The Sermon

Chapter One

For Mother Jane Rizzoli-Isles preaching was her least favorite task, because it brought all of her internal anxieties and feelings of inadequacy to the surface and left her feeling like an emotional wreck. She didn't mind delivering the homily for the Saturday evening service in the chapel or the Sunday morning eight o'clock spoken Eucharist, for these were both small intimate affairs. Whereas being the homilist at the ten o'clock sung Eucharist, the main service of the morning was anything but a small affair with its five hundred people on average in attendance. Jane had never considered herself a good public speaker and in the past would do everything within her power to avoid the experience of having to stand in front of a crowd and give a speech. The fact was it had less to do with her skill as a public speaker than with her personal fear of being vulnerable. This became self evident as she started studying homiletics in seminary and actually began preaching, first in the seminary chapel and later as a deacon at Saint Bridget's. By the time she arrived at Saint Andrew's Mother Jane had literally delivered dozens of sermons, but still every time Canon Wells reminded her that she was the homilist for the next week the feeling was the same, terror. The funny thing was that people actually enjoyed Mother Jane's homilies. They were well constructed and showed that she spent a lot of time considering the readings for the day and were usually very topical to there lives. Now when Canon Wells preached he enjoyed explaining theological concepts and very intricate points of doctrine, but Jane focused on making the scriptures relevant for today. This doesn't mean that Jane didn't know her theology and doctrines and that she wouldn't occasionally delve into a discussion of the Trinity, yet Jane didn't relish the heady theological preaching of Canon Wells which seemed more an academic exercise than a practical unpacking of the scriptures. No for Jane her task was simple, explaining the scriptures in a way that spoke to the people here and now.

Jane cracked open her Bible to the gospel reading for the coming Sunday as she sipped her tea. She loved early Monday mornings like this, she had just finished the morning office and her workout and now she was going to figure out the topic and theme for her sermon. The plush sofa was covered with Jane's notes and several well worn commentaries that she had since seminary days. Jane was beginning to struggle with several temperamental phrases in ancient Greek when she heard Maura wake up and go into Alice's nursery. Maura came down a few minutes later "She wasn't hungry, so you'll have to feed her later." Jane set down her tea and cleared off a space for Maura on the sofa. "Don't worry Maura, I'll feed her before I drop her off at Ma's." Maura sat down and looked at Jane's notes and stack of bible commentaries, and her well worn English/Greek parallel Bible. She was impressed that Jane would take the time to work through her own translation of the scriptures she was preaching on. Even as a detective Jane was all about understanding people and this was no different, she was giving a voice to the author's of these ancient texts. "Gee, Jane it just occurred to me you're still a detective." Jane looked at Maura to determine if she was being serious or joking, and unclear after studying her face "Well if I'm still a detective, than this morning I must be Inspector Clouseau, because I have been looking at these readings for over an hour and I've got nothing." Maura laughed " can I see?" Jane handed her a copy of the lectionary readings and Maura began to study them and winced. " So, you can't change the readings? Because these are really depressing." Jane smiled at the suggestion, but as a lectionary based church she couldn't change the readings for Sunday, the same readings were to be used in all Episcopal Churches for that Sunday and that included Saint Andrew's. "No, unfortunately." Maura pouted as she went back to reading "Lamentations, that sounds promising!" Jane did her best shocked face "I'm shocked, the coroner who likes Lamentations, why am I not surprised?" Maura smiled as she stood up "are you ready for breakfast?" Jane stood up and dramatically raised her hand to her brow"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end." Maura laughed "Jane what are you doing? "I'm lamenting Maura, I'm lamenting." Maura continued to laugh at Jane's laments as she set the table. "Well bring your laments to the table or your breakfast will get cold."

Jane finished getting dressed, her Monday's off, were that one day of the week when a pair of jeans and an oversized sweatshirt were the welcomed uniform of the day. Jane took the bottle that Maura left for Alice and went to feed her before the short drive over to Angela's. Alice was very sleepy when Jane walked into the nursery and didn't rouse to the sound of her voice. Jane sat down next to her crib and readied the bottle, but as she reached into the crib to pick her up she noticed that Alice felt hot to the touch and her breath seemed laboured. Jane instantly realized that something was wrong with Alice. She reached for her phone and tried calling Maura, but it went to voice mail, pausing for a moment she looked through her contact list for Maura's sister, Cailin's phone number.

