Impossible

Dakota's POV

It was our second time being invited on stage for a 'Cherry Bomb' performance. Except this time Kris and I were with Taylor, Robert, and Nikki. I felt Kristen's hand over my shoulder, gripping me tight. It was blissful. I looked up at her admiringly, just to see her green eyes looking shyly out into the crowd of screaming fans. Her eyes were wide, in great appreciation of the audience and everything in her life. I loved that about her. Then, she looked back at me as if she had read my mind, with a little smile. I gulped, and turned away. My palm was on her lower back, and my both hands were already all sweaty from just being around her. I did have feelings, more than friendship, for this girl. And she didn't even know it. I hope. I try my best to hide it, because it's probably better that way. I moved my hand upwards, afraid that Kristen would pick up.

"D," Kristen whispered into my hair. I instantly got chills down my spine, closing my eyes in satisfaction as the tingle hit the back of my head. "There's someone who looks like Justin Bieber in the third row… Poor girl!" Kristen laughed, pushing her head into the crook of my neck. I laughed, absentmindedly. The feeling of her breath against my neck made me light headed. Oh God, I had to discuss this with someone. And I know just the person…

"Thank you!" I waved into the crowd, to distract myself with something to do. "Cherie, Joan!" I extended my arms to them, and gave them both a hug. Without even thinking about anything else, I found a way to discretely creep off stage. I stood by the curtains and waited for Cherie to walk off stage with a grin clearly showing her appreciation for still being able to perform with Joan. I heard the noise of my Breaking Dawn cast mates approaching, and quickly hid away from them in a group of people. They passed right by me, talking and laughing loudly. Rob pushed Kristen on purpose, causing her to trip onto Nikki who burst out laughing. I rolled my eyes, waiting for them to leave. When they went into a room down the hall, I searching for Cherie again. I saw her door shut. I licked my lips, and made my way over.

"Cherie?" I mumbled to the door, feeling increasingly nervous.

"Yes?" Cherie answered, unable to identify my shaky voice. I cleared my throat, trying to speak in my normal voice again.

"It's D, I need to talk to you." I bit at my nails, and heard a scramble from within the backstage room.

"Dakota!" The door swung open, and Cherie Currie's merry face appeared at the doorway. I sighed in relief. "How did you like the – " I didn't wait for her to finish, and walked right past Cherie and into her room, taking Cherie's arm. "Wow, what is it, sweetie?" Cherie asked the second she had closed the door.

"I'm having some trouble…" I said hastily, while my older female friend sat down. Cherie frowned. "With relationships." I added last minute. Cherie nodded slowly, sitting forward, most likely intrigued that I would ever even discuss this with her. Most people know that I could be very secretive when this type of topic was being discussed. I honestly preferred it that way, but, I had no choice this time. "I like someone, and I think this someone likes me… We see each other almost everyday, our families are really close, we have the same friends that love us, we do everything together, but… We can't be together. No matter what." I took a deep breath, after completely my little story. Cherie giggled slightly, sipping from her bottle of water. Which was most likely vodka, knowing Cherie. Cherie turned to me, ready to speak.

"Dakota, that doesn't make sense! You like someone who might just like you back, and you can't be together? What's the problemo?" Cherie asked, I sighed, looking anywhere but at Cherie. There was an intense lump in my throat as 'her' name crawled its' way up my throat.

"It's Kristen." I breathed, shutting my teary eyes.

"Kristen?" Cherie repeated, in a low voice.

"Stewart." I finished, with a gulp. Still refusing to open my eyes, even if I knew how silly it was.

"Kristen Stewa – oh!" Cherie's jaw dropped in sudden realization.

"Yeah.." I nodded, ashamed. Suddenly, I felt Cherie's comforting hand on my knee.

"That's fantastic, Dakota!" Cherie said. I raised an eyebrow, and opened my eyes to meet Cherie's.

"What?"

"That's adorable! It really is!" Cherie wasn't joking, she was one hundred percent serious. After all, she had 'been with' Joan freaking Jett for crying out loud.

"No, it's not. This is terrible." I replied. I'll take my chances and just say that I probably looked gutted. "This is Kristen Stewart we're talking about here. Kristen fucking Stewart, Cherie! Fuck…" I cursed under my breath, looking up at the light, hoping it would blind me so I wouldn't need to worry about Kristen seeing the way I looked at her. Cherie relaxed, knowing how it felt to be me in this situation. "She's the 'it' girl!" I ran my hand through my blond hair, and went right for Cherie's counter in her walk-in-closet where I found several varieties of shots.

"Feel free." Cherie said to me, watching me from the mirror. See, it may not have been like me to swear, but it was like me to drink, only with Cherie though. I was no longer crying, I was just angry at myself. So very, intensely angry.

