The first thing she noticed was the overwhelming feelings that washed through her. Pain in her chest as if someone was digging a hole in her chest leaving it to bleed out. Confusion warred in her mind. Hadn't she died in the hospital of cancer not a hole in her chest? Did they operate on her or something? She was sure she had died, the out of body experiene she had after she stopped breathing, the pain that left her feeling disorientated after having had it so long and the immense relief that it was over. She looked up to see she was sitting in front of a window showing a view of snow of the ground.
She wondered for a moment where she was. She looked around and recognised the room as hers and yet she knew she had never been in it before. She tried to clear her mind and distract from the pain to make sense of the disjointed memories in her head. She finally remembered meeting the embodiment of the fates.
They told her she died before she was meant to and they needed to return her to the living to restore the balance. Apparently the balance was very delicate. Any death that happened before it should could tip it and cause the end of the world. They explained it worked similar to ripples in the water. They start off small getting bigger some becoming tidal waves. As it was her early death was impacting her counterpart in another world and she was dying as well, their bond pulling their souls to each other.
As a result of their conversation they merged her soul with her counterpart's soul in another world. As she sorted through her mind she found out her counterpart was named Bella Swan and she was going through a heart break. They did tell her to expect anomalies with the merge as she would have a full soul instead of half like most humans and last of all she was the first soul to ever live with her full soul.
The more she remembered of her counterpart's life the more incredulous she became. Her first thought was great she was an experiment. Were they serious? Surely there was some kind of mistake. If what she now knew was true then she had fallen into a world that she knew to be fiction where she came from. She could feel it, she had not just taken over her life, she was Bella Swan.
She felt as if she had lived two lives one as Sarah Montgomery and the other as Isabella Marie Swan. She hoped she would not slip up and then blurt out she was from another world. She was sure Charlie would have her committed for sure. Her head cleared for what felt like the first time in long time. Bella stood up from her chair and looked around.
Her room looked unlived in. It was eerie. She found the pain was actually manageable now as she moved around the room picking up a change of clothes and going to take a shower. She was going to need to pull herself together before facing Charlie. She felt guilty remembering his face as he watched his only daughter break and fall into despair.
She could now see it was killing him to see it. What was worse was she knew Bella would not have lasted through the night without the merge. Even now the pain she was feeling made her head reel. As Sarah she had never had her heart broken. Sure she had gone out with a few guys but that was it. She never fell in love with any of them. She was determined to do what she could to show him she would be okay.
The shower felt wonderful as the hot water cascaded down her body. She frowned when she saw how unfit her body was. As Sarah she practised kickboxing and was a black belt in karate until her illness. She was going to have to fix that despite her clumsiness as Bella. The next thing she needed to think about was what she going to do about her knowledge. Obviously things were going to be different now. Only half of her was in love with Edward Cullen, the other part of her had actually never met him. She knew her reaction when seeing him again was going to be different.
She looked up at the clock on the wall as she made her way downstairs. It was still early, seven o'clock. Charlie was already gone having left a note to say he was going fishing with Harry he would be home later in the day. It gave Bella time to get her bearings. She decided she might as well start getting her body back into shape. She had breakfast, tidied up the house and began stretching. She hoped it would help her cope and keep her mind from thinking about Edward.
When Charlie came home later that day Bella had dinner ready and was currently finishing her homework. She looked up from where she was sitting on the couch books around her and saw Charlie staring at her unsure how to react. So she spoke first "Hi dad. Did you have a good day?"
Charlie closed the distance between them and sat down opposite her and replied "It was alright. How was yours?"
She shrugged "I got my homework done and dinner as well. I made chicken."
The small exchange was strained but it was a start. Charlie was not the best conversationalist to begin with so she decided to call it a win. They had dinner and Charlie helped her wash up the dishes. He seemed to want to be closer to her to see if she was pretending and then return to her catatonic state. When they finished Bella said to Charlie "I won't lie and say I'm automatically okay dad because I'm not. But I'm trying to be, eventually I will be."
