Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender doesn't belong to me. If it did would be a lot sexier and would look a lot like my Luis Royo calendar. So its probably a good thing it doesn't.
Warnings: Semi-graphic sexual situations, most of which involves degrees of violence. There's also pregnant sex, I imagine some people are a little squicked out by that, so if you're one those people turn back now.
Acknowledgements: Just thought I'd mention, one of the scenes in this story was inspired by a piece of fan art from FantasyAce on deviantart, which also influenced a lot of my characterization of Toph in this story. So thanks to FantasyAce, and please check out their art.
Enjoy.
Its been said that if there is one thing that the blind fear the most it is fire. Fire is every where and nowhere at once. Its presence can be felt from far away, and even if there was a way to gauge its exact location it moves before it can be contained. For one who cannot see it is a terrifying entity, but for Toph it had always been tempting. Teaching herself not to panic when she felt a blast of heat pass her was not much when all she wanted was to take hold of it in her fist.
She loved the earth, it was her eyes and limbs, her partner and plaything, but fire was her unobtainable desire. So now as she sat on the high rock, in lotus, bare against the stone, she tipped her head back to the sun. Its rays were not the wicked blast of flame, this was sharper and purer than that. True light - the source. She felt it penetrating her skin, her bones, her womb. She felt it feeding her, feeding him. In return she gave the sun her favorite smile, the one she felt drip across her face after battle or sex. She could feel fire in her.
The baby folded neatly into Aang's yellow robes, turning her head softly into his chest, as he held her delicately but securely.
"She's so small," Aang breathed.
"The delivery was relatively easy," said Zuko. "Mai was up and moving around in less than a hour."
Aang chuckled softly. "Yeah, she would be." He ran a finger over the tiny head and looked up at Zuko. "You're very lucky."
Zuko smiled at his friend. He knew how much children meant to Aang, and it was extraordinary to see the world's spiritual leader look at this tiny little thing with such reverence. His tiny thing, Zuko reminded himself, the newborn princess to the Fire Nation. Hopefully she would treat her older brother better than her aunt once had.
The world demanded balance between the elements, and miraculously it was managing it without Aang. A few years ago a boy had been discovered in the Earth Kingdom who could knock over furniture with a cough, and since then many others had sprung up all over. It was up to Aang to train them, educate them on the culture they were distantly descended from. As for his own progeny, there was one on the way, but Aang was no doubt still worried. In cases of mixed parents, it was uncommon for a child to not take after his or her mother's element; all the new air benders were born of non-bending mothers who possessed Air Nomad lineage. Aang would love any child Katara bore him, Zuko was sure, but rebuilding the numbers of his lost people was one of the many steps that needed to be taken in restoring balance.
The earth aches. Zuko shook himself, pushing aside the cryptic whispers that had fallen across his ears. As I ache.
The baby girl cooed as she took hold of Aang's wooden beads in her tiny fists, bringing Zuko back to reality. "Let me take her," he said. " The nurse will feed her, while we have lunch."
Over their meal, the conversation moved from birthing to business, and while Mai feigned indifference, Zuko and Aang discussed the still heated fronts that blazed within the Fire Nation and out. Not everyone took world peace lying down.
"If its possible," said Aang slowly at one point, "perhaps you can have a word with Toph. We need her a lot right now."
Zuko stopped. "I haven't spoken to Toph in months, Aang."
"Oh," said Aang, startled. "Sorry, I only thought," he ran his hand of his smooth head nervously, "well, its just that, after the - well, lately you're the only she's spoken to. I figured she might've told you where she had gone."
Zuko felt something in him drop. "Gone?"
"Gone," Aang nodded. "Her place at the ravine is abandoned. None of her soldiers have heard from her."
Zuko sat back on his heels, stunned. "I didn't think she would-" he started, then feeling Mai's eyes on him, thought better of it.
Aang narrowed his eyes at him. Not long ago he had been cradling a newborn, soft and beautiful. Now he was sharp as a sword. "When was the last time you saw her?"
Zuko hesitated. "Maybe six months ago."
Aang raised an eyebrow, expecting more.
"She had been strange. She spoke of mountains singing to her, things I don't understand," he said, shaking his head. "I wanted to talk to her, get to come back to the regiment where she's needed." He smiled weakly. "She was immovable, as ever."
"Mm," murmured Aang, quickly losing interest in Zuko's testimony as Mai in all her stoicism fidgeted ever so slightly.
