Until Everything Feels Right Again
Summary: Post-7x03, "Clear and Present Danger." Every morning since the hospital, Castle's needed to change the subject. This morning they discuss invisibility suits and superheroes.
When Rick woke up that morning, it was because of Kate's hand on his bare chest. He slowly opened his eyes and kissed her arm, smiling at her relieved expression. "Good morning," he said, his hand still over hers. "Last night was...beyond description. I've missed you, Kate."
It was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes darkened as she slid her hand from his, turning around to stare at the ceiling. "I missed you too," she whispered. "For two months, Rick. All I could think about was missing you." She closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again. "Every morning since the hospital, I've had this irrational panic that you won't be there when I look at your side of the bed."
Rick leaned back on his pillow, unsure how to reassure her. An "I'm sorry" would sound trite, meaningless, a defense you use when all others fail – especially since he didn't actually do anything. He hated himself for causing her pain, but the tapes proved that he didn't do this of his own free will. What would he apologize for? Instead, he decided that honesty would work best here. "Every morning since the hospital, I keep thinking I'll remember." She glanced at him with surprise as he continued. "Like characters on TV. They get amnesia, but then it all comes back to them in an instant."
Snuggling closer to him, Kate put her head on his his shoulder. "How would you feel if that happened? Right here, right now?"
Just the suggestion brought on an overwhelming fear of the unknown. "I have no idea," he confessed. "It would depend on what I remembered." He sighed, wrapping his arms around his fiance and kissing her forehead. What we need is a change of subject, he thought. I don't want a somber morning to ruin a beautiful night. "Hey, you know what I do remember?"
"What you bought me for Valentine's Day?"
Laughing, Rick replied, "Well yes, but I was talking about a dream I had..."
"About your disappearance?" Kate tensed immediately, looking up at him with anxiety on her face. "Babe, if you are getting memories back, we..."
Rick shook her head. "No, not that. This was a good dream."
"Oh." Her smile back in place, she happily rested her head on his shoulder. "Was it about me?"
Smirking, Rick replied, "After last night, it would be impossible to dream about anything else..."
"Good." Pleased by the thought, she kissed his cheek.
Rick didn't want to spoil the moment but continued anyway. "Then I had another dream. I was a superhero and fought bad guys under the cover of invisibility."
Reluctantly pulling away from him, Kate sat up in bed, her arms crossed. "Richard Castle, you are not paying Henry Wright to make you your own invisibility cloak."
"Suit. Invisibility suit."
"What in the world is the difference?"
"An invisibility cloak is what Harry Potter uses to sneak into the Hogwarts library."
She gave him her patented "really, Castle?" glare. If the two of them didn't just have mind-blowing sex, that glare would have been accompanied by her trademark eye-roll. "Fine. You are not paying Henry Wright to make you your own invisibility suit."
"Why not?" he whined, also sitting up in bed. "I have more than enough money to match whatever Wright asks for..." At her raised eyebrow, he amended, "Okay, I have enough money to match whatever he asks for, if I sell a few stocks first. The point is, with that suit, I could become a real-life Batman!"
"Batman wasn't invisible."
"But Batman and I have a lot in common." Ticking off the points on his fingers, Rick argued, "We're both rich. We use expensive technology to fight crime. We have cool cars. We have sidekicks..."
"Excuse me? I will not be your Robin."
"But we're already a crime-fighting duo!" Rick exclaimed. Meanwhile he had to hold back a smile, because he could tell she was starting to enjoy their "fight." Their latest case gave him the perfect conversation topic. "It would be fantastic irony! By day, I'm your sidekick at the precinct. But by night, our roles reverse and we become..."
"Nice try, but we aren't Batman and Robin," she interrupted. "For starters, they're both guys. We have a very different 'dynamic.'"
Rick grinned at her. "Actually, it's often insinuated that Batman and Robin..."
"I beg you not to finish that sentence."
"Okay, so maybe we're not Batman and Robin," Rick conceded. "But I still think it's dangerous to let the government control the invisibility suit's technology. The world needs Captain Inviso to use the suit for the good of mankind."
Swayed by his argument, Kate sighed. "Okay, but leave me out of it."
"You wound me, Kate." Rick pouted, feigning insult. "If I build myself a metaphorical Batcave, you wouldn't want me to tell you?"
"Nope. I wouldn't risk my job by playing second-fiddle to 'The Sheer Specter.'"
Bursting out with laughter, Rick replied, "A little redundant, isn't it?"
"It's better than 'Captain Inviso.'"
"We do need a better name, but the first part stays," Rick insisted. "I was meant to be a 'Captain.'"
Wrinkling her brow in confusion, Kate shrugged it off. "Okay, how about...Captain Clear?"
"Too simple."
"Captain Pellucid?"
"Impressive, save that one for Scrabble," Rick teased. "But it doesn't have a ring to it. How about..." He thought for a moment, putting his arms around Kate again. Then he threw one of his hands in the air, the other still on her shoulders. "Wait, I've got it! Despite my lack of morning coffee, I have managed to create brilliance." She gave him an impatient look but allowed him to finish the outburst at his own pace. He paused for even more dramatic effect before declaring: "The Translucent Tales of Captain Gossamer! Written by world-famous author Richard Castle!"
Kate laughed. "Wait, I thought you were the superhero. Now you're writing a book about him?"
"Of course! Those who can, do, and those who can't...turn it into a New York Times bestseller."
Nodding in agreement, Kate said, "Fine, but Captain Gossamer? I thought 'gossamer' meant 'thin' and 'fragile,' not just transparent."
"That's what makes it funny!" Rick froze for a second and glanced over at her. "Wait, I'm not thin?" Too energized to dwell on it, he resumed his previous thought process. "It's genius, don't you think? If Patterson can write kids' books, so can I. Captain Gossamer will be so much cooler than that 'Middle School' series of his..."
Kate began to get out of bed. "Okay, this is going to take up the whole morning. I'm making coffee."
"And he can drive around in the Ghost Mobile," Rick continued. "Captain Gossamer, not Patterson. Anyway, I call it the Ghost Mobile because he's invisible, so it..."
"...would look like no one was behind the wheel."
"Exactly!" He pulled Kate back to his side, kissing her on her cheek. "How awesome is it that an invisibility suit really exists?"
"Very awesome." She settled against him, hugging him close. Her smile was genuine and reassuring. "I spent two months missing you, and now I miss...this...how we can talk for hours about superheroes, and invisibility suits." Lowering her eyes, she asked, "How long do you think it will be until everything feels right again? When we can wake up in the morning like we used to, without all the...other stuff?" She sighed. "What if we never find out what happened to you?"
Since his return, and the incident in Montreal, Rick had been asking himself those questions. He was afraid of remembering, but he was also afraid of not remembering. Could their lives ever even resemble what they used to be? "We have to practice," he said. "We have to practice waking up together. Each morning we have to wake up, same as always, just grateful to be alive and with each other. If we do that, every day, we'll get better. Sure, we'll still know that things are different, but we will smile and laugh and enjoy the sunrise. Eventually it will be natural. We have to believe that."
She kissed him. "I love you, babe."
"Love you too."
Kate hugged him before getting out of bed, smiling back at him over her shoulder. "We can talk more about Captain Gossamer over coffee."
"Absolutely!" Rick agreed, grateful that she'd changed the subject. "Start thinking of catchphrases! I've already got like five!"
