From the Cradle to the Grave
The cracks in the dark, violet, sky was blinding. It really didn't help that the sound that accompanied the white-hot cracks were, for lack of a better word, fucking terrifying. To say that the surface was a different kind of beast when compared to the Underground was like saying the giant fireball in the sky was more than likely hot. Papyrus peered out of the window, the flashes of light framing his worried face almost comically. With a grunt, Sans sat up from the disheveled bed and squinted as another flash of light tore at his eye sockets with a vengeance.
"paps, are you al-?" Another clap of a giant's drum silenced the elder brother, his jaw agape with growing concern.
what the hell is this, even?
"I'm fine, brother. I know that this is what humans call a "thunderstorm", but it is still very scary."
Another clap of thunder proved his point and the tall skeleton leaped back instinctively as the first splat of rain slammed against the window and begin to quickly slither down, leaving behind a squiggly trail of water in its hurried wake.
well, yes, a thunderstorm. sure, we'll go with that. while we're at it, though? could we maybe let me get some fucking sleep?
Another rumble told Sans he may as well just give up the argument; in a battle with mother nature, the opposition rarely wins.
"S-Sans?" breathed Papyrus, trying his best to keep cool whilst backing slowly towards the bed.
"yeah, bro?"
The sound that came next made Papyrus whimper and jump into bed with brother. The peal of thunder that shook the house sounded like it had erupted from the Core and was trying to shake the bones of both the house and the brothers.
"I-I think I will sleep in here, tonight." The trailing light did little to hide Sans' dimpled smile.
"no problem, bro. we can do what we used to do when we were younger. remember?"
Papyrus blinked at the smile his brother offered and silently nodded his head as he situated himself into a sitting position.
"hey, remember the first time you made spaghetti?"
If Papyrus had skin, it would be folded into an annoyed crinkle around his nose.
"Yes. Why do you want to remind me of that?"
He laid down and looked at the ceiling, trying his best to ignore the flood of memories that invaded his thoughts.
It was midnight.
The echo of a clock ticking lulled him deeper into thought.
I was very excited about cooking my first pot of spaghetti, unhindered by watchful eyes.
His arms ached when he remembered how hard he was stirring that damn pasta. Even the smell of slightly burnt pasta clung close to him.
Also, I thought Sans was asleep.
The panel of light on the faded living room wall blinked without a care in the world.
What was he doing up there, anyway?
He was just about to yell up to his brother to find out when an angry hiss whisked by his skull.
What?
The hissing stop and in the back of Papyrus' mind, he scoffed at his past self for thinking that was the end of it and then-
Oh. No.
The explosion was sudden and violent and the sound made the floor vibrate and the walls to shake. Ducking seemed to be best course of action and Papyrus was known to be a monster of action. Besides, acting was far better than being a standing target.
Oh?
"ugh." The younger brother looked up in time to see the eldest brother containing the flames within a blue aura. The flames, deprived of oxygen, slowly withered away into weak tendrils of flickering oranges and blues, then nothing at all. Sans' brilliant, blue, eye flashed against the hood of his eye socket and then faded as he turned to face the unfurling form of his terrified little brother.
"are you okay, little bro?"
"Y-yes, I am fine."
Those words were unwittingly spoken in both the past and present. Funny thing about memories: They always seemed to know how to find their way home, no matter how far you threw them.
"um, that's good." Smiled Sans as he looked at his now lucid brother's face.
There were a few beats of silence before Papyrus spoke again.
"Brother, if you hadn't of contained that fire, I have a feeling our house would have been in the way of Undyne's house…"
The shorter skeleton winced at the reminder.
yeah, that more than likely sucked.
"well, i did what i had to, i guess."
Papyrus shifted his head so that his eyes met with his brother's.
"Were you mad at me for that?"
"nah, bro, accidents happen." Sans said with a smile, his eyes closing almost comically. "don't worry about it."
Papyrus' noncommittal grunt was all it took for Sans to realize something was definitely off.
"um, hey, you want to tell me what's wrong?"
The only answer Sans got was Papyrus hooding his eyesockets with a downcast glance.
"Do you think I'm a coward?"
Sans rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on an elbow so that he was now looking down at his brother with a decidedly unhappy expression.
Getting mighty stormy in here.
"No. I don't want to hear you say that again."
Well then, I guess I should have kept that to myself…
Sans rarely used his patented "serious" voice, but when he did, by the stars, Papyrus listened. That voice both fascinated him and scared him. It was beautifully melodious in its fury and the younger brother suspected that Sans had taken that tone quite a few times with other people.
To defend me because…
"I am weak."
Shit, he did not mean for that to leak out into words, but, it was a little too late now.
He blinked up as his brother sucked in some air between his clenched teeth.
"Papyrus. What did I just say?"
The words were deliberately choppy and the rattling of his bones told Papyrus that Sans was furious.
But why? Does Sans really think I didn't know when he changed people's mind to favor me? I'm naïve, yes, but I'm not dumb.
"I know what you said, brother, but…"
Sans clenched his eyes close but said nothing.
"If we're being honest, I know about the times you…swayed people's mind to give me peace. I'm grateful, of course, but it hurts that you didn't trust me enough to let me work things out on my own. You know, as an adult would?"
The words stung and the lanky skeleton winced when he saw the shadow of a tear roll down his older brother's face in a brief flash of light.
