A/N: This is another songfic dedicated to my favorite Gundam SEED couple, Murrue Ramius and Mwu la Fllaga. The song is Janet Jackson's AGAIN. I'm not quite sure if I'm still good at this.. after all, it's been so long since I wrote a fic. Anyway, without any further ado, here are my last words.. I don't own Gundam SEED or the featured song, and I don't have any affiliations with their respective owners whatsoever. It's just a fanfiction of a fan who had one too many choco vodkas to drink... "v
Hey, Murrue... do you still love me?
"God knows I do love you again.."
Murrue x Mwu
Murrue took another sip from her shandy. She felt quite stupid for still being outside at the city park despite the fact that it was already ten in the evening, and it was dreadfully cold. She should be home now, getting ready for bed, or watching her favorite late-night TV show, or doing anything else more productive and sensible than waiting for someone she thought she'd never see again.
I can't even recall why I'm still here... she thought to herself with a small chuckle. After thinking about it, she did remember. Earlier that afternoon, she received a phone call from her good friend Natarle who gave a very appalling news. Mwu la Fllaga was back in town. Yes, after disappearing for two long years, the man she loved so has returned. And as if that wasn't enough for a shock, he wanted to meet with her later that night. And so, there she was, waiting for him at the city park, at the appointed time.
She heaved a sigh, "I guess you still can make a fool out of me, Mwu."
The moment his name came out of her lips, memories of the times they spent together flooded back to Murrue. How they met at work. How they became friends, and gradually lovers. Murrue remembered even the way Mwu stole a kiss from her for the first time. She started remembering every single thing she knew about him. This gave Murrue the feeling of light-headedness and quite ironically, warmth. It was as though she was getting drunk of his memories.
She shook her head vigorously, wanting to be sober. Come on, Murrue, wake up! He left without saying anything! He left you crying all alone! You shouldn't be thinking of your past with him! she said to herself, over and over. A few months after Mwu went AWOL, Murrue resolved to forget about him. If he was able to to leave her just like that, then it meant that she didn't really matter to him. And she vowed never ever to let herself remember him.
But he did have his reasons... a voice at the back of her head whispered to her. Yes, Mwu must have had a reason why he left. He was a good person, after all. And he wouldn't hurt her, intentionally, even though he had high aspirations. But for all that was good and holy, why didn't he say goodbye? If only he did, then Murrue wouldn't have had to hurt so much. She would understand. But Mwu had to let his impulsiveness take over, and so, one day, he was there, the next day, he was gone.
I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind...
How can I be strong? I've asked myself
Time and time I've said,
That I'll never fall in love with you again...
A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did...
I've been through so much just trying to get over him... I can't throw all of that away just because he's back, Murrue kept saying to herself. All the tears she cried. All the promises he didn't keep. All the hopes he shattered. No, she just can't forgive him just like that. She can't forgive him that easily. Mwu does not have the slightest idea how hard it had been for her.
Shaking her head even more vigorously, Murrue struggled to fight away the thoughts of reconciling with her former lover. She took another sip on her shandy, for courage. After a few minutes, she felt warm and fuzzy inside. Yeah, kind of like that feeling you get when you're in love. Murrue raised the can to her eye level and shook it, it was already empty. Well, at least you won't be able to hurt me, would you? she said to it. Unlike that other jerk... he gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling too, but he left me...
Realizing that she had been talking to an empty shandy can, Murrue chuckled at herself, "Look at yourself, Murrue... You're talking to inanimate objects. The fool you are..."
"So this is what you've been doing for the past two years, Murrue?" a male voice said from behind.
Murrue needn't look to see who it was, she knew who it was all too well. "Late, as usual... I see you haven't changed," she said, chuckling. Murrue turned around, and she wasn't mistaken. It was Mwu, with the same roguish grin and the same cocky remark. Yes, he was the same man she loved from before.
"That's partly true," he said, scratching the back of his head. "But it never crossed my mind that I'd find you like this."
Murrue was feeling partly light-headed. Inside her head she was wondering if she had been drunk of the shandy, or of thinking about him too much. Nonetheless, she was still able to say, "Just get to the point, Mwu... it's getting late."
The blond fell silent. Clearly, that wasn't the reply he'd have expected from her. After a few minutes of dumbness, he finally said, "I wanted to say sorry."
Murrue couldn't believe what she just heard, "What was that?"
Mwu heaved a sigh, "I said I was sorry... Sorry for leaving you just like that."
The brunette laughed. She struggled to get up from leaning on the guardrail, "And you dragged me all the way here just for that?! You had to meet up with me at this late hour just to apologize?! The nerve!"
