Part of the Adamsverse universe co-written with Bugsfic.

This is a standalone fic set at the end of Unbreakable.

His cab waiting at the curb, Billy Keikeya showed Laura Adams to her front door. "I wish to thank you again for taking me to the movies and dinner for my birthday, Mrs Adams," he said, his cheeks bright pink.

"Of course, Billy." Laura gave his arm a squeeze, even as she looked up at the mansion's face. The curtains were pulled tight on the front parlor where Bill was convalescing and there appeared to be no light on in the room. "You were so helpful to us while we were looking into Ellen Tigh's death. We owe you so much."

He looked at the windows too. "How is Mr Adams doing?"

Laura forced on a smile. "He's improving every day. Thank you for asking."

Billy could see her anguish and worry, but for once he repressed his investigatory instincts. "I'll say goodnight then, Mrs Adams, so you may go to him." Unsure what to do next, he finally kissed the back of Laura's hand.

Her giggle bubbled up. "Thank you, Billy," she said, her eyes sparkling. He watched her take the last stairs to the front door.

But as she thanked Old Jaffee for holding the door open for her, the first cramp tightened in her stomach. Crossing the foyer, Laura hummed one of the catchy tunes from the film, ignoring the pain. When she approached Bill's room, Nurse Mathias slipped around the door. Spotting her patient's wife, the nurse barred her way

"Mr Adams cannot be disturbed," she said firmly.

Laura gritted her teeth. "I won't wake him. I simply wish to kiss him goodnight."

The nurse glowered down her long nose at Laura. "It's very late, Mrs Adams. If we are to expect Mr Adams to recover fully, we need his sleep to be unmolested."

Laura was suddenly filled with a vision of the evil character from the movie. All she would need to do was add a wart to the end of the woman's nose. And perhaps a broomstick...

"Goodnight, Mrs Adams," Nurse Mathias dismissed Laura. Then she lowered herself to sit rigidly in a chair right outside Bill's room, guarding the entrance.

Laura stormed up the grand staircase to her room and slammed the door behind her. Elosha looked up from her knitting and noticed her charge wince and clutch her stomach as she kicked off her shoes.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked as she came over to help Laura out of her dress.

"That nurse," Laura grumbled. Jake had been waiting patiently for his head to be petted, so she complied. Happy, he returned to his wicker bed beside hers.

"There's something else..." The maid gave her a quelling look. "Did you eat shellfish tonight?"

"Just a few shrimp," insisted Laura.

"Mr Adams wasn't there to stop you." Elosha folded Laura's dress over her arm.

Laura frowned at her. "No, he was not. He needs his rest-I wish I could have just seen him, even if he was sleeping," she fretted.

Elosha gave her back a quick rub before heading to the dressing room to hang up the clothes.

Laura went to the bathroom for some Alka-Seltzer. Surely that would quiet her roiling tummy.

After she'd gulped down the fizzing water, Elosha led her to bed. "Get some rest yourself," she urged, pulling the covers up to Laura's chin.

Laura delicately burped, but nodded. The maid turned the light out but this made Laura even more ill-feeling. Her head began to spin as well as her stomach. She willed herself to sleep-in the morning she'd feel better and would be able to see Bill.

It felt as though her bed was whirling around and around, and despite her eyes being closed, everyone in her life recently flashed in and out of focus, Bill's face most of all. With a thump her bed landed, and everything went blissfully dark.

Several voices began chirping near Laura's dizzy head . None of them were making any sense.

"She's alive."

"Of course she's alive! She's just asleep."

"Well, wake her up! We need to get her out of here before her sister turns up, dammit!"

"I can't believe we're all free at last! We need to thank her properly."

"Maybe we should get her to a doctor."

"The Wizard. You know he doesn't like to be called 'doctor' anymore. It's Wizard."

"Wizard, Doctor, whatever name he goes by he's still a fool. We'd be better off getting her looked over by the lion."

Laura fluttered her eyes, still trying to make sense of the gibberish she was hearing. Wizard? Lion?

"She's waking up."

She blinked her eyes open, and they grew round immediately. She was gazing up into the concerned face of a dark woman wearing a bright blue satin dress with puffy sleeves and a white apron. An over-sized turban tied up with a thick blue ribbon was perched on the woman's head-and she held a lollipop.

"A Munchkin?" Laura gasped, struggling to sit up.

"She knows I'm a Munchkin! See Scarecrow, I told you that being Queen of the Munchkins would bring me prestige." The woman preened, straightening her satin apron.