Toph sidestepped rickety carts and darting children as she wandered through the marketplace. It was packed, and she did not go unnoticed. Her size alone ensured that. She was so used to shuffling by, her tiny frame slipping between cracks and shoulders before anyone could notice her vacant stare. But her protruding belly prevented any kind of stealth. She felt steps slow as they passed her, gazes fall on her shape, then to her side to look for a man that wasn't there. Then finally, they would move to her face, and then the footsteps would stop.
Following the rich scent of food, Toph deftly navigated the gawking crowd and found her way into a warm restaurant and seated herself closest to the kitchen. The bustling of the servers and patrons quickly stilled at her presence, but she paid no mind. Four in back - two bulks of muscle, a child and their lithe leader - murmured to each other, and the leader tapped his foot. They sat alone, and the other diners made a point to avoid passing their table too closely.
When her food came, Toph gulped it down, barely giving the tenderly spiced meat a chance to burn her tongue and letting broth ooze over her chin. Her server stood unsteadily a few steps away, gaping. Behind her, one of the muscular men in back grabbed a teenage girl who bent to pick something up as she passed.
Dropping enough money on the table to get her the best meal in the house three times over, Toph said, "Keep it coming."
"You may have anything you wish," a voice said from the opposite direction of her server. The manager, based on how quickly the other man darted away. "But I will not take money from a woman in your situation."
If she knew how, Toph would have rolled her eyes. Instead, she gave the man a dismissive wave, and he strode off to make sure she got her next course. She managed to get through two more before boot steps came towards her, and that wiry form that surged with constantly burning adrenaline swaggered up from the back of room and seated himself before her. The muscle flanked her table, while the boy hung back, watching. The room had stilled even more than before.
Several moments passed where the man said nothing and Toph continued eating. Finally, he said, "You know I'm here."
Toph drank down the last of the broth in her bowl. "I do."
"Not even a 'hello'?"
"Hello," she offered.
The man grinned, "I'm Jin. I run things around here. These are my boys. Who are you?"
"I'm Toph Bei Fong."
"Toph. Bei. Fong," he repeated, softly. "Tell me, Toph Bei Fong, where do you get off walking in here like you own the very ground beneath you. Because I tell you now, this ground here belongs to me and my boys."
Toph smiled at him. "I own all the earth beneath me. And beneath you."
"Is that so?" that same hushed tone.
She only smiled at him, a good smile, the one her men said spoke of the noble woman she was supposed to be, and then began her next bowl.
One of Jin's goons snorted, perhaps offended that she was so dismissive of his leader, and reached down to snatch the money off the table that Toph had left for the server. Swiftly Toph took the warped dagger she kept in her robes and slammed it through the thief's hand, pinning it too the table. The man howled, and the room shuddered.
The heart of the man across from her raced, but it was not the adrenaline of rage but of excitement. His blood had a way of pumping erratically and forcefully through his veins. She was aware of both his leg bouncing restlessly against the floor and the blood that was gathering in his groin.
"Oh suck it up, Huang," he said, barely restraining his laughter, and the wounded man tried to do as he was told, clamping his teeth shut. The boy further behind him was panting.
Jin took the dagger firmly by the hilt and yanked it from the man hand, fixing the man with a look lest he cry out again. Cradling his hand, Huang stepped back a few paces, no longer interested in intimidating Toph, while his partner on the other side shifted uncomfortably.
Jin inspected the dagger and its strange curves. "The is an evil little thing," he said to her. "Where did you get it?"
"A friend I made in my journeys gave it to me," she told him. "A blacksmith. It was from a past life of his, so he no longer had much need for it. He thought I might though." She held out her hand to have to it back.
Jin paused before passing it back to her. "Was he your lover?" he asked.
"No," she said, tucking the dagger back at her side. "But his son was very sweet."
Jin grinned, licking the edge of a broken tooth. "You are fortunate to have met such generous people in your travels," he said. "But a blacksmith, even one with a sordid past can't offer you much. I, on the other hand, have gained much from my time here -" Toph felt the room shudder again - "and I am more than willing to share."
Toph took up her bowl again, finishing it in one gulp and dropping it on the table unceremoniously. "If you are willing," she said, "then I am able."
