Chapter 1: Waiting

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed, plagued by the usual nightmares of Sunnydale's destruction. In her dream, the world was crumbling around her, slayers dying, people screaming, but all she could see was Spike. He was engulfed in a cold flame, laughing maniacally as the fire consumed him. Replaying over in her head was her simple statement "I love you" and his reply "No you don't, but thanks for saying it". In her heart, Buffy believed that Spike knew how she felt, regardless of her words and actions. Unfortunately, those three little words fell short a bit late. She awoke in a cold sweat, her heart pounding, with tears streaming down her face.

Now fully awake, Buffy climbed out of bed and stumbled to her bathroom to wash her face. She ran the cool water in the sink, and it felt wonderful on her hot skin, washing away the residue of her bad dreams. She sat down on the floor beside the big garden tub and cried, as she did every morning, washed her face a second time, and went downstairs to make herself a cup of hot cocoa.

As Buffy made her way towards the kitchen, she thought she heard hushed voices and giggling. She smiled, momentarily forgetting that Dawn now lived with their father across town in a big, comfy townhouse so she could attend school in a nicer district. When she pushed open the old fashioned swinging door, it wasn't Dawn she found in the kitchen. Instead, she found Xander and Willow locked in a very passionate kiss, leaned against the big island in the middle of the room. Rather than embarrass them, she simply turned, completely shocked, and went into Giles' office to think.

The prophecy of the vampire with a soul had been very much at the front of her mind in the four months since Sunnydale was swallowed up into a hole in the Earth, and without really thinking, she picked up the phone and dialed. A very familiar voice answered the phone "Wolfram and Hart, Angel's office." Cordelia voice was such a comfort. One of the few people from her old life that still made real sense to her. "Hi Cordelia. It's Buffy. Is Angel available to talk?" Buffy asked, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. "Hi Buffy. He's free. Is everything alright? It's like, two in the morning." Cordelia said with just a hint of concern. "Fine. Couldn't be better." Buffy replied, wishing that Cordelia wasn't being so nice for once so she would just put Angel on the phone. "Ok. Let me get him for you." Cordelia said before putting her on hold.

After just a moment that felt like forever, Angel's deep, soothing voice answered "Buffy. What a nice surprise. How are you?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "I've been thinking about the prophecy, Angel. I know that you researched it thoroughly when you thought it was about you, so I need to know what you know. I have to know." Buffy said, feeling the desperation rising. "Look, I don't know much myself, just that there is a ritual to bring back the Vampire with a soul who sacrifices himself for the sake of the world. As far as I could decipher, that Vampire gets to come back as a human. Fred's been researching it heavily, and she thinks she may have found the ritual, but I don't know. Are you alright? You sound terrible." Angel said, speaking quickly as he always did when he was worried. "I miss him, Angel. It's killing me inside. I can't eat, when I sleep I have nightmares. All I ever do anymore is cry and hide in my room."

Angel felt for her. He had once felt that way about her. It kicked his ass that it was Spike she was in love with, but he wanted her to be happy, even though it would have to be with someone besides him. "I tell you what, I will have Fred get everything she has on the prophecy and the ritual together so that you and Willow and Giles can look at it. I think Giles could figure it all out in no time. Give me a couple of days?" Angel asked, wishing he could be there to comfort her, to hold her, to dry her tears. "Thank you Angel. This means everything to me." Buffy said softly, also wishing that she could be in Angel's arms. He always gave the best hugs. "I'll have it in 48 hours or less, Buffy. I promise you." Angel said before hanging up.

For the first time in months, Buffy had something to hang onto - hope. So she went back into the kitchen to talk to Willow. Well, at least they weren't kissing anymore. Now they were just sitting at the counter talking. "Oh, hey Buffy." Willow said brightly as Buffy walked into the room. "Hey Will. What's new?" Buffy asked, obviously sounding like she felt better. "Well, Xander and I have something to share with you." Willow looked at Xander smiling, and he smiled back at her. "We decided to start seeing each other, you know, in a boyfriend and girlfriend sort of way." Xander said, putting his arm around Willow's shoulder. Buffy flashed them a brilliant smile "Wow, guys...that's um, awesome" she said brightly. She was genuinely happy for them. She had always wondered why they had denied their feelings for each other for so long.

