Scene played over in my 's been nearly two months, heading for three since it happened. The way the gun went off seemed to permanently echo in my ear. The blood that splattered the floor stained the back of my eye lid. Making every time I closed my eyes I saw it over again. That girl. She had black hair, with shining blue eyes. She only looked about nineteen. She was so scared when I found her. Shaking like a leaf. Tears streaming down her face. I went off mission when I found her. I promised her I would help her. Get her out of there.

We had been sent to a hydra base in Romania. I was sent with the Twins and Cap. They went ahead, agreeing to letting me help her. All I had to do was take her outside the base. At first it was easy. Most of the guys had already been taken out so really all I had to do is avoid back-up. Though I guess I shouldn't have thought taking there test subject wouldn't have been easy.

We had gotten to the bottom floor. Step over body. Most I didn't know if they were dead or unconscious. The girl was clung to my side. Her hand wrapped around my mine. Holding her tight I remembering seeing outside the doorway. A simple glimpse before hearing the clanking of boots against the ground, heading straight for us.

I turned to face her whispering reassuring words, moving her to hide in one of the cardboard. I tell her to only come out for an Avenger, no one else. I tried to quiet her down enough to close the door, leaving it slightly open. With one last glance in her direction, I step out just as the Hydra agents walk in. Taunting them. That all I did. One smart mouth comment after the other as they held their guns in my face. I hold my hands above my head, making sure not to look in the girl's direction.

I was knocked from behind so I landed on my knees. Some laughed while the one with the gun to my head screamed at me. Searching for the girl. My only answer was to spit at him before using a few choice words. His response was take out a pistol, point it at me head ready to shoot. I didn't close my eye. I didn't hold my breath. I just stared at him. Ready to be shot. Instead the girl comes out. I react quick while all their guns turn to her.

I grab the gun in front of me and instead turned to shot the men. At the same time I see the same blue blur enter the room. Each guy just seems to drop. Except one. He has his gun pointed to the girl. I go to move, only to hear the shot go off. After thats a blur. I don't know what happened to the man or with Pietro. I just remember kneeling over the girl. My hand over her stomach. Putting pressure on the wound trying to make the bleeding stop. She was crying, using one of her hands to hold my upper arm as blood spilled out of her.

"Alex, you with us?"

I glance up at the sound of Fury voice. I nod. "Yeah, Sorry."

"As I said, now that we got all the information we needed from the Hydra base. More locations-"

His voice cuts off to me again. I happen to glance at my hands only to see blood on them. My hands shake at the sight of them. And I try my best to hide the shaky breath I let out but I know it doesn't go unnoticed. I can feel it. Looking up I see Wanda standing across the room next to Pietro. Her eyes are looked on me. Everything I'm feeling right now, everything I am seeing so is she. Her face twist as if she was herself in pain. She stumbles a little getting deeper into my thoughts. I notice her hand go to grab Pietro arm. I feel sick.

I place my hand over my mouth before running out of the lounge room and making a run for the nearest bathroom. I hear my name being called but it just background noise. I manage to make to the toilet in time only to completely loose it. I kneel in front of the toilet. Vomiting up the context of my stomach. Which was much. All I had eaten in the pass three days was a sandwich Steve made me eat early, I didn't even finish it. I just through it out when he stopped looking. I guess Steve had read my file.

When I finish vomiting I barely have enough energy to flush the toilet. Before I fall back to lean against a bath tub. I let out a few deep breathes. Trying to calm myself. I tried telling myself it'd be fine. No one will think the worse. They won't find out. Except Wanda. Wanda could read my mind. As if on cue a soft bang comes from the bathroom door. I panic.

"Alex, I need you open the door." It's Steve. "Alex."

"It smells horrible in here." I try to joke. "What did you put in that sandwich?"

"Alex, I mean it." He answer seriously.

"...I don-don't want to." My voice cracks.

"Alex!"

He voice changed to full of concerned, after that I didn't get a choice. It took one laughed bang before the door was broken open. I look to Steve to see the door handle in his left hand with some wood still around it. I don't bother to stand. Probably couldn't even if I tried. Steve drops the handle, only to crouch beside me. I look behind, thankful not to see anyone else. Steve places a hand on either side of my face taking in my expression. I don't bother faking a smile. I can't even bring myself to look a him. Steve silently wraps one arm around my back and another under my thighs.

Wordlessly he picks me up. Taking me to my guest room. I rest my head into his shoulder not wanting to look at anyone. The only people who knew about my disorder was Steve, Natasha and Fury. Only because Steve had a sense to read my file, and Natasha found me uncurious last time. Fury however just looked into my back round. Everyone else was oblivious. Well, except now also the Twins. It didn't take long for Steve to place me in my bed. I turned away from him as he sat at the end.

"How long?" He ask after a moment.

"Almost three months." I mumble.

"Why didn't you tell me? Or Natasha?"

"It not that simple, Steve. You know that."

"'Not that simple.' You almost died last time Alex!" He yelled.

"I won't say I'm sorry."

"You-"

His voice is cut off by the door opening. I hear the sound of heels against the ground and a steady walk to my bed. I already know who it is. Without hesitation they get into the bed next to me. Only to wrap their arms around my waist and dig their head into the side of my neck. Natasha red hair go over my face slightly as she holds me tight. I don't move though. I can't bring myself to hug her back. I feel to tired. Instead I just let my hands rest along one of Natasha's. She tangles her fingers with mine whilst I decided to just fall asleep. I close my eyes to the sound of Steve talking to Natasha quietly.