AN: This is the second part of a three part Novella and if you haven't read the first part I would recommend that you do, before reading this, or much of it will make no sense. The first part is called Per Adversa Ad Luce: - One:- Tenebris Procumbit - Darkness Falls; and can be found on fanfiction net at ;

www period fanfiction period net /s/9758024/1/


Per Adversa Ad Luce - Through Adversity to the Light A novella in three parts Part Two: Fulguris Lucem - Flashes of Light

A series of snapshots over the three years following the events in "Tenebris Procumbit" detailing Ryan's journey as he comes to terms with the changes in his life. Contains angst, friendship and humor; AU focusing on Ryan but featuring the whole team.

Established canon up to Kate's return to the 12th, with references and possible spoilers.

Rated T - contains some descriptions of violence and coarse language

I don't own Castle - ABC Studios and Andrew Marlowe do. I'm just borrowing the characters for a while to play.

I am not making any money from this; it's just to freeshare with my ff friends.


One: Realitatum - Reality


"Well, I never did much like reality."

Rick Castle: Flowers For Your Grave


"The gunshot wounds are not really of any concern. They were both through-and-throughs. I'm not too worried about the burns and lacerations either, as they were far worse than they looked, and should heal fairly quickly. He DID lose a lot of blood and his heart was compromised by the electrocution, but we are closely monitoring him and the drip is quickly replacing the fluid lost. What I AM concerned about is his back. As you can see we have him propped on his side, but the cuts and welts are deep and will be extremely painful at first when he wakes up. They are going to leave scars, but we maybe will be able to do grafts to improve things somewhat later on."

"But you're saying he WILL recover?"

"Physically, yes. We can assess the traumatic impact when he wakes and can talk to us."

"So what can we do?"

"Just be here and talk to him. It's very possible he can hear you."

"Right! We can do that."

"Hey Bro, we're all here… "

"Come on Kev, open those baby blues for us… "

"His parents are here…"

"Oh my God! Kevin!"

"I don't understand. Why did this happen?"

"He was… "

"So they say we need to talk to you, but it's really hard to see you like this. You were always such an active little boy, running around from one thing to the next. And always so nosey and wanting to know what everything was for and how it all worked. Oh God, Kevin, is that what this was? Did you want to find something that others couldn't? Just look at you… I can't do this… Patrick, I've gotta get out of here."

"Bridie… Now look Son, your ma's upset and had to go and I need to go after her and look after her. This is the thing I was worried about when you wanted to join the NYPD. It wasn't that I wasn't proud of you, just worried what it could do to those who love you. You really oughta have taken more care, y'know? You had a wife to think about, not just yourself… but that's not to talk about now. We'll be back as soon as your ma can cope. Till then, you concentrate on getting better."

"Why won't he wake up, doc?"

"Detective Esposito, you have to understand your partner has experienced an extreme physical and emotional trauma. His mind is pro… "

"We need to organize the funeral and the wake - we can't wait any longer."

"We need to bury our daughter. I'm sorry her husband can't be there, but you have to…. "

" ' " ... There's a Good Book about goodness and how to be good and so forth, but there's no Evil Book about evil and how to be bad. The Devil has no prophets to write his Ten Commandments and no team of authors to write his biography. We know nothing about him but a lot of fairy stories from our parents and schoolmasters. He has no book from which we can learn the nature of evil in all its forms, with parables about evil people, proverbs about evil people, folk lore about evil people. All we have is the living example of people who are least good, or our own intuition. So," continued Bond, warming to his argument, "Le Chiffre was serving a wonderful purpose, a really vital purpose, perhaps the best…" ' "

"Hey Kev. How are you doing? Castle and Espo have gone to get a bite to eat, so you've just got me for now. It's hard to come back, I know. It was hard for me, too; and you've got far more cause for pain than I ever had, even though I lost my mom. There won't be a rabbit hole, for you at least, Kev, because we DID get them. We got them all. We need… I need you to come back to us. To know that we love you, and miss you. You may not be ready to hear that yet, but now the thought is there, maybe it will grow until you believe it."

"I gotta tell you, Ryan, you really need to wake up soon. Our friends are not doing so good without you. It hurts, sweetie, I know, but you need to get back here where we can help you, and where you can help us. Javi needs his partner. I know he pretends to be all macho-man but you know his insides are just pure honey. Kate, well my girl is just never gonna forgive herself for not getting to you sooner than they did; and Castle is kinda drowning without the one person who actually agrees with his far out theories. So, I'm just saying, come back to us… soon."

" 'Luck in all its moods had to be loved and not feared. Bond saw luck as a woman, to be softly wooed or brutally ravaged, never pandered to or pursued. But he was honest enough to admit that he had never yet been made to suffer by cards or by women. One day, and he accepted the fact, he would be brought to his knees by love or by luck… ' "

"So, it's just you and me for a while, Bro. Castle and Beckett will be back soon though. Anyway, I've been needing to talk to you alone, so I'll grab my chance. I wanted to say I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you about the whole backing up Beckett thing. I know you were backing her up too, just not the same way as I did. She's alive because of you, Bro. You did a much better job than me. Truth is, it was me that was the Judas, for not letting my damn pride recognize that."

On the fifth day after he was rescued from the warehouse on Staten Island, Kevin Ryan opened his eyes and faced reality. A reality where he was alone. Where he was without his wife and child. Oh he knew he wasn't really alone. He still had his mother and father, his sisters and brother, his nieces and nephew. He still had his friends and colleagues at the 12th Precinct. But he still FELT alone because they were not the ones he wanted.

His family and friends all knew the pain he had come through. They all wanted, in their own ways, to be there to support him. But there was no way they could… not yet at least. The truth was they could never understand how much more painful it was, to simply come back… to reality.


FYI: The extracts that Castle is reading to Ryan are from 'Casino Royale' by Ian Fleming.

AN: A HUGE thank you to Firestar385 for beta reading, Americanizing and generally correcting this work. Any remaining mistakes are mine!

Please let me know what you think. All constructive criticism is welcomed - I haven't written in quite a while and the only way to improve is to take on board other people's comments. I hope you will enjoy the reading journey as much as I am enjoying the writing one.

Bookart for this work can be found on my tumblr blog: lsmwalls period tumblr period com [ / ] image [ / ] 64593883053