"So how about some hot chocolate to celebrate?" Willow asked, still grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "That's exactly what I came in here for. Sounds great." Buffy said. Her conversation with Angel was still replaying in her mind and she was finding it hard to concentrate on Willow's excited banter. At some point, Xander hugged her and they had a brief conversation about him being so happy. At around four, their doorbell rang, and Buffy said "That's not creepy at all" as she ran to see who was visiting them so late. Looking through the peephole, she saw Fred standing on the doorstep clutching a large file box. Buffy opened the door and said "Hi Fred! What brings you here so late...or is it early?" "Hi Buffy. I wanted to drop off the information that Angel had me assemble for you." Fred's crisp English accent reminded Buffy so much of Giles sometimes. Taking the box, Buffy set it on the floor right inside the door. "I don't know what to say, Fred. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough. You really didn't have to come out so late." Buffy said, trying to convey how grateful she really was. Fred just smiled "Look, I know how it feels to lose the person you love the most. This presented the perfect opportunity to help you get William back. Maybe you won't have to live with the heartache for much longer. I believe Rupert will be able to explain everything to you, and Willow has enough experience to pull the ritual off without a hitch."

Buffy hugged Fred and whispered "Thank you" over and over. Fred stepped back and smiled, brushing a stray tendril of hair from Buffy's eyes "You're welcome. Call me if you need help with any of this Buffy. Good luck." she said, turning on her heel and retreating to the town car that waited at the end of the walk. After closing and locking the door, Buffy picked up the box with the intention of taking it to the library to start researching the materials. As she turned around, she found Willow and Xander standing together at the foot of the stairs, just observing. "Hi guys." Buffy said, searching their faces for some clue as to how long they'd been standing there. "So, what's going on Buff? It's not every day we get visitors bearing boxes at four in the morning." Xander said, eyeing the box. "Yeah, come to the library and I'll explain everything." Buffy said. Willow and Xander followed her into the library and closed the door behind them.

In London, Giles was attending a very boring Watcher's seminar. Everywhere he looked there were drab people in drab clothes droning on about drab subjects. You could tell a Watcher everything you thought they'd ever need to know, but until they actually experienced it, it was meaningless. Watcher's aren't born, they are made. It drove Giles crazy to have to sit for hours on end listening to symposiums on things he'd been doing for years. He would much rather be back in California, listening to Buffy and Willow giggle and girl talk while they researched various demons and entities. He longed to sit in the garden out back and sip tea while Dawn discussed the finer points of how bad living with her father sucked. Finally, on the 4th day of the seminar, he couldn't take anymore. After a rather heated discussion with the president of the Watcher's council, he was allowed to leave. He called Buffy and let her know that he would be arriving at the airport somewhere around three o'clock the following afternoon and asked that Xander meet him at the gate.

"Giles has perfect timing!" Buffy said, hanging up the phone. It was almost sunrise, and she, Willow, and Xander had been pouring over the prophecy to make sure that it was indeed about Spike. "I would say that this is definitely about Spike. He fulfilled every single one of the prophecy's requirements." Willow said, absolutely certain that she was right. If she'd learned nothing else from Giles, it was how to read and decipher the ancient texts. "I hope you're right Willow. My sanity depends on it." Buffy said smiling. She trusted Willow. Xander laid the file he had in his hand aside and stood up to yawn and stretch. "Well, I'm off to bed. I have to get some sleep before I go get Giles tomorrow, and if I know you ladies, and I do, I'll be up all night again." He bent to give Willow a quick kiss then headed to bed.

"You should probably get some rest Buffy. The next few days are going to be kind of crazy." Willow said, rubbing her eyes. "You're right, Will. I think I'm going to call it a night." Buffy replied. She gave her bestie a big hug before climbing the stairs to her room. She was asleep in no time, and for the first time in months, she didn't have any nightmares. Spike sat in her window, watching her sleep as he'd done every night. She was so beautiful. He missed the smell of her skin, the silky feel of her hair, the sweetness of her kisses. He would give anything to be able to hold her one last time. Suddenly, he had an idea. He went over and sat beside her on the bed. Focusing all of his energy, he leaned to whisper in her ear "Hello pet." he said. Buffy smiled in her sleep "Hey" she murmured. "I love you Buffy." Spike whispered against her ear "I love you too." she replied. Gathering up the remainder of his strength, he placed one kiss on her lips and vanished.

Buffy sat bolt upright in bed. She scrambled to turn on the bedside lamp and looked around, but she was alone. "I could have sworn..." she said, thinking that Spike had been there with her. She could smell him, and licking her lips to wet them, she could taste him. "It's not possible..." So much for sleep. She laid in bed, trying in vain to doze back off into a sweet dream that just wouldn't come back.