At the time, it was a moment. Even in his memory, he could pinpoint it precisely, by the second. Though retrospect told him that this was not the case. It was a slow build, taking forever and no time at all. One moment she was a child, small and reedy like a boy. The next the sway of her hips parted shadows, her footsteps were like battle cries, and her smile wasn't just feral anymore, it spoke of greed and dirt and sex.
Stories began to float back to the Fire Lord. They said she fucked like no one else alive, because she wasn't like anyone else alive. She started where you ought to finish, was hard when it was thought to be soft. These were her men of course - she'd been leading them through salvages, rescues and battle since she had been half their height and age, but they worshipped her. They only told the stories because she let them. She always had a way of building a reputation quickly.
The first time he kissed her she struck him across the face and then laughed. The blow was hard enough to send him reeling back a few steps, and she took the opportunity to slink out the door, still laughing. He made up a story about tripping over a curtain that made Mai laugh to explain the bruising.
The second time, when he leaned close and he could see that evil grin erupt when she thought he was going to kiss her. But he thought better of it. He thought of the stories they told. So instead, he forced her to the floor by the throat and spread her legs like the horizon to which he was the rising sun.
"Do you love me?" he asked her. This was a years later, an important point in the young Fire Lord's life. It was a rather blunt way to start the conversation, but it was as good as any. If he didn't ask, he never would.
He felt her weight shift towards him, not her head, her face, because of course she had no reason to look at him. Her way of "looking" was with her body. If she had been standing he would see it in her shoulders. As they were lying on a skinny cot in her tent at the edge of a military encampment, he felt the subtle tug of their clothes beneath them, her hip meeting his.
"Why do you ask?" she said.
"Is it a foolish question?"
"I mean, why do you need to know? Why now?"
A valid response. He had never asked before. He waited before responding, and he felt guilty that as he considered, he was not thinking of her, but of the sometimes stern and sometimes quizzical looks of the Fire Nation's royal advisors. "I have put off….some things," he said lamely.
"You mean marriage," Toph said, sitting up. Well, he said wanted to get to the point.
"Yes," he said with a sigh, sitting up as well. "So I need to know." He stared at the side of her face, seeing the tightness in her jaw despite her blank expression. "You could have everything. I would give that to you."
Toph laughed, and it felt like spear going through Zuko's chest. She tilted her head towards him, for his benefit. "Marry Mai, Zuko," she said. "I have everything I need."
"Toph," he said, reaching out to her, but she brushed him off. "I -"
"You love me?" for a moment sounding shrill. "What does it matter?" She stood up, picking up her clothes. "I grew up in a prison cell, Zuko. Why would I put myself in another one?"
Jin followed behind her as she entered the room. Sturdy walls, fragrance of women and alcohol. Jin had already seen how she moved, so she hadn't pretended to take to his arm for support or guidance, and he never asked why she didn't need to. He was a much dumber man than his gang and the villagers gave him credit for, but what do you expect? This was no metropolis, just one village and one gang.
"What do you think?" he said, slowly again. Maybe he wasn't so dumb.
"I think," said Toph, "you've done well for yourself."
He made a sound when he grinned that was like laughter. No doubt it was smile that bared his teeth, that often made women quiver.
"I want to show you something," he said, stepping past her. "Since you were so kind to show much such charming metal work" - he reached for a small chest, lifting the lid and running his hands over the smooth inlay - "I thought I'd show you one of my favorites." From the silk he pulled his knife and Toph felt the hum of its shape fill the room, vibrations racing over her skin, causing her fine hairs stand on end. He, her curled ball of partially formed limbs, shifted inside her as her womb tightened, and heat flushed through her from the bottom up.
Moving towards, Jin held the blade in a taunting manner. He was talking now, of the master who skillfully made it, and how Jin had taken it from him. Toph cared for none of this. The metal alone told its story, its insides spoke to hers in a suicidal song. It wasn't until Jin had it tickling her breastbone, causing her nipples to stand on end and lips to part that she remembered he was there.
"Would you like to hold it?" he said.
"No," she said. "I don't need to. I'd prefer to see what you can do with it."
He grinned again, tongue to his tooth again, and swiftly sliced through the front of her clothes, yanking at the pieces to leave them in sheared on the floor, revealing her swollen, strange shape. One hand ran over her belly, steadily and slowly like a bead of sweat, then tucked and reached between her legs while the other pressed the blades handle into her breast, the metal smacking flatly against her arm. Taking hold of his chin firmly in one hand, she guided his mouth to hers. When his tongue reached for hers, she bit it. It was only her grip on his face that kept him from a life without taste or speech.
