You knew from the beginning that Yato had killed someone. It was in the way he held himself: a countenance that struggled to hold a burden made from cement blocks. It was in his words: a vibration of repressed pain that echoed throughout each and every thought escaping his chapped lips. Most of all, however, it was in his eyes: a slight narrow whenever he'd think of the past and a strong effort to keep the misery from their depths.
You had never said a word about knowing this; you didn't want the subject to come up. You didn't know if you could handle hearing the truth out loud.
"y/n-chan," your friend muttered from behind. You fought the urge to turn around in your seat; the teacher would surely scold you again if you did. Nonetheless, she started tapping the sensitive parts of your spine to get your attention. You casually titled your head towards the window and your ear towards the bubbling girl. "When do I get to meet your boyfriend?"
"You don't," you muttered in a low voice. Your friend gave a short whine.
"Why?!"
"How to explain...?" You trailed off and ignored your friend for the remainder of class. She was insistent for the remainder of the day about meeting your boyfriend, but you knew that it was pointless to try and tell her why that wasn't possible. Yato had a strange ability to be nearly invisible to everyone he came into contact with. The handyman was only seen by you and a few others (usually clients). You'd searched every textbook that you could to find out why this was the case, but had come up with nothing more than this: the Gods didn't want him to be seen. You wished desperately for that ability as you slipped out of the classroom later on.
"There you are!" Someone yelled. You flinched, recognizing Akemi's voice among the crowd of bustling students. As she and her group caught sight of you, you took off running. You'd been hoping not to draw any attention to yourself today, but the efforts were useless.
Akemi and her gang trailed behind you, but you still had years of practiced speed over their thin, spoiled legs. You were able to dodge and weave through every obstacle and had nearly made it to the doors when two tall, lanky girls stepped in your path.
"DAMMIT," you hissed, skidding to a stop and turning on your heels. With Akemi's guards starting to surround you, you hurried into the locker room nearby. There was a small window that you could possibly wriggle out of. As you did so, your legs were yanked on harshly. Akemi's girls had caught you, and there was no way out now.
"Thinking that you could get out of our hold, little rat?" Akemi muttered, yanking on your wrist. Before you could answer, a hard and heated slap hit your cheek. The girls snickered as you winced.
"How about you give us a little squeak?" One of them said.
You looked up, the right side of your face starting to swell, and spit in the girl's face. She screamed.
"Ew!" the others said. "The rat spit her disgusting disease all over Sae!"
"You're really asking for the punishment today." The girls cackled and pulled you towards one of the full-length lockers. They shoved you inside and twisted a new combination into the lock. The walls made your shoulders pull into your chin. Your back quickly started to hurt and the hands pressed into your chest were bent awkwardly against the metal. Only three thin slits allowed you to see the light go off outside. The laughter of the girls faded into the distance, and you knew that you weren't going to be getting out of there for a few hours. You sighed, refusing to scream or cry like you used to, and struggled to get as comfortable as possible. You had expected to be there for longer than a few minutes, but you were freed before you even had a chance to start dozing off.
"I thought I'd find you here," two blue, slitted eyes greeted. You gasped a bit before being pulled into someone's freeing arms.
"I don't know how you always find me," you mumbled, pushing your head into Yato's chest. He smelled of dirt, grime, and something else that (unlike the other two scents) was inexplicably delicious. It was cool river water, fresh from a summer night's rain. It was dozens of flowers from lily pads and thick, healthy river reeds. You adored that scent and refused to leave it for a few minutes. Yato chuckled.
"You're certainly affectionate today, my little Nezumi." You huffed and pushed him back, regretting letting your guard down.
"Don't call me that. My name is y/n."
"Yeah, but the great Yato thinks you're so cute and small like a little mouse." Yato grinned widely. You felt the need to smack his shoulder.
"Thanks for letting me out. I'm gonna head home." You started walking away. After a moment, he followed.
"You should stand up to those girls," he muttered casually.
"I know."
"So why don't you?"
You shrugged. At last, Yato grabbed your arm and pulled you back to his side. His eyes bore into you, searching for something.
"C'mon, I'm trying to be serious. Why haven't you stood up to them? Or told a teacher about them, or something?"
You pulled away. "I dunno. I made a wish to some unknown deity a while ago. I don't even remember his name, but I guess that he didn't want to grant my wish for only 5 yen."