Her heart broke when she saw the relief on his face when she was eating. She could see a sheen of tears in his eyes and moved close to him before wrapping her arms around him. As she pulled away after her impromptu hug she said "I'll be fine dad. I promise."
Charlie nodded and let her go. She went upstairs making plans to go down to La push in the morning. It was time to go and see her friend Jacob. It occurred to her that this might have been when Bella went to the movies with Jessica. She decided to save herself that headache especially knowing the outcome of that excursion and she had a feeling that with what she knew of her old personality she would most likely not be able to tolerate Jessica for too long.
She knew Charlie was awake half the night because she could hear him moving outside her door occasionally and sometimes just opening the door to check on her. It broke her heart to realise just how much worry she caused him. She eventually fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.
Bella woke up at eight that morning. It was a Saturday she did not have school to go to. She remembered her resolve to go and see Jacob and felt her day brighten a little. She went through her morning stretching exercises and breakfast. Charlie's face lit up when she mentioned going to la push to see Jacob. It made her feel a little better knowing she made him smile.
xxxxxx
Bella was not sure what to expect when she arrived but the joy on Jacob's face when she stopped the truck made up for the tenseness she was feeling. She felt like she could breath properly for the first time in a while. As Jacob swung her round he asked "What brings you here Bella?"
She laughed and replied "You do Jake. I was hoping we could hang out."
She marvelled at how happy Jacob always seemed. It actually lifted her spirits and made her feel better like the thing that had been suffocating her was sudddenly thrown off like a blanket.
When Jake finally put her down she said "I feel better already just being here. I'm sorry i didnt ome before."
Jake positivley beamed at the statement and replied "You know you are always welcome here Bella."
She commented on how big he had grown. He was much taller than her now. She felt like a dwarf and teased him about it telling him he needed to share whatever he was eating because she seemed to have stopped getting taller.
The day passed pleasantly. She watched Jake as he worked on his car and they just talked. She had not felt this relaxed in a long time and was actually sad when she realised that it was nearing sunset. Charlie arrived to her surprise and they had dinner that Billy made. It turned into a small get together as more people from the reservation showed up. By the time Bella went home she knew she was strong enough to cope. She would be okay.
Days went by and Bella spent most of her time with Jake whether in his garage or at Charlie's house doing homework. Sometimes his friends Quill and Embry showed up to hang out and she found she quite enjoyed hanging out with them. She decided to stay away from the meadow. From what she could remember she would run into Laurent there and get him killed and then Charlie would risk his life going to search for the elusive wolves.
Speaking of Charlie she was cooking much healthier food for him now. This was triggered when she remembered that Harry was going to have a heart attack. Hopefully her dad was much healthier than Harry but it was better to be safe than sorry. She even made a deal with him to exercise with her every other day in exchange of her making more of an effort to get better.
He agreed so fast she thought she would get whiplash. So now four times a week she and Charlie did stretch exercises and went for a jog in the mornings. It actually brought them closer and improved their relationship. They were not so awkward around each other anymore. Bella slowly increased her stamina and started her martial arts movements building up slowly seeing as she had never done such workouts as Bella. Two months went by and she was making progress. During that time Bella took her savings and made her way to Port Angeles. Jake insisted on going with her for protection.
She bought herself a new wardrobe seeing as her counterpart barely had enough outfits to cover a single week. How she managed it she would never know. She included a wet suit remembering the cliff diving. She did not know if she was going to actually go through with it but just in case something pushed her to doing it she did not want to freeze to death.
It all came to a head when Jake seemed to be avoiding her. She had been expecting it from her knowledge of events but it still hurt. She could not help calling him hoping that he would at least speak to her but he wouldn't pick up the phone. She was home alone when it happened. Charlie had just left with Harry to go fishing when she called Jacob only to hear the lie about having mono. She grabbed her trainers and jumper and left the house to go jogging.
It always helped to clear her mind. She ran into the forest keeping to the familiar paths she and Charlie always took when they went running. She could feel her mind calming as she pushed herself to to move faster. Ever since she started up mere martial arts again she became less accident prone a bit more graceful. She did still fall occasionally but it was not as bad as it used to be.