Murrue was now wobbling her way to Mwu, tears welling up her eyes. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted him too feel the pain she felt all those years. However, due to the fact that she had been drinking, she was in the least condition to do so. She couldn't even walk straight to him. "You left without even telling me! You left me hanging on to your promises! And now you're going to apologize, expecting me to forgive you?!"
She was losing her balance, not to mention her composure. Murrue was about to fall flat on the ground, but luckily, Mwu was able to catch her just in time. Mwu held her up, enveloping her in his arms.
"How dare you? How dare you?" she finally broke down in tears, hitting his chest. "You have no idea how it hurt!"
Mwu held her closer still, "I know, I know. And for that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you..."
"Since you left, I didn't know what to do, or how to think," Murrue continued to blurt out. "I loved you... I loved you so much."
He cupped her chin, and lowered his face. He stared at her marigold eyes, filled with tears. Yes, those marigold orbs that, despite having taints of pain and anger, still reflected him. Mwu caught her lips, and kissed them.
I come from a place that hurts,
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again...
Making love to you felt so good and
Oh so right...
So here we are alone again,
Didn't think I'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss...
The two found themselves naked lying in bed together a hotel room, their clothes scattered all over the floor. Everything else that happened in between was a vague vision; a blur. Mwu had been staring at Murrue, watching her intently as she slowly opened her eyes to wake up. Indeed, two years may have passed, but the way she enchants all of his senses remained.
Murrue blinked her eyes repeatedly, and her vision became clearer and clearer. When she finally regained focus, she found herself next to Mwu. She was a bit surprised at first, and she gazed at him.
"Hey, Beautiful," Mwu grinned. "Why, still skeptic if I'm real or not?"
"It took me more than a year just to get myself back on my feet," Murrue leaned closer to him. "And when I was finally able to shove you off my mind, I felt happy. I said, 'finally, I could start over,' and I vowed never to let myself think about you ever again."
Mwu made a puppy face, pouting his lips jokingly, "Ouch, that hurts. So you really wanted to forget about me, huh?"
Murrue nodded slowly, "Yes. I wanted you out of my life..."
"But it's not too late to make you remember me, is it?" he smiled, holding out his hand to reach hers. When their hands finally met, their fingers laced in perfectly and tight.
Murrue slightly backed away, turning her head to another direction, avoiding his eyes. He was at it again, saying things that make her weak. And though years have passed since she last heard him talk that way, his words still have the same effect on her. "Don't say that... if you intend to leave me again," she said quietly.
"Hey, Murrue..." he called to her.
Involuntarily, she turned her head to his direction, responding to his call.
"I still love you, I always have and I always will. And so now I'm asking you, do you still love me?" he asked her in a more serious tone, his gaze transfixed on her.
I've come too close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
Never fall again...
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me, then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again...
Murrue fell silent to think. Her mind was going around in circles, but she couldn't find the answers to her questions. A part of her brain was telling her to leave him, right then and there, so he'd know how she felt before. But another part of her brain, together with her heart, was telling her that she loves Mwu so much, and that she couldn't stand to be apart from him for another minute ever again.
"I'm scared..." she said quietly.
Mwu placed an arm around her, "Don't be..."
His last two words hanged upon the silence of the room, reverberating, all the way to her ears, and to her heart. Mwu never failed to make her believe everything he says. He never failed to shatter her defenses, and expose the real Murrue, who wasn't all that strong nor head-steady. Yes, by his mere touches and words, Murrue would succumb to him.
"Just hold me, please..." she said to him. "And don't ever let me go... "
He, in turn, did so. He held her close to his heart, that Murrue could even hear his heart beating.
"Your words... everything you tell me, I believe them, as I did before."
Mwu wrapped her in a warm embrace once more, "So if I tell you that I love you, would you believe me?"
"Yes, I will..." she replied. "and God knows I do love you again..."
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again...
-FIN-
Blanchie's Notes::
Kyaa I've finished another fic! It took me six hours to do this, mind you. And should you find it less impressive than those I've made in the past, I'm sorry. I'm actually not myself lately. v This fic was made of the cheesy lines I've said and heard in the past, of the depression I've felt, and of the alcohol currently in my head. Yeah.. I know shandy doesn't that much alcohol content (it probably has none at all), but hey, it's fiction. What's more, beer would seem unsuitable for Murrue, right?
Lastly, yes, they did 'it' in the hotel room... this is to compensate for Murrue doing 'it' with Andrew, thus, resulting to Baby Mwu (see my other fic, What If, for details). Anyway, if you've any feedback, suggestions, catastrophic reactions, please tell me.
Thanks for taking time and reading my fic! Hope to hear from you guys hugs readers
Love&Peace
