Disclaimer: I don't own Alexander and other related characters, okay?

Uncertainty Beyond

This grand and beautiful palace belongs to the woman to whom my beloved shall be wed, on this very night.

I cannot deny how attractively elegant this palace is to me, with its large sprawling halls, gold gilded doors and its balconies gracefully jutting out into the air. I stand on one such balcony right now, staring out at the tall, russet colored trees, fumbling with something in my pocket, grieving, thinking, and struggling with a hope that screams within me, paining me.

At this moment, the space beyond this balcony is terribly inviting, beckoning to me as the balmy atmosphere appeals to my senses, tempting me to be as one of those leaves falling from those trees, to be engulfed by the warmth of the wind and to be able to feel its warmth surge through my body.

The warmth…how my body longs for it. But no. I must put away such thoughts and ignore the bewildering beauty of it all for I know that it is not real. It cannot be real. It is tempting, relieving, it shall give me release for a while but as I fall, the wind that I expect to soothe my body will freeze it instead, revealing to me a future, dark and unsure, tainted with nothing of Alexander within them. I resent the fact that he is getting married but I resent the idea of never seeing him again even more.

The warmth that Alexander is able to give me… nothing can exceed that. The burning sensation when he touches my skin, the heat of his kisses on my lips, the passion which we both share when we are together, making love and greatest of all is that which I see when he looks at me, his eyes piercing into me as he tells to me his vows of love… It is that warmth which I live for.

No one can keep anything too great for them…so evident in the Iliad…so evident now. Because tonight, someone else has the right to claim that warmth and I shall be cheering in sadness, forcing myself to let go of the only thing which I have tried to keep to myself for so long, desperately clinging to it, only to give it up.

But that is not all that I shall do. I will not allow it to be all, for before that dreadful thing happens, I shall give him this ring.

Tonight, this ring will no longer show the gleam and brilliance it possesses under the flare of the sun but it will be enough for he will wear it, bearing the proof that he was mine ever before he was hers.

Even so, I am anxious and my heart cries out for this night to come because of the uncertainty that it taunts me with, bringing to me both fear and excitement, simultaneously trying to take hold of my body. Yes, I am sure that he will wear it but I am unsure of the meaning which the ring will reveal to behold. It may be a symbol of the finality of our love. And to this idea I tremble in pain, but I hope and oh please let it be so, that this ring will be the symbol of our continuing love unhindered, unbarred by the vows of marriage.

But then again, maybe I am asking too much… and perhaps I was never meant to have him at all. But I know----! No, I do not know but I shall, tonight.

P—p—please review…please. Thank you and thank you for reading.