You make me feel like im living a teenage dream..
Pretty ironic how those words made my life complete and perfect, but then made my life living hell. When Blaine first sang them to me, I felt uplifted with certain joy. I knew right then, in that moment, that Blaine Anderson was the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I thought that. Thats another little piece of advice for you; dont let what you think is true get mixed in with reality. Usually you think something is 'meant to be', and it turns out to be all wrong. Blaine and I were strong, for 1 year, 347 days, to be exact. No arguing, just love, love, love. Not that I was counting.
Other than Mike and Tina we were the strongest couple at McKinley, and we had that special edge too, being a homosexual couple and all. Then we had that little argument during Whitney week, I mean, I was stressed! I had my NYADA audition coming up, which was a total waste of time because I never even got in and now im working at . Not that im complaining or anything.
But anyway, Blaine thought me texting Chandler was a big deal when he used to text Sebastian all of the time! He got all mad and yada yada, you know all that already. When we made up we were strong again, and I thought we would be forever. I thought Blaine would graduate next year and come live with me in New York, and we would have the perfect lives together. That was of course, until today.
Blaine surprised me last week, he just turned up at Rachel and I's apartment, alongside Finn. I was shocked but non-the-less happy to see him. I didnt stop smiling the whole time I was with him, and today was the first time ever; Blaine Anderson made me cry.
We were walking through times square, around about 3 hours ago. Im still crying now, Blaine has left, Rachel's out with Finn, im all alone. Earlier today we were at a bar. Blaine took the stage, really unexpectedly. He began playing the piano in a very romantic fashion. For a minute there I thought that Blaine must of had a secret twin, you know like Santana apparently has 'Snix' who is evil?
Well yeah, like Snix but instead of evil; Romantic. Cause this was Blaine Anderson, the same guy who serenaded a guy who was 5 years older than him in the Lima mall GAP. The same guy that turned up at a party in a hideous love heart eyepatch when he was supposed to be resting cause he just had surgery the day before. This guy doesn't do romance. So he sang teenage dream again, but slower this time, and without about 100 more warbler kids in the room. In that moment, it was like I fell in love with him all over again. When he had finished he was crying, I thought it was happiness crying. Like he was just as overwhelmed with love as I am. I was wrong. Oh so very wrong.
Anyway, so were walking through times square, and he stops me. He tells me to face him, I do as he says. I see the tears in his eyes and automatically assume the worst (I am Kurt Hummel after all, next to Rachel Berry im the biggest drama queen in all of Ohio, or I was, before I came to the city of my dreams).
I clear my throat, as I see the red rim around his perfectly shaped eyelids.
I dont remember exactly what I said, but it was something like; "Blaine, whats wrong?" I remember him replying; "N-nothing, Kurt, I think we need to talk, seriously."
I remember that gut feeling I got in my stomach, I felt sick.
"Kurt, I love you, more than anything, but somethings not right. I dont feel anything between us anymore."
That was the bombshell. From that second on, my life was (or is, depending on however you look at it) now over.
"Blaine just tell me whats wrong.. stop pretending like there isnt anything wrong, you cant just break up with me!"
Blaine looked down at his feet, clearly ditering. Because New York nights are so nice, especially where we were, I could hear him whispering from a mile away. I wasnt a mile away though, I was next to him. I heard him whisper, in that saintly angel voice of his;
"Im sorry."
Thats it, after that, nothing. I ran, I couldnt face him, I just couldnt. Although that was 3 hours ago, it seems like a lifetime. I'll hopefully see him again soon, maybe this is just a break. Maybe. It wont be permanent, I know that for sure. I love Blaine and he loves me. Maybe he's right. A break will do us nothing but good.
Soon, i'll see him again. When I do, the reunion will be amazing. He wont stay away for too long, and if he does, i'll go and find him.
I cant live without Blaine. I need him, and he needs me.