Cailin was coming on shift at Boston Children's Hospital in the Pediatric ICU where she was completing her second year of pediatric residency. She was in the residents on-call room and had just changed into her scrubs when she heard her phone's distinctive ringtone for Jane (Salve Regina from Sister Act). Cailin answered the phone and even before she could say hello she heard a frantic Jane " Cailin, something is wrong with Alice! She won't wake up and something is wrong with her breathing..." Cailin interjected "Jane is she running a fever?" Jane felt Alice "I think so." Cailin pulled on her lab coat "Jane, how fast can you get here? I'll meet you in the Emergency Department, just have me paged as soon as you get here." Jane quickly tried calling Maura again, but there still was no answer, so she left a voicemail telling her she was taking Alice to the emergency room. Jane hadn't driven this fast in years, but her high speed driving skills returned to her in an instant. Her Mini-Cooper was nimble and easily negotiated the narrow Boston streets. As she rounded the corner she noticed Alice wasn't moving and it looked like her lips were turning blue. Jane gunned the engine and as the tachometer almost red lined she shifted into fourth gear. Jane saw her goal approaching as the hospital entrance was at the end of the block. She dialed Cailin again "oh my God, she's not breathing!" Cailin was already in the Emergency Department "Jane, drive right up to the ambulance entrance!" Jane could hear Cailin yell to someone "call a pediatric emergency, I need a code team stat!" Jane screeched the car to a halt and lifted Alice's now limp body from her car seat and ran into the emergency room entrance. Cailin ran to her "give her to me! Give her to me now!" By now Jane was in tears "my baby, my baby, she's not breathing!" Cailin grabbed Alice from Jane's arms and began performing infant CPR as she ran toward a treatment room. Several nurses followed Cailin into the room and left Jane standing alone, in the hall. As Jane looked at the door the words of the psalm she had been reading but an hour before flooded into her mind "Out of the depths I cry to you, OH LORD." She fell to her knees, sobbing.

Jane sobbed for what seemed like an eternity, alone in her wrenching fear and sadness, until she felt a quiet human presence kneel down beside her. "Miss?" Jane looked over toward the voice, but her eyes were glazed and seemed to stare of towards a distant horizon. "My name is Father Nathaniel Walton, and I'm the hospital chaplain. Here, let me help you up, would you like to come with me? There is a consultation room down at the end of the hall, it's more private, and..." Jane hugged herself and shook her head "No, I can't leave my baby. She needs me, why can't I see her?" Father Walton sat down beside her "Okay, well I'll stay here with you if you'd like some company?" Jane just nodded. "What's her name?" Jane looked into the sympathetic eyes that were looking back at her. "Alice" the chaplain paused for a moment "she has a beautiful name, is it a family name?" Jane smiled for a very brief moment as a flash of a happier memory passed through her consciousness " no, actually my partner Maura, she suggested it, and I fell in love with it." He took in the information, "does Maura know you're here?" Jane realized that some time had passed and she still hadn't heard from Maura. " I left a voicemail when we were leaving to come, but she hasn't called back yet." The chaplain produced a handheld phone "would you like to try calling her again?" Jane nodded "She's probably still in her morning staff meeting, she's the chief coroner for the Commonwealth, Dr. Maura Isles." Father Walton hit the speed dial button for the coroner's office "Well I guess it's time to pull some rank and pull her out of her meeting."

After a long silence, the chaplain stood up "well one of the few perks you get as a hospital chaplain, is they give you one of these badges. I think it's time to use it, I'm going to find out what's going on, and see if I can get a doctor to come out and speak with us." As the chaplain went into the treatment room Jane slipped out her phone and sent a text to her mother. As she slipped her phone into her purse she began to cry again. Father Walton used well practiced skill to blow through the road blocks put up by the coroner's office to protect Maura from unsolicited calls, but the anguish in Maura's voice was hard for Jane to hear. She couldn't wait for her to get here, but at the same time how could she face her? What would Maura say to her? Jane knew this was her fault, she was entrusted with the care of their precious child and now, what, is she dying? "Jane?" She heard the chaplain as he walked down the hall towards her. "Jane, come with me, Dr. Martin wants to talk to you and explain what's going on."

Cailin was standing by the stretcher in the center of the examination room, she noticed a nurse was reading some equipment off to the side, and of course Alice was laying on the stretcher. The chaplain walked in with Jane and positioned himself to be able to catch her if she fainted. "Jane, her heart stopped and she wasn't breathing, but she responded to infant CPR and now she's breathing on her own, but she's very sick. I am suspecting that it is spinal meningitis, but to confirm I need to perform a test." Jane just nodded, as Cailin took out a grease pen and started sketching on the sheet that Alice lay on. "In order to confirm the diagnosis I need a sample of the fluid that surrounds the spinal column by performing a lumbar puncture which is commonly called a spinal tap." She quickly sketched the spine and showed how she would insert the needle. "Jane do I have your permission? We don't have time to wait for Maura, if it's bacterial I need to start treating immediately if she's to have any hope of survival." Jane nodded "You h a vee my permission, do what you need to do. I trust you." Jane and Father Walton stood outside the examination room, the nervous energy was palpable, Alice's screams filled the air as Cailin inserted the long needle into her spine. Jane slipped her rosary beads from her pocket and began to allow the beads to slip through her shaking fingers. Father Walton took his rosary out of his jacket pocket and joined Jane in reciting the ancient prayers. Alice continued to scream and Jane rushed toward the door. The chaplain stepped between her and the door "Jane, you can't go in yet. Come pray with me."

Maura came around the corner being led by a unit clerk, she immediately saw a devastated Jane standing in the hall with the chaplain and feared the worst. She immediately ran to Jane and hugged her "Is she..." Jane hugged her back "Cailin thinks it's spinal meningitis, she just did a lumbar puncture." Maura was surprised to hear that her younger sister was treating her daughter, but she concurred with her diagnosis. Cailin walked out of the examination room to find Jane. She was happy to her sister there as well. "Jane, Maura, I have the test results, it is bacterial spinal meningitis, we're going to admit Alice to the pediatric ICU.