She turned around to return to the house when she heard an almost familiar voice and turned to see the last vampire she wanted to meet. Laurent stood in front of her eyes blood red and a look of shock on his face. Bella cursed herself. She had gone further than she had been planning to go.
His voice was both new and familiar to Bella as he spoke "Bella."
She calmed herself and replied "Laurent."
He seemed genuinely surprised as he asked "What are you doing here? Alone?"
Bella replied "Just out jogging. Some of us have to actually exercise to keep fit Laurent. We don't all have the vampire ability to stay fit without it."
Laurent actually laughed at that and said "I can see why the Cullens kept you as their pet. You are very entertaining."
Bella felt insulted by that and felt a tingle inside her body. Laurent continued as if he did not notice the sudden change. "I went by the Cullens place. They seem to have left. I would have assumed they would have taken you with them. Were you not a favourite of theirs?"
She replied "Contrary to what you believe, I have my own life here. I was not their pet or whatever insulting names you have cooking in your head."
Bella had no idea why she was antagonising the vampire. She had already died once and was not afraid of it happening again. It gave her the balls to ask "What are you doing here Laurent?"
He regarded her for a moment. Her lack of fear making him hesitate. He could not even smell the fear most humans have for his kind. He had to ask "You do not seem afraid of me."
She snorted "Why would I be? If you even attempt to harm me you won't make it out of here alive. You will be ripped to pieces by the wolves. This is marked territory. I know for a fact they are already close they can scent vampires from miles away. The only reason they haven't attacked right now is because you haven't been hostile yet."
Bella was lying through her teeth, by then. Despite her lack of fear of death she still had self preservation instincts. "You are changing the subject Laurent. What are you doing here?"
"Laurent could see she spoke with conviction and his self preservation that he used to survive came to the fore. He needed to leave. So he said before disappearing "Victoria asked me to see if there was a way past the wolves to get to you. She wants to kill you."
Bella didn't look surprised instead she said "I am aware. She has been trying to get past the wolves for a while now. You might want to leave. They'll be here any second."
Laurent gave her a look before turning and running back where he came from. Bella turned and ran back where she came from. Her heart beating fast when, she was full of adrenaline and she seemed to be coming down from her high. She felt relief when she saw Charlie's house in view. She was nearly there. Well at least until she heard something large running behind her.
She looked behind her but didn't see anything. Her heart stuttered as she glimpsed a huge black something among the trees. She did not need to be told to know that was one of the wolves. If she had to guess she would say that was Sam Uley. She nearly laughed out loud, she had been right. It seemed the wolves tracked Laurent most likely found her scent and followed her home.
She stopped and double backed walking towards the huge beast that seemed to somehow blend into the trees she saw him about to move and spoke in a quiet normal voice. "Wait Sam."
The huge wolf froze staring at her and she continued "I just wanted to say thank you for looking out for me when you didn't have to its more than I can ever repay. The vampire you have been chasing her name is Victoria. She is after me. Edward killed her mate when he tried to kill me now she wants revenge. I don't know much about her except she has a knack for escaping sticky situations she finds herself in. I know i am probably not your most favourite person right now but I wanted you to know that you don't have to worry about me outing your secret, I won't. I have known for a while now and no Jake didn't tell me anything. I figured it out when I figured out the Cullen's secret."
She turned around to leave when she heard shifting sounds and suddenly Sam was was saying "Bella!"
Bella turned around to look at him and he continued "Come over to Emilys later I'm sure Jake wold like to see you."
Bella smiled and replied "I will thank you."
He disappeared after that and Bella turned around going home. She did not linger, she ran the rest of the way home and ignored the urge to lock the door, if a vampire wanted in there would be no stopping him. Now that her adreniline was slowing down she realised she could still feel the tingle in her body. She whirled around to find everything that was not nailed down floating in the air. Her eyes widened because she knew she was the one doing it. She breathed in calming her racing heart and everything settled back down again. Just in time because Charlie came out from his room looking like he had just changed his clothes. It was time to start dinner.
