. Alicia didn't blame Dorothy––could never blame her, for anything––but that didn't dull the pain, at any rate.
But what was there to be done about it? Nothing. So, Alicia initiated full-out rebellion. She threw out all her conservative clothing and pursued her passion for fortune-telling. A passion she'd cultivated many years ago, as a giggling little girl still in pigtails, reading over fantasy books in Dorothy's library. She'd wanted to be magical, wanted to wield the portents of the future, wanted to have something, anything, that would make her special, to someone, anyone, if not her mother. 'Fern' seemed to think Alicia was trying a little too hard, but she'd ignored her best friend's little toy's advisement and started a small business down at the docks for herself, telling the fortunes and predicting the weather for any and all who would pay her.
"H-hi, Alicia..." Dorothy called out, stumbling over to talk to her friend.
"Hey, girl," Alicia replied, smiling brightly, her blue-and-green eyes alighting with pleasure. "What're you doing all the way down here?"
"Oh, I j-just came to s-say hello," she stammered, flushing. "F-Fern wanted to get her fortune told, y-you see..."
Alicia's smile deepened. "Of course she does," she nodded, reaching out her manicured fingernails and gently stroking the tufts of fuzz on little Fern's head. "What will it be this time, Fern?"
"F-Fern would like, well... I'll let her tell you h-herself..." Dorothy raised her head a little bit and lifted Fern up higher in her arms, indicating that the doll was now speaking. "I'd like to know my love fortune, please," she stated, clearly.
"Really, now? Has someone caught your eye, Fern?" Alicia let out a little giggle. "Let's see... well, it seems like someone definitely likes you, D-Fern," she said, as smoothly as she could manage. "I wonder who it could be..."
Dorothy smiled a little. "O-okay, my turn..."
Alicia's smile darkened a little. "Your love fortune, Dorothy?"
"Y-yes, please..."
"Hmm... I can't get a good reading right now," she stated, without feeling. "Come back tomorrow and we'll see if it's any better." It was the same thing she said every time. Lame, she knew. But she just... couldn't.
"Oh... well, o-okay. Thanks, Alicia." Dorothy tried to mask her disappointment as she walked away. Then she stopped, and turned around, and asked, "W-would you like to come over for d-dinner?"
"Always," Alicia replied. This time, the smile that touched her soft, pink lips was a sad one.
Dorothy smiled shyly. "B-Barrett will be there too."
"Will he? Oh. Good," she said, lamely. "Good."
Alicia hardly even noticed when Dorothy had left. Defeatedly, she collapsed on the bench behind her and placed her hat next to her. She wondered if, maybe, she should start wearing a bandana instead. Maybe it'd do her some good. But... ha, who was she kidding? She let out a heavy sigh and stared off at the rolling waves in the distance, only one thing on her mind: Dorothy, her best friend, her lovely, perfect, most special friend in the whole, wide world. And yes, she'd seen her future, seen all about it. And the worst part was? Dorothy was going to be so happy without her.
It just seemed that Alicia wasn't meant to be good enough for anyone she truly loved.