Yato nodded as something in your head started to sting. You had been on the verge of another linking thought, but couldn't grasp it in time. You huffed and moved on.
"I dunno what I was thinking. I mean, it was only 5 yen, but still…."
Yato held open the school doors for you and the both of you headed out. He stared down the street, seemingly looking at nothing at all. "I'm sure he heard your wish," he mumbled.
"Maybe. Hopefully."
"Was your wish to get back at those girls?"
"No, of course not."
"Then what did you ask for?"
You turned to Yato. "Why should I tell you?" You muttered.
"Because I'm your incredible boyfriend, of course." Yato wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "You can tell me anything."
His alarmingly sweet scent put you at peace...just a bit. "I don't even remember where we met. You could be lying to me about us dating." You were joking (mostly), but you knew something was up when Yato's laugh became strangely forced. You tried to look directly in his eyes to gain some inkling of what he was feeling, but he moved on.
"I just wanna know more about you." He smiled, spinning you around to face him and halting you on the edge of the sidewalk. "I want to know what your hopes and dreams are like...what you think about and what you wish for."
"Hmm." You stared up at his lips. Their grin made you feel dizzy. "I dunno if I should just tell you for free."
Yato smiled. "Well, then I'll just have to give you something for it." He leaned down, setting his lips over yours. An overwhelmingly sweet sensation took you over. Your body flooded with warmth and your every nerve started to tingle. You shivered as the feeling traveled up your back and forced your torso into Yato's. He held you tightly - just for a split second - then he released you with a breathy question: "How was that?"
You stopped talking for a few minutes. Something seemed...off about that kiss. You were sure that he'd kissed you before, but there was something so unfamiliar about it that you had to take a step back. Yato gave you an alarmed look, speaking quickly.
"I - I just woo you too well, don't I?" He started laughing. You forced yourself to do the same.
"I guess…." You shrugged and rubbed your eyes. There were tears forming in them, for some reason, and you wanted to make sure that they were gone before Yato saw them. "Um, anyway, my wish was that they would just get bored of me and leave me alone...or that I could leave this place and not have to worry about Akemi…." You forced your lips to turn up, refusing to meet Yato's gaze. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Sorry, but I should go home."
Yato nodded. "Be safe, alright? And stay inside for the rest of the day." He looked towards a cluster of clouds in the distance. "There will be a Storm tonight."
"Okay." You said your goodbyes , trying not to show him your confusion or your sudden urge to cry. Why did this feel so strange? So unnatural? So wrong? You'd been in love with Yato since the day you met him, even if you couldn't remember when that was.
What, then, made you want to tear your heart out and leave it on the sidewalk?
... ... ...
As you arrived at home, you gave a relieved sigh. No one was there, as usual, but this was good. It meant that your mother wouldn't try to tell you about her newest boyfriend. As you ascended the stairs to your room, you entertained yourself with homework while you waited for it to be time to fall asleep.
Kill yourself.
"What?" You glanced around. Did someone speak?
Smells good….
"Yato, this isn't funny." You stood and went to the one window in your room, kneeling on the seat below it. The blue-eyed boy wasn't anywhere in sight.
...Smells good...smells good….
"Yato…?" You stared up at the sky, wondering if maybe one of the girls from your class was playing a wicked prank again. The bullies could be relentless, but they didn't usually come to your house to harass you.
The clouds seemed to gather around your house and yours alone. The rest of the sky was dark and starry. You hurriedly shut the window and pulled over the curtains.
Smells good…kill yourself….
"Stop!" You yelled, a sudden panic rushing through you. You'd heard these voices before, but from where?!
KILL YOURSELF...Smells good….
"NO!" You ran for the bathroom across the hallway, locking yourself inside. You sat on the floor and covered your ears. Why was this happening? Why did your skull feel like something was about to burst from the back of it?
KILL YOURSELF. SMELLS GOOD. YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO DO IT. KILL YOUSELF. KILLYOURSELFKILLYOURSELFKILLYOUSELF.
"I won't! I won't do it, dammit!"
The door burst open. Nothing was there, but a gust of wind was pouring in through your open(?!) window. You screamed aloud, but couldn't hear it. Something picked you up off of the ground and threw you into the bathtub. Your head hit the porcelain and you lost your vision.