Charlie noticed her mood was different from the past couple of months and asked about it. Because of their now closer relationship she told him that Jake was avoiding her and she had no idea why. She told him not to worry they would sort things out themselves and even if they didn't it was okay because she had him. Charlie didn't push after that and they cleared up their dishes.
As soon as Bella was in her room she was able to start panicking. Funnily enough it was not herself she was afraid for but Charlie. How was she supposed to protect him? Sleep eluded her. Eventually she sat up and began to try and see if what happened earlier was a fluke. It wasn't. She watched as her desk lifted off the floor. It was surprisingly easy for her to control it. At least until the sparks left her fingers and she nearly set her table on fire.
She sat on her bed wondering what on earth was happening to her. She felt panic about to consume her. She knew she needed to hold herself together. Panicking would not help anyone. She grabbed her car keys and told Charlie she was going to La Push. He didn't stop her instead he smiled and told her good luck.
Now that there were no more secrets between them Bella and Jacob saw more of each other whoever Bella was off school and Jake was not running patrols. Bella found time to practice what she dubbed her new ability. She could move with her mind including heavy things and throw them aside with speed and precision that frightened even her sometimes. She could also generate lightning and fire with her hands. Her body temperature was also slightly higher than normal. It frightened her at first but when she began to gain control she found it could become quite useful especially when she began to incorporate it with her martial arts.
Bella received a phone call from Jake asking her if she wanted to go cliff diving seeing as he had some down time. Knowing how rare her time was with Jake these days because of Victoria she immediately agreed.
She found Jake waiting for her by the beach. She got out of the truck already in her wetsuit her hair up in a pony tail and raided, swimming cap in her hand. She smirked at Jacob who was staring with no remorse at her now fit body and said "Are we going to do this or not Jake?"
Jake looked like he was pulling his eyes back into their sockets when he answered "Yeah sure lets go."
Bella laughed as she ran toward the cliff edge not waiting for Jake and jumped off, it was exhilarating making her feel so free. She loved extreme sports in her former life and this definitely fit in with what she liked. As she got closer to the water she was thinking she definitely needed to try out skydiving. She went in head first then made to swim up knowing Jake would be jumping in after her when she saw Victoria in the water.
She sneered at the vampire and raised an arm, using her body as a lighting conductor to send a volley of lightning to the vampire but then Jake jumped into the water and she stopped realising she could fry him too. Victoria saw Jake and swam away. Jake pulled her up out of the water assuming she was not able to swim through the suddenly stronger and higher waves violently crashing on the shore.
Bella had a look of concentration on her face as she turned around to look at the water. Victoria was either long gone or hiding in the water. Jacob turned her face to look at him and said "You okay Bells?"
She blinked then said "Yeah I'm okay."
Jack was about to say something when he turned to look at the water but they were disturbed by Sam's arrival "Jake! The rest of us are going to help out at the Clearwater's Harry has had a attack."
Bella's eyes widened and she felt guilty for forgetting about him. "Is he okay?"
Sam shook his head "He died."
She knew Charlie would be devastated. Harry was his best friend. Jake brought her back to the present when he said "I'll take Bella home and then go patrol."
It was obviously what Sam had been hoping for because he nodded and said "Take care Bella. I'll see you."
Jake drove Bella's truck back to her house. She sat in the passenger's seat thinking about how the events seemed to happen the way she remembered despite the little changes she had made like how she was no longer brooding or too dependent on Jake for support. He seemed to understand that she just wanted to be his friend. She explained to him that if she were to date him it would be on the rebound and spelled for disaster. There was also the fact that he would eventually imprint on someone.
When he tried to protest she told him there was no way of controlling it and until he could figure out a way to study the way it worked and could be prevented then they would work on the premise that it would eventually happen. She finally got through to him when she told him she did not want to get hurt like that again and gave Emily, Sam and Leah as an example. Jake agreed reluctantly but he understood that she would most likely not survive another heartbreak if she took such a chance. Their relationship would always be fraught with the fear of his imprint on both their minds.
