Disclaimer: hello, I would just like to inform you all that I am not the genius that is Douglas Adams and am therefore plagiarising his characters and situations…mmmm, plagiarism. As a result of being young and lacking slight intelligence due to my hair colour, I do not own any of Douglas Adams' works and I must say, am rather miffed about it. Now that the obligatory disclaimer is out of the way, on with the story.
Somewhere in the vastness of the alarmingly, heart palpitation inducingly large universe is a question. THE question. The question to this ultimate answer of life, the universe and everything, which as everyone knows is 42. For many millennia, philosophers have argued about the significance of this number and a conclusion was arrived at. 42 is important because a big machine said so. This view is not widely agreed with as philosophers always like to have something to argue about, it gives their lives some sort of….money, but it is infact, true, sort of. There is also another reason; the question gives the true answer a specific meaning and it is out there, it exists but it is something that even the most depressive existentialist philosophers dare not even think about, but something that one insignificant little earthman is destined to find and it will change him forever, this is his story…
Arthur Dent woke up in his little house, the little pub visible outside his little window and his little mind full of little thoughts. It had all been a dream, he was back home, the earth had not been destroyed after all. Clutching his pained head, he decided he would never drink again, then headed downstairs to get his coat on for a trip to the pub. He was surprised to find that his coat wasn't there, he was even more surprised to find that his coat hook wasn't there either, but he was more surprised still to find that neither was his house, his world, he was standing in nothing and as soon as he realised this he began to fall, into the open mouth of his pub landlord while his debt was whispered in his ear.
"£3.42" it said in an eerily drunken slur. The numbers began to rise as Arthur continued to fall.
"£4.42" the numbers went up by a pound each time, interest for his years of drinking without paying up front, Arthur wondered if this punishment was going slightly over the top for £3.42 of debt. The numbers sped up until one was reached which seemed to have some sort of significance.
"£42.42" the voice whispered, Arthur just had time to think of how high the rate of interest was and how he wished he'd have been warned of it before hand and he was swallowed up forever.
* * *
Arthur fell to the floor in a writhing sweat, he was screaming for someone to save him when he realised he was back on the heart of gold with his friend Ford's strangely blue eyes staring over him with something a lot less than interest.
"Good, you're awake" he stated simply, completely ignoring the fact that Arthur had been pathetically screeching for his mother just a moment ago.
"Am I really? I hadn't noticed." Arthur said sarcastically and waited for a reaction. None came so he decided to continue. "I had a terrifying dream just then" still no response. Ford seemed to be concentrating on something intensely interesting in the air, Arthur wondered if there was some kind of elephant dancing ballet on a tricycle in a pink tutu while monkeys did acrobatics on its head that he just couldn't see. He decided to voice this question.
"Ford, there doesn't happen to be some kind of elephant dancing ballet on a tricycle in a pink tutu while monkeys do acrobatics on it's head that I just can't see is there?" Arthur took a deep breath, realising what a long sentence that had been. Ford looked around for a moment before answering.
"No" he answered "or, not that I can see at least, the chances are that if you couldn't see them then neither would I" Arthur thought about this for a moment then decided against it as it made his head hurt.
"Well, why are you here?"
"I'm not entirely sure" said Ford, still wistfully staring into space. "I think it had something to do with... oh what was it now? It's completely slipped my mind" he shook his head in a feeble attempt to regain the reason then gave up and continued to stare. Arthur decided to ignore his strange behaviour, well, stranger that usual anyway and got back into bed. He wasn't there long before Zaphod came rushing in, both heads looking equally worried yet exited about something.
"Ford, come quick, there's an emergency! Did you tell the monkey?"
"I would appreciate you calling me Arthur if you wouldn't mind" Arthur sat up and folded his arms in a very deliberate attempt to look cross.
"Yeah, sure earthman. Ford, come quick. Apeyboy, we're having a trouble with the loss of...of something anyway, I think it was....what was I saying again?" Zaphod's other head tried to continue the sentence while the first stared at the wall.
"What he means is that...oh....oh, I've lost it now too, what have I lost? I think it was probably something impor....oh, look at that view" he stared out of the window.
Arthur got out of bed and began to look for Trillian; maybe she would make some kind of sense. Ford and Zaphod didn't even seem to notice him leaving.
* * *
Well what did you think? There is going to be more but first I want some reviews, and I do appreciate criticism but only constructive ones, please no just nasty remarks, it'll upset me *sniffle*