He stared her down viciously, gripping her breast harder while the sharp knife was tempted to slice into her, but Toph relished the pain. Giving him her wicked smile, the one that made her men laugh and holler with excitement at the deeds it promised, she let go of him, and with his freedom he tossed the knife to floor, and brought her down into the thick mattress in the center of the room. There she lay on stolen silk sheets just like the knife once had, while he opened her with his body and greeted the fire within her with what could've been a tortured cry.
Zuko stared down at his newborn daughter. All her fingers, and all her toes. Her eyes flickered open briefly when he said her name. Eyes that saw him, saw through him even. He thought of the Bei Fongs and what went through their minds when they realized their little girl would never look at them. He wondered what they thought when they realized many years later that they would never see her again except in paintings by those who sought to honor her in a way that they never could.
Zuko looked down into his daughter's small golden eyes and though of how he had looked into eyes that were as colorless as the moon. Looking at them, looking for anything as she tipped her head back, letting her shoulders go slack as she stood in a crater's pit. Crooked bodies were stuck between rocks, their weapons dangling uselessly. For what good were weapons - or flames, for that matter - when you had no ground to stand on?
Understanding finally - finally, for it took him so long to really see her, if he ever did - he caught the slow smile on her face, the great ecstatic sigh that rang through her.
"Toph," he said finally. The smile slipped from her face slightly. Not even he was worth breaking this spell, apparently. "Get out of there. Its time to go home."
She let him guide her by the hand out of the crater she had created, and to his surprise she leaned in close, her fingers running along his inner arm. Sex and blood apparently go hand in hand, he thought, unable to brush her away. The others watched her warily. He knew enough about what she saw to know that she was aware, but she paid that no mind.
Normally, he and Toph did not bother with arbitrary things like a bed, or even privacy, as they were prone to attack each other in barely shaded corners of the royal palace, or outside in the dirt. But perhaps Toph was feeling a tad romantic that night, so she led him to her modest hovel at the side of the mountain, which they proceeded to all but destroy in their grappling.
Left stripped and dirty with sweat and other things, Zuko stared into nothing, sated and ecstatic as Toph traced his ribs with her tongue. It took a few seconds to notice when she stopped. When he looked down at her, she said, "Did you know I've been replaced?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"My mother," she said, "gave birth to a little girl a few months ago. I found out last week."
"They only just told you now?" he asked.
Toph smiled in an ugly way. "No," she said. "I overheard people gossiping about it." She paused, and the smile faded. "They said she's perfect."
Zuko, at a loss of words, ran his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp.
"Do you think it would've been better or worse," she said, her lips moving against his skin, "if Ozai had replaced your mother?"
The tender movement of his hand abruptly stopped, and Toph peeled herself off the young Fire Lord, laying flat on ground beside him several inches away, and she quickly fell asleep.
Jin stumbled backwards, dazed, the bottle neck loosely held in his fist as he took another swig. He was drunk already, Toph thought with a sigh, her head back on the thick mattress. The silk sheets were in fact nice. The villagers had been spoiling their resident pirate, and what good did it get them?
She heard him giggle stupidly as he came towards her, the weight of his knees tipping the mattress. "Open up," he said, and she obediently opened her mouth for him. The bitter drink sloshed in, spilling over her lips. He tipped it over her breasts and belly, and laughed again. She spat it out into his face. He twitched and hissed as alcohol seeped into his eye. She smiled.
He was too drunk to be bothered though, and putting the bottle down on the floor, he leaned over her to lick the alcohol off her skin, moving over her nipples to her bellybutton where some had gathered. He sighed, resting his cheek on her belly.
"Who's baby is this?" he asked, tracing little lines over her roundness.
"The Fire Lord's," she said, without missing a beat.
He threw his head back and laughed. "Of course!" he proclaimed. "Who else would be worthy? And no wonder," settling back down over her, "its so hot in there." Pushing her thighs apart, he dipped his head between them, lapping slowly. Toph grinned to herself thinking that this street rat turned overlord was probably not the generous type most often. What would his subjects think if they saw him servicing her like this?
He lifted his head again. "I'm not done," she said.
"Neither am I." He slipped a finger into her, and she let a low sound escape her lips. "What if I was his father?" he asked.
Toph ran her tongue along her teeth. "You are his father. For now."