They arrived at Charlie's house that Bella was starting to see as home especially as she and Charlie's relationship was more father and daughter now. She got out of the car and walked into the house. Jake phased and took off into the woods behind her house. As she was turning on the lights she was wondering why she did not see Alice Cullen. Everything else seemed to happen based on her knowledge of the books she read, well sort of.
Shrugging she went to take a shower and then perhaps make a few dishes to take to the Clearwaters. There was plenty of food in the fridge courtesy of sometimes having Jake and a couple of his friends over Embry and Quil.
She was in the middle of cooking several stews, lasagnas, and a couple of deserts when she heard the car in the driveway. Assuming it was Charlie she continued to cook. However when she didn't hear him say something she turned around to meet Alice standing in her kitchen doorway. Alice gasped out "Bella! How are you alive? I saw you jump and you didn't come back up. Why would you do that? Did you not ink of what it would do to Charlie?"
Bella didn't move from her spot. She replied "I wasn't trying to kill myself Alice. A friend and I were cliff diving. He helped me get out of the water."
"Why didn't I see you get pulled out of the water? I ..."
She stopped when a loud snarl sounded from behind Behind Bella. Bella turned around to see Jake and knew if she didn't do something there was going to be a bloodbath right there in her dad's kitchen.
"Jake, this is Alice Cullen, Alice this is Jake. Please refrain from destroying my dad's kitchen I've spent hours cooking food to take to the funeral I wouldn't want that to go to waste."
Jake made to take Bella's hand as he said "I'm getting you out of here Bells. Away from the leech."
Alice snarled in return and said "I would never hurt her."
Bella stood between them and said looking at Alice "Alice why don't you go hunting for now and we can talk later." She looked at Jake and said "Jake help me finish making the food to take down later."
Jake was shaking but Bella's hand in his steadied him. She was impressed he had gained so much control considering it had not been that long since he phased. It had taken her months this to gain control of her own abilities. She was fairly confident if it came right down to it she could hold her own with either one but she did not want to test it. Alice nodded and left saying she would be back soon. Jake turned to Bella and said "Bella if the Cullens are back I can't protect you here. This is their territory."
"She faced him and said "I know Jake but I need to do this. I need closure. I can't move on with things hanging the way they are. I want my life back. Can you please try and understand where I'm coming from with this?"
Jake did not look too happy but he nodded. " I'm not leaving you alone with her."
"Let's take the food to the Clear waters first then we will see how things go okay?" Jacob and Bella gathered the food and placed it in Bella's truck.
Upon arrival Bella paid her condolences and found the food was well received seeing as she brought plenty of it. Charlie looked proud of her despite the grief in his eyes and later on they drove home together with Jacob in her truck. Jacob had already filled Sam in on the visit of Alice Cullen. He instructed Jacob to find out what she wanted and if they were coming back.
Meanwhile Bella told Charlie about Alice. He was not too happy about it but he agreed to let her stay for a bit. When they got back to the house Alice arrived only moments later. It was tense enough to feel tangent to Bella and for Charlie to notice. Deciding not to intervene he excused himself and went take a shower. Alice answered Jacob's questions when he asked telling him she was the only one present and she had no knowledge of their return as of yet. Jacob left after Bella assured him she would be fine.
Alice stayed the night and Bella tossed and turned trying to sort through her own feelings. She was angry that much was clear, well pissed off and Alice noticed. She also felt her feelings for Edward. She was not sure if she wanted to go through it all again. Once was enough. She was beginning to decide she would not take Edward back should he ask her.
There was also the fact that while she was still half a soul she was more than willing to be turned for Edward. The part of her that was Sarah cringed from the very thought. There was no way she wanted to be turned into a creature that lived on blood. She was a vegetarian for crying out loud.
She wondered if it would work or if she would turn into some kind of abomination because of the changes her body was going through. She pretended like she didn't notice but her skin was tougher, she was faster and much more graceful and agile in her movements. When she used her new abilities she was confident she could take on a vamp and hurt and pain from Alice ditching her considering they were meant to be best friends was what made her hold back from the usually perky vampire. Bella didn't know if it was within her to forgive them.
