A/N: I was sad because I've read like all the birdflash fics there are so I decided to write one about wally dying on endgame because I WANTED TO GET EVEN MORE SAD. I suck. I'm Sorry
xxx
You don't want to die. Not yet. There's so much you want to do in your life; you have a girlfriend, you have a job, a house, a dog and you can't be asked to give it all up. It's not fair. You don't want to die, but you will because dying means keeping the world safe at least for a while longer, it means Barry and Iris will have kids and are going to be the most amazing parents ever, it means Bart won't ever get to return to a future where humanity's enslaved and there is no hope or chicken whizzies. You're a superhero and that's what a superhero does, you fight and you fight again and again and until you can't fight anymore because the world will always need saving so, if dying means everyone else gets to live, it's okay.
Except it's really not, but let's not think about that.
While trying not to think about it, you turn your thoughts to Nightwing and, for an entire second, you manage to hate him. You manage to blame him because you were happy, you were retired, then he came and now you're running around as Kid Flash and you're dying because it's the right thing to do and anger is easy. After all, it was all part of his plan, you were all pawns and one can't keep all of the pawns in chess if he wants to win. Sacrifices must be made and you hate him for making them. Or, at least, you try to.
In the end, you get to hate him, but it's for an entirely different reason. You hate him for being right, because he was right and you would have done it anyway, because superheroing isn't something you can quit and deep down you always knew that, but you've always been so comfortable in denial and you can't blame Nightwing for that. Not really.
You were actually planning on apologizing to him when this was all over. Not really apologizing, more like: "hey, I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you, but you're kind of a jerk too so can we get back to being best friends?" But now you'll never get to say it and he will never get to hear it and you know he'll feel guilty, he'll close himself off from the others, and you never wanted to be one of the reasons your friend turns into Batman, you were supposed to be the reason he wouldn'tand you failed. You failed at being a best bro.
Thinking about Nightwing hurts so let's not.
You think about Robin, instead, you think about Dick and you remember blue eyes and a wide smile and how he used to jump from a place to another and make stupid impossible twists in the air look easy and effortless. And it's all very stupid because you knew he was Dick Grayson of the Flying Graysons, you knew he was Robin so of course he would know how to fly, and yet you never stopped being in awe (and a little jealous) of him because it was amazing.
The wind is brushing against your face and as soon as it gets rid of your tears, you forget why you were crying in the first place. You're still running, but you can't feel the floor beneath you, you can't feel your legs or your arms or any kind of hurt. And suddenly dying isn't so bad anymore.
No, scratch that, dying feels a lot like flying and it's amazing.