"Well, it only brings me a headache," the man the Munchkin referred to as a scarecrow muttered. Laura could see now that indeed he did have straw sticking out from his tattered Naval tunic cuffs and the tops of his boots. A dingy white cap sat atop his bald head.

"I thought you had nothing in that head to ache," the Munchkin threw back at him haughtily.

"Stop your bickering, you two. It's not getting us anywhere. Let me have a look at you, young lady."

A lion, with a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth, leaned over and started to give her a routine medical examination. Laura suddenly saw the funny side of a smoking, doctor lion and began to giggle.

"She's hysterical, dammit!" the Scarecrow growled.

"You would be too if your house just landed on the most evil and witchy nurse of Oz. I'm telling you, the sister will come for her," fretted the Munchkin Queen.

"Oz?" Laura gasped. "I'm in Oz? I'm not in San Francisco?"

Scarecrow scratched his head. "If only I had a brain I'd remember where you were supposed to be from, but San Francisco doesn't sound right."

Laura reached out and gripped Scarecrow's hand. "You have a brain! You always did! You just didn't realize it."

Doubt remained on the scarecrow's lean face.

Laura sat up, holding her spinning head. This was a ridiculous situation, but if she were in Oz, she might as well move things along. "Where's the Tin Man?" she asked.

The lion took a deep puff on his cigarette. "A Tin Man? What the hell's that?"

The Scarecrow pushed back his cap. "If I could think, I'd think she means the fella I jaw with when I'm collecting apples to make my cider. Yep, he's made of tin."

"Show me." Laura struggled to her feet with the aid of the tiny Munchkin.

The lion and scarecrow led her toward an apple orchard.

"Wait, what about this mess?" called the Munchkin Queen. Laura looked back and saw her mansion there, with a pair of feet sticking out from under the foundation. The feet wore a pair of dull brown orthopedic nursing shoes.

"I don't want those!" Laura said, glancing down at her perfectly fine red pumps that matched her purse, and ducked under a tree branch to seek the Tin Man.

The Scarecrow stood beside a sturdy metal man, covered in rust. "Here he is! My old pal."

"He's your old pal because he can't speak," the lion said sarcastically, lighting his new cigarette by striking a match on the Tin Man's arm.

Laura suddenly noticed a dog lying by the Tin Man. "Wait, Toto's supposed to be with me!"

The motley colored shepherd, much too large to fit in her basket...purse, thumped his tail, but remained sitting beside the frozen man. She approached and looked closely. He was a sturdily built figure, with a broad chest, thick arms and bowed legs.

The man tried to speak, but his jaw was frozen shut. Tears came to Laura's eyes.

"He's rusted," pointed out the Scarecrow.

"I know that, you idiot!" Laura burst out. "I'm sorry; where's that oil can?"

"It's here." Scarecrow held up a can. "But it's empty. Has been for several years."

Laura took the can, turned it upside down, gave it a shake, but all to no avail. When she squeezed the lever, still nothing came out.

She opened her purse. "Surely I have something we can use."

"Shouldn't she have a basket?" the Munchkin Queen asked the puffing lion.

Laura pulled out a set of driving gloves, a set of long white gloves, three tubes of lipstick, a container of rouge and one of powder, a hairbrush, a small mirror, her cigarette case...

"What you women can hold in those things," Scarecrow muttered.

"Wait!" Laura cried. "The lipstick! It's oil-based."

She took one of the tubes and applied it to the Tin Man's joints.

He slowly moved his arms and cranked his neck. But his frozen stoic expression remained.

She ran the makeup over his lips.

"Thanks," the man said in his rusty voice.

"That's not really his color," Lion noted.

She tended to agree. "It's a nice color on me." She ran her thumb over his bottom lip, and gazed into his eyes that were very blue against his silver face.

"You're not wearing any though," the Tin Man told her. "Here-" He dipped his head and placed his lips against hers for a sweet kiss.

She immediately kissed him back. She couldn't let him walk around with bright red lips, after all. She caressed her lips eagerly against his to get every last trace of color.

"When you two are finished, I think I should have a look at him," the Cowardly Lion doctor interrupted.

He tested the Tin Man's reflexes and lifted his eyelid up, nodding happily as he went. Then, he frowned after pulling out a stethoscope from under his fur and placing the end to the tin chest plate.

"He doesn't have a heart!" Laura exclaimed as the lion stepped back, a grave look on his whiskered face. She tapped on the Tin Man's chest. It rang empty.

"Nope. Never have," the Tin Man said dejectedly. "Always wanted one, though." He looked woefully at Laura. "With a heart, I could be in love."

The lion cocked his head. "Maybe he just wasn't meant to have a heart," he said gloomily.