"I tried so hard to fight it." I took one shot, and shut my eyes as I swallowed, feeling a burn down my throat. Whiskey, that was most likely Jack Daniels, like the half of the other shots on the table. For me, alcohol goes straight through my system since I'm young… But of course, it hits me like a minute later. "But she's the Stewart. The one girl taking over the world via film adaptations of stupid glittering vampires, bulky werewolves, and…" I took another shot. Whiskey, again. "I don't know what to do anymore, Cherie!" I pleaded, as silence took over the room.

"Aren't you in that film?" Cherie mumbled thoughtfully. I rolled my eyes and waited for time to pass. I wanted to make this Kristen crush go away, so I decided I should probably just drink a bit more. I'd rather get a headache in the morning, than have to think about Kristen. Shot three, vodka. "I'm so bad at hiding it, and I want it to go away." I said, my sentence becoming a slur of words. Cherie nodded understandingly, and looked back at me.

"I know this sounds crazy, because you're just sixteen, but anything's possible…" She sighed. I rolled my eyes at her again. "Okay, here goes… Dakota, I think you're in love with Kristen."

"I am not in love!" I lied about the one girl in my life who made me feel good about myself. I lied about the one girl who made me nervous. The one girl I actually, really, truly was head over heels for. Cherie's eyes became wide now. "Kristen's just different… I've never felt like this for anyone before… And, I've been under stress from school lately, and it makes me feel really upset. Kristen's just, like, an experiment." I tripped over myself, not even understanding a single word I was saying to Cherie. "Kristen Stewart… Kristen fucking Stewart. K fucking Stew. Kristen, Kristen, Kristen!" I groaned, taking another shot of vodka. I had done most of the shots, but I didn't like the other ones. So I grabbed both the vodka and the whiskey bottles from Cherie's counter. My head was beginning to hurt, but I couldn't care less. "She's everywhere! Her name! Her nickname! Seriously! K Stew? K Stew – "

" – K stew, in the building!" Kristen, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and Nikki Reed burst in the room. I pretended that they weren't there, and poured some vodka into a shot glass. I set the vodka down, and looked at the shot. The tempting full glass shot.

"Nice entry, loser." Nikki joked, pushing Kristen on the head for fun. Kristen smirked. Oh Lord, that was beautiful smirk. I blinked, shaking my head. Dakota, you've out done yourself, my dear.

"Cherie, you were great out there!" Rob complimented, shaking Cherie's hand. "I'm Robert Pattinson." He smiled at her. Be that way then, Rob. Why don't we all just be happy campers, right? Why not?

"No introduction needed!" Cherie said to him, then shaking Taylor and Nikki's hand. Robert turned and smiled at Kristen. She smiled back. Urgh. Fuck my life. I placed the shot to my lips. This would be shot four, I think… Or five. Or three. Wait, what…? I put the shot back down, frowning my cast members.

"You know, I think 'Cherrybomb' is great but 'Dead End Justice' is definitely my favorite song by The Runaways!" Taylor said. I watched him for a moment, then spyed my shot again. Oooh! My precious vodka shot. Bottoms up! While I drank, I heard the sound of mutual agreement from inside the room, and some laughter. Ew. They're all so fucking happy! Gross! As I downed the shot, I groaned, pissed off at their happiness and my own discontent.

"Dakota?" Came a voice. Ooohh, uh-oh, bottoms down! I put the glass shot on the table, and stumbled out of Cherie's walk-in-closet. It had been Nikki who spoke. And, oh, I was still holding the bottle of whiskey.

"Mazel tov!" I laughed loudly and drunkenly. I thrust the bottle into her hands, and she blinked. "Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight!" I sang, skipping to the door.

"Excuse me!" Rob put a hand out, stopping me. "Dakota, have you been drinking?" Rob asked. I didn't reply, spinning slightly on the spot. I grabbed the bottle again from Nikki's delicate hands.

"Actually can I have this back?" I said to her, with a hiccup. "Thank you, honey." I winked at her. Rob decided to piss me off more, by asking me that same question, again.

"I said: Dakota, have you been drinking?" Rob asked.

"Go fuck yourself! With something hard and sand-papery!" I yelled at him. I actually got that from a song. I find it hilarious, but I was too dizzy to laugh.

"W-what..?" Kristen stammered, trying her best not to laugh. Oh, her stammer. It was adorable, and it made me want to smile. "Did she just say that?"

"Cherie, did you allow her to drink?" Rob asked Cherie, who shrugged, lighting a cigarette. Indoors. "Dakota, you have to stop." Rob turned to me. I put the whiskey down on a cabinet by the door.

