The Real Reason!
Summary: The real reason Peyton was mad at Haley, early season 3! Baley, one sided Breyton love.
Chapter 1! Peyton's POV!
Peyton's POV!
Haley thinks I'm mad about Nathan and the way she treated him. I'm not. Nathan can look after himself. He treated enough people like crap to be able to take a little.
But Haley thinks that's the reason I've been acting so cold to her. But it's not.
I know the real reason.
Haley doesn't and neither does Brooke. Sometimes I wish they did.
Haley lives with Brooke. Brooke and Haley live all alone in that tiny one bed roomed apartment. And I'm jealous.
That's the reason I've been acting like I have to Haley. I've been being a jealous bitch, plain and simple.
Haley James is living with Brooke Davis, the girl I think I'm in love with, and doesn't even know how lucky she is.
I don't think I realised how much I was in love with Brooke until she was gone. Until she wanted nothing to do with me, until she told me she didn't care if she never saw me again.
I never realised I was in love with her until she broke my heart.
But Brooke doesn't want much to do with me. She still speaks to me, and I guess that's because of Haley, so I guess I shouldn't be acting like this to her but I am.
Because I love Brooke and Haley's the one who gets to live with her.
Me and Brooke always had a relationship with no real boundaries. And now, now there are boundaries everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it.
I don't know why I was with Lucas behind her back; I just wanted so badly to like him. Brooke did, I wanted to see what she saw in him. I wanted to be able to say that I had the same taste in guys. I wanted to say I had some taste in guys.
I wanted to say I loved him, not her.
But it didn't work out that way.
Instead I lost her and him, he wanted her, not me, I wanted her, not him and she wanted him… not me.
I never told Brooke how I felt, I never even told myself. No one knew and no one knows now.
So all I can do is sit here and brood while I think up fantasies where Brooke confesses or love for me or Haley gets hit by a truck. And even as I do this I can't get rid of the images that cloud my head, ruining my fantasies. These are my nightmares, the ones where Brooke and Haley are together. Where Brooke is happy and in love, but with Haley not me and where all I can do is watch as Brooke moves further and further away from me, and closer to Haley. Then they walk off into the sunset, darkness falls and I'm alone, alone in the dark.
So I guess Haley and Brooke will never know the real reason I'm acting like this to Haley. But I do and it kills me.
All I can do I sigh and turn my music up louder, draw some more and wish it was me and not Haley with Brooke tonight in that apartment.
What did we think?
Don't worry I'm still working on The Search For Something Real! (If you haven't read it please do!)
Review!
PLEASE!
Liza!