"Can we sort this kissing and heart thing out later," Scarecrow snapped. "It's time we headed off. I don't wanna be here when the Wicked Witch of the West arrives, thank you."

"Do you think you'll be able to walk?" Laura asked the Tin Man.

"Yeah," he replied, but he clutched her arm for support as they all began to follow the yellow brick road.

"How far do we have to go?" Laura whined. She liked walking arm in arm with the Tin Man, but her heels were not meant to traverse over a cobbled path. "Besides, we don't need to see the Wizard."

She stopped and the group turned back, puzzled. Hands on her hips, she looked them over.

She nodded toward the Scarecrow. "You have a brain, despite any evidence to the contrary-"

To the lion: "You have courage-"

Twirling his tail as he puffed on a cigarette, the lion said dryly, "Did I say I didn't?"

She ignored him and lay her hand on the Tin Man's chest. "And you have a heart, trust me. You love me-"

A shadow came over them.

"The Wicked Witch!" bellowed the lion, ducking to hide behind the Scarecrow.

The Tin Man wrapped his heavy arm around Laura and pulled her close.

A large green bubble floated down to rest before them, and when it dissolved, a blonde woman in a shimmering gown with a tiara and wand gave them a sickeningly sweet smile.

She looked familiar to Laura...

Scarecrow sidled up to the woman. "Hey, darlin'. How ya doin?" He pulled a flask from his hip pocket. "Wanna nip of my cider?"

The woman's eyes lit up. "Yes, please!" She gulped off the flask while Scarecrow watched her admiringly.

The Tin Man was not amused. "Who are you?"

"Why, I'm Glinda, the Good Witch!"

Laura and the Tin Man exchanged skeptical looks.

The Tin Man was willing to give her a chance though. "Say, I need a heart. I fancy this gal-" He nodded toward Laura. "But can't do much about it with no heart." He motioned to the wand in Glinda's hand. "Can you wave that thing and get me one?"

Laura interrupted. "You have a heart, Bill-"

"Who's Bill?" asked the Tin Man, his blue eyes guileless.

She lay her hands on his chest. "You just have to believe it. Your heart is in there, it's beating-" She was trying to convince herself as well. "You just have to believe-" she repeated.

"This Wizard," Tin Man said slowly.

"I'm telling you, he's a damn fool," growled Scarecrow, momentarily diverted by ogling the blonde witch.

Another shadow blocked out the light.

"The Wicked Witch!" the lion wailed, ducking behind the Tin Man this time.

An evil cackle filled the air, but it was not a witch who swooped down from the sky, but flying monkeys. They snatched up the Tin Man, wrenching him from Laura's grasp, and slapping aside Toto's snapping jaws.

The lion held her back as she sobbed, "Stop them! Stop them!" She buried herself in his thick fur. "I'll never get his heart now!"

Rolling to and fro in her bed, Laura gasped for breath. She woke, clutching Jake tightly. He whined with worry. Frantically, she felt over to the other side of the bed. Bill was still gone-Bill was downstairs.

Struggling from her tangled and damp bedding, Laura leapt from her bed. She had to see him, wicked nurses be damned!

She stormed down the stairs, barefoot and in nothing but her negligee. Elosha popped her head out of the dressing room where she'd been sorting through Laura's things, but decided to let her mistress fight her own battles when she saw the set of Laura's spine.

Nurse Mathias rose from her chair as Laura advanced across the foyer's marble floor.

"Mrs Adams-" she started to say.

"Stand aside," Laura said crisply. "Please."

The nurse put her hands on her hips, blocking the door. "Mr Adams needs his rest. He cannot be disturbed by visitors."

"I am not a visitor," Laura hissed. "I am his wife."

She tossed back her head. "And I sign your checks." Normally, she was loath to mention money, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Mathias pursed her mouth...And took one step to the side. "Just a moment," she said grudgingly.

Laura opened the door slowly and crept inside. In the dim room, Bill lay on his back, gently snoring. She always rolled him on his side when he did that, but she supposed his injury made it necessary to sleep on his back.

She sank to her knees beside him, stroking his hair lightly so as not to wake him. She'd tell him about her silly nightmare tomorrow, but for now...

She lay her head on his chest, listening...

Smiling, she took his hand. Through the thick bandage, she heard his heart beating strong and true.

"There's no place like home," she whispered.

The end~

E/N: Yes, we're just as ashamed as you'd expect. In our defence, 1939, the year The Wizard of Oz was released and when this universe is set, is considered the best year ever for Hollywood films. We had to go there. And we kind of love saying this was an a/u of an a/u. So confusing.