He curled his finger, and Toph stretched and moaned into the added pressure. "I don't mean for now," he said. "I mean from now on." He ran his thumb over that tiny ball of lighting above her entrance. "I could take care of you."
Toph laughed and his slight movements halted. "Do I look someone who needs taking care of?"
"I think you do," he said silkily. He moved and her hand was around his wrist and knee into his diaphragm before got his fingers around her throat. He lurched off the bed, but she held on to his wrist and sat up while he collapsed to the floor winded and furious.
"Of course you do," she said. "That's exactly what I look like." He moved to strike her with his other hand but she took hold of that too, and placing her palms against his, their fingers intertwined, she pushed and twisted. He screamed.
She heard uncomfortable shuffling outside the door. The other one knew something was wrong but he was too afraid of interrupting. That fear that this stupid boy had instilled in his subordinates had now come back to bite him in the ass. How fitting.
Toph sighed, letting her body sag and her head tip back while still keeping a firm grip. "I am so hungry. Tell him to get me something to eat." The man only sobbed and drooled before her. She tightened her fingers, hearing as tiny fractures erupted in his hands. He cried out again. "Tell me him to get me something hot."
"Huang," he managed to call out.
"Yeah boss?"
"Get the lady something to eat. Something hot."
"Uh, sure thing boss." The heavy footsteps moved away and then vanished.
Finally she let go of him, and he fell back, cradling his wounded hands. "Your hands," he said. "They're like stone."
"My hands are stone," said Toph, "because my mind is stone." She reached for the dagger on the floor, the one he used to cut off her clothes, his favorite blade. Taking it both hands, it curved to her will until it was a perfect U, and then dropped to the floor with a hard thud. She smiled, the kind of smile that she doesn't think about, and she knows it looks awful because she can feel him quivering.
"My mind and body are of stone, and there is fire in my belly."
Only once did Zuko manage to take her in the royal bed chambers. Mai was away with her family, and he so badly wanted to see Toph within the deep red silks and gold detail of the room he shared with his wife. He tried to imagine her in the decadent robes instead of her armor, her haired intricately laced with the ornament of the crown instead of the unruly tangles that he buried his face in that night.
"Don't you think," she asked him, reading him easily, "that if it had been me who belonged here instead of Mai, that you'd be here with her instead right now?"
Zuko thought for a moment. "No," he decided. "If I married you, Mai would've moved on. She would've forgotten me."
"Are you saying that we can't move on, Zuko?" Toph said, grinning. "Are we here just because we're out of our damn minds?"
"Yes," he said, returning the smile even though she couldn't see it. No doubt she could hear it in his voice. "That's exactly what I'm saying." He kissed her, and for a few moments she was soft for him, tender but still intense.
Zuko loved Mai. She was both elegant and fearsome, a wife that he was proud of. But Toph's raw power licked at his mind and body like tendrils of heat that he couldn't ignore. He would never have trapped her here, he thought, he would never be content to leave her in this gilded cage like his father had done to his mother, and no doubt so many Fire Lords had before. She would've been his warrior queen. The greatest earth bender to ever live married to the Fire Lord who would unite the nations again, two mentors to the Avatar - the world would've bowed before them, not just out of duty or fear, but in true admiration and reverence. Their children would've been gods.
But it had never really been up to Zuko, had it? With all his power, sitting at the peak of his nation from such a young age, he had no power to make any woman stand beside him. It was Toph who let him go, and Mai who held on. All he could've done was ask.
In the morning, the villagers could only stare at the backs of Jin and his gang as they left with the night, bringing with them only their basic possessions. All the silks and gold they bestowed on them they left behind. However, they were not so stunned to not noticed the blind pregnant women leaving in the opposite direction. They were a small village, but even they had heard the stories of the small but sturdy woman with eyes like marble who nonetheless moved like she could see. Children from miles away told campfire stories that said she could hear your heartbeat, that she could see into your soul.
It was the restaurant manager who followed her. In all her prowess, she could still only move as quickly as any other woman heavy with child, so it didn't take much effort for him to catch up to her just before the edge of the village.
"Please," he said, "stay with us. It's the least we can do."
"You fed me, that's all I asked for," she said, and then added with a grin, "And I found my own bed."
"But it can't be long now," he pointed out.
"I have until the solstice," she told him, resting a hand on her belly.
"How can you be so sure?" he nonetheless asked.
"He tells me everything I need to know," she said, confidently. He would be the only man that ever could.
