Author's Note: I'm interpreting some of the vampire mythology from Twilight a little loosely here. It's probably doubtful that Edward would be able to become sick from drinking blood containing bacteria, but I thought the results might be interesting, and so I went with it. I tried my best to keep the canon-bending to a minimum.

"Food poisoning?"

"It would seem so."

"Huh."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing."

"It has to mean something."

"No, it doesn't. It's not like it's in the dictionary."

"But you're giving it a meaning. And I can't figure out what it is."

"If only I wasn't immune to your powers, right?"

"Not really. Understanding the meaning of one grunt wouldn't be worth never getting to know you. Actually, I don't think anything would."

"That's really sweet, and incredibly impractical. What if it were a choice between never meeting me and the world exploding?"

"That's also impractical. Do you really think that's going to happen?"

"It's not much crazier than a vampire with a foodborne illness."



"How are you feeling?"

"Weak."

"At least you aren't human. If you were, you'd be throwing up."

"Eugh. No thanks. Aside from the weakness, I'm not in any pain, but I don't think I'll be able to hunt for a while. Perhaps you should go home."

"And leave you here alone? I don't think so."

"Carlisle will be back soon. I think I can manage a few hours on my own."

"You can try to convince me that I don't need to stay, but that doesn't mean that I'll want to leave."

"I'm dangerous when I haven't hunted in a while."

"I know. I'm not stupid."

"No, just stubborn."

"You make it sound so negative."

"Sorry. Is devoted better?"

"Definitely."



"Well, that was a speedy recovery."

"I'm not human."

"That doesn't mean you have to make it look so easy."

"It is easy."

"Will it be easy for me, too, once I'm changed?"

"No. Well, dealing with a bit of indigestion will be easy. I can't make any promises about everything else."

"You act like food poisoning is no big deal."

"Well, it wasn't."

"Does this happen to you a lot?"

"Not much."

"That's good. I still don't think I'll have an appetite for mountain lion for a long time. Maybe not ever."

"Does that mean you'll change your mind?"

"Probably not."

"At last, something other than a definite no! I think we're making progress."