"i'm sorry. i…i didn't want to see you hurt. it's not that i didn't believe in you, the opposite, actually, but i..." Sans reached up and gingerly wiped the tear away as he opened his eyes with a sad smile.
"i wanted to protect your kindness, your undying love…your innocence. i had seen your smile crumble to dust and…" Sans was surprised when his voice caught in his throat.
i saw your dust silently fall to the earth like ash from a dying fire. falling snow, dust…taste of blood…
He swallowed again and was about to speak again when Papyrus shook his head and pressed a spindly finger to his brother's teeth to silence him.
"It's okay, Sans, you don't have to say anymore. I know why you did it, but I just wish…I wish I could do the same for you. You hold so much in and only let so much out. Just now you showed me how much you hurt and…Sans." It was the older brother's turn to look downcast as Papyrus rested the rest of his fingers against Sans' cheekbone. A trail of tears chased one another down the eldest brother's face and into the fall from his chin.
"yeah bro?" His question was quiet, subdued.
Let me protect you.
"Let me be there for you. Let me be your strength."
Sans rested shaking fingers against his brother's.
"i…i…"
"Sans, I know you don't have much longer left."
Sans looked up slowly to hid his surprise and heartbreak.
How does he know?
"ho-how? i thought that…"
"You are a terrible liar, brother."
Very rarely was Sans at a loss for words; wonders of wonder, this was one of them.
now this is ironic. sans, find your fucking voice, boy.
The wince was all the younger brother needed to continue.
"That night in the kitchen I saw you sweating and I…" Papyrus paused, his hand still fastened to his brother's face firmly. "I was scared, so I looked at your soul and I…" Sans was hoping with everything he had that the flush he felt wasn't reflecting on the outside.
"I know I should have asked, but I wasn't thinking and… it was… fading and flickering at different spots. It was beautiful and scary at the same time. The sky outside reminded me of how your soul looked that night and…brother. I do love you, you know that, right?"
Sans agreed with a silent nod, still unable to find his voice.
"How much longer, brother?"
"i don't know." whispered Sans, trying hard to steady his voice and failing.
so many times i watched you die, i wanted to be in your place…
The sound of snow being crunched underfoot punctuated every breath he took, his memory pulling him back with as much gravitas as memories hold.
how i always wished for this ending.
A thick ribbon of red drifted from the darkness and fell at his feet, seemingly at the mercy of his mind. He picked it up, cringing at the feeling of dust as it crunched between his finger. He wanted to drop it, to get away from this memory, but…
how i wanted to be with you until we both turned to dust.
He pressed the scarf to his face and inhaled, the smell of magic infused with earth.
the smell of death.
"funny thing, that. i had wished for death when I saw you fall down. it was like a fucking nightmare that i lived repeatedly. i thought that love would save you, that hope would save you…so…i started to pour everything that i was into you every time i saw you. when i would tuck you in, i would give more of myself in hopes that i could hold you together just a bit longer…until we saw the sun a-and the stars."
Tears were falling down Papyrus' face as he gently brushed the palm of his hand against his brother's cheek, feeling the heat radiating from the bones. Papyrus was at a loss for words, if only he had known all of this before….
"Brother…Can't I do something? It can't end like this!"
Sans answered with a hiccup.
"sorry, bro, it can't be reversed." The sad smile lingered as he continued. "and if i had it all to do over again? i would in a heartbeat. you are the only thing that matters to me, you always have been…always will be. you'll always be my little baby bones brother." He closed his eyes again, not wanting to see his brother's face, knowing all too well that it was crestfallen and aching from the pain of impending loss.
"Sans, you jerk!" Spat Papyrus, his voice not carrying the venom he felt toward his brother now. Why? Why did it even have to be like this? Could Sans somehow not be that inconsiderate?
i did it for you.
"Don't you understand? I wanted to join the Royal Guard to protect you! To keep you safe because I knew… I knew that you took your big brother job way too seriously! Surprise, surprise, look what we have here! A tall, strong, bag of bones unable to protect his selfish brother. All those times you could have told me, all the times you could have spoken up, you didn't! Not when it mattered the most! Selfish! Damn it, Sans, why?" The tide of words coming from his mouth rose and fell every few words, showing that Papyrus was no longer in control of his emotions. He tightened the grip on Sans' face, causing him to wince at the uneasy pressure.
"DO YOU EVER THINK AT ALL?"
Before he could even react to what he was about to do, he peeled his hand from Sans' face, watching in slow motion as Sans' hand fell from his, and then brought it across his cheekbone in a whistling whip crack. Sans had no time to respond and soon found that his back was much more content resting against the soft bed. He didn't stop his face from turning away from his brother. It hurt too much and he didn't know how to respond. Also, there was another problem: Papyrus' hit, powered by his anger, was enough to bring down what was left of Sans' hope. Death, it seemed, had grown impatient.
Sans' eyes slowly closed, causing Papyrus to panic.
No!
"B-brother?!"
from the cradle to the grave do we carry the love we feel. it whispers down from the highest point of the heavens, and up from the lowest part of hell.
"i love you. i'm sor- "the rest of his words trailed off into unintelligible whispers and then into silence. Papyrus could no longer hold back his sobs as his older brother's coat seemed to grow bigger around the dust that was starting to fill it.
"Sans, no!" was the only thing that Papyrus could cry as the rest of his brother faded away into dust.
Tsakhi Says: Well, that was thoroughly depressing. Hopefully the next story will be happier? I hope so.