"Robert, darling!" I laughed. He looked around confused. "Rob you play a vegetarian, sparkly fairy-like, glittery vampire, with honey colored eyes! And you always act so innocent as if you don't know girls and boys all over the world stare at your photos obsessively every night! Which is disgusting!" I exclaimed, waving my hands about. Robert's face distorted, and he looked highly offended. Rob, Nikki, Taylor and Cherie all looked taken aback. Well, actually Cherie didn't care, but she was still looking at me questioningly. Kristen was… Kristen was laughing. Silently, but she was still laughing. One word, eight letters, four syllables: adorable.

"Dakota is fucking awesome." Kristen said through laughs, struggling to regain her balance.

"I don't act innocent, I'm just being myself." Rob shrugged, pulling a cute face. Yeah. No. Not at all! Liar.

"Rob, you have a face that says: I have a British accent which instantly makes me a sex icon, when I act angry in films, I honestly look like Megan Fox is making me orgasm!" I spat, walking by him like I was setting down my territory. Burn. Mega burn.

"Calm down, Dakota." Taylor said softly, taking the whiskey from the top of the cabinet. I snatched it from him.

"And, Megan Fox looks disgusting!" I added, slapping Nikki's hand away when she tried to reach out to me.

"Dakota, please calm down." Taylor said again.

"Why don't you 'calm down' and fuck me sideways while you're at it!" I sneered. Kristen burst out laughing and almost fell to the floor.

"It's just the alcohol, guys…" Nikki said to her friends. Who nodded, as if they were trying to erase everything I had just said from their heads.


Kristen's POV

"Dude, Joan?" I knocked three times on Joan's door. I was cracking my knuckles painfully, because I was so nervous. I laughed stupidly to myself for a moment, thinking about how hilarious Dakota was about fifteen minutes ago. We had to send her home, seeing as alcohol had affected her so bad since she was still young. Joan's door opened, and she let me inside her room. She knew what this was about, somehow. She just knew. Because the first thing she said when the door closed, was,

"I see the way you look at Dakota." And I froze.

"What are you talking about? I asked, trying to remove my hands from my pockets, but failing miserable. I frowned down at them, and jerked them out painfully.

"You love her!" She accused, almost in laughter.

"No!" I squeaked, my voice breaking.

"You so do!" She crossed her arms.

"No, I don't!" I grunted, hitting her arm.

"You do!" She pushed my shoulder. I gave in.

"Yeah, I know… I really, fucking do!" I whined, falling into a chair behind me. "I love her…"

"Tell her!" Joan sat by me, looking at me as if it were so easy. I shook my head, flipping my hood over. "Why not?" Joan asked in a scolding tone. I shook my head again, being stupid. But, stupid was part of who I am. "After you sent Dakota home just now, Cherie told me that Dakota has feelings for you." This made me look up at her, shocked.

"For serious?" I asked her, leaned forward a bit in my seat. Joan nodded. "W-what kind of feelings?" I stammered, so eager to know I thought I could pee my pants.

"I'm not sure… Something about being upset about school, and you're some experiment or something…" Joan mumbled, trying to remember what Cherie had told her. Wait… An experiment? Me? But, I don't want to be an experiment. "But, she has feelings for you! Isn't that great? You should ask her out!" Joan nudged me, breaking my train of thoughts. Again, I shook my head. "Oh, what now?"

"I don't want to be an experiment, Joan." I grumbled. Joan shrugged, agreeing with me. "I don't want to be used like some shitty, cheap-ass car giving out free trials and test runs! I don't want to be that, Joan! I can't!" I stood up, furious that Dakota would ever dare say that about me. I walked to the door. God, I need to rest, man.

"Well, you love her, don't you?" Joan asked as I was about to rudely leave her there in her lonesome dressing room. I stopped, shutting my eyes tightly. In emotional pain. I licked my lips, scared. So scared, so afraid. Afraid of how I felt.

"Yeah… I love her so much…" I whispered, letting two or three hot tears leak through my tears ducts and down my soft, pink cheeks.

"If you love her, then go get her. Take your time if you want, but that'll only stretch out your pain. Believe me, it will." Joan said to me, as some soft music began planning from the dressing room next to hers. I nodded, feeling a slight bit warmer in my chest. "Now go and plan some spontaneous way of confessing your love to her and make Mama Jett proud!" Joan laughed, pushing me out of her room. I put a hand back in my pocket, strutting down the hall. "We've got to see this on TV, newspapers, magazines, billboards!" Joan called after me.

"Billboards?" I laughed, running my hand through my hair.

"Just the two of you alone, could change how people few the LGBTQ community! You could be making history, Kristen, with fame like yours and hers!" I heard her door close, and I halted in the hall. I looked back at her closed dressing room, then at the exit door. Fuck, she has a point.


A/N: Reviews are much appreciated! Stay updated!