Hey guys! This is my first fic, I hope you'll like it!


It was about three on the morning when May finally decided she was done pretending she would get any sleep that night. She had too many things in her head, well, even more than usual. That time away had been very nice for her; she really needed some time for herself, but in her time off she had realized how much she enjoyed being with the team.

Tired of thinking and rethinking the same ideas all over again May acquired a sitting position. She yawned noiselessly and stretched up a bit. She would usually go to the gym to do some tai-chi or to see if Coulson needed anything, but it was too late, or maybe too early, to do either of them. So she changed into some black leggings, put a pair of snickers on and made up her mind. She would go and have a cup of tea. Things were always easier with a cup of tea.

May made her way towards the kitchen, but when she walked past the common room something stopped her. A sob. Trying desperately not be noticed, and she was quite good at that, she slightly opened the door, just enough to take a peek inside the room. God bless the high-technology bases for not having any creaking doors.

It took her eyes a little to adjust to the darkness, but after a few seconds she was finally able to recognize different shapes in the black scene. She identified a body behind one of the couches. It was feminine, large and slim. Simmons.

Go back to your bunk, was her first thought. She wasn't good dealing with feelings; she had never been, to be honest. She had always let Coulson handle the sentimental part of everything, no matter they were talking about missions or rookies or their own team. He was just too good at that stuff.

However, she decided not to leave. Maybe it was something serious.

"Jemma?" she tried softly.

The figure almost jumped out of her skin. "May" said a voice with a startled British accent. "Bloody hell, you scared me"

"Sorry" May apologized. "What's going on?"

"Uh, it's nothing" she said.

After entering and closing behind her back May made her way to her side slowly. She sat down in silence, feeling somewhat odd about the whole situation. "It's not nothing" was all she managed to murmur.

Why she had to be so stupid when it came to emotions? Of course it wasn't nothing.

"I know" whispered the girl. She looked at her for a second, trying to force a smile. She was wearing a gray shirt from the Academy and sweatpants, her usual pajamas. Her hair was messy and her eyes bright and reddish, like the rest of her face. She hadn't had a good night of sleep before going there; that was obvious. "I'm glad you're back. When did you return here?"

"A couple of hours ago" she answered. "It's everything okay?" she insisted. May didn't want to push her, but she was worried and wanted to help her.

"It's… fine" replied Simmons. She sighed. "There's nothing you can do"

"I'm good at keeping secrets" said May.

Jemma turned her head to look at her and the moonlight that entered from the room illuminated her face. It was somewhat reddish, stained with tears. Her eyes were bright, and even if she looked away almost instantaneously they gave away how bad she felt.

"It's just… a lot of things" she admitted. "And on top of them I just talked with my father. We fought over the phone… again"

"He doesn't know you're here, does he?" asked May.

Simmons shook her head. "He thinks I'm a party planner, that that's what I've been doing since I finished university. I can't blame him, though. He spent a lot of money and time in my classes… I guess he had expected more from me, something that would make him proud"

"If it makes you feel any better… he would be, if he knew everything" said May, putting an awkward yet reassuring hand on her knee. "We all are"

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better" she muttered with a small smirk.

"I mean it, Simmons" replied the older woman. "You're a good person"

Simmons shook her head as tears appeared in her eyes "I don't even know who I am anymore"

May felt a shiver running down her back as she remembered that time she had told Coulson exactly same thing. She wondered if he had felt as bad as she did now, seeing Simmons breaking down like that.

"Yes, you are" she said, putting an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer.

She wasn't used to that kind of behavior and she had to admit it was indeed somewhat awkward, but it also felt like the right thing to do. After a few seconds of weak resistance and hesitation Simmons gave in and buried her face in her shoulder. "It's okay" whispered May in her ear. She placed her other hand on her back and gently caressed her hair. "It's okay"

"I'm sorry" she sobbed, her voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. "I just… I mean… what's wrong with me?"

May didn't know how to answer that. She couldn't say nothing, that would be a lie. But what else could she do? For a time that could have been either ten seconds or three hours they just stayed like that. Simmons sobbing in her arms. May holding her.

"It's okay not to always be okay" she said, trying to calm her. "You know that"

"I don't really feel like I'm ever going to be okay again" replied Simmons. She pulled apart and cleaned her face with the side of her sleeve. "I really appreciate you and your help, May, but I'm sorry; I don't think there's anything you can do" she said. "You…"

"I understand" May interrupted her. "More than you think"

Simmons shook her head. "You don't" she insisted. "I feel so bad, May. I… I try to be strong, but I can't. And I just wish…"

"You could run away, but you can't do that either" continued May. "Because you have that only person who still believes in you and that refuses to leave, even if you want him too. You want to disappear, but he's still there, and you're afraid that one day he'll see what you've become and walk away. And you want to move on too, forget everything what happened. But you can't, because you made it happen and it's a part of yourself, so you're the only one to blame"

May's voice slowly trailed off in the air. Her eyes were fixed to the floor, her lips shivering. She had said too much and she knew it, but she knew that words were the only way to get to her. From the corner of her eye she could see Simmons staring at her speechless, and how could she blame her? Jemma had never seen her talking that much, let alone to her or about something that personal.

Nevertheless she decided to wait for her answer, because deep inside of her she knew that she had got right every single word. May knew that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't always protect her team. Simmons had gone through hell by herself, and she hadn't even tried to save her like the others. However, there was something only she could do; understand. That whole dimension experience had been Simmons's Bahrain, and she was more than decided to keep her safe, to keep her from becoming… someone like her.

"Okay" murmured Simmons after a small pause of awkward silence. "Maybe you do understand how I feel"

May just nodded.

"But... why?" she asked. A second later, before May could ever open her mouth to reply, she frowned and shook her head. "I'm sorry; you don't need to answer that"

"It's okay" said May. "I went through something similar in the past" she confessed, her voice barely an audible whisper. "It was my fault, though, and I had to deal with the consequences"

"You don't need to tell me this, May" interrupted her Simmons.

"My biggest mistake, however," she ignored her and continued talking, "was to walk away. I didn't let him help until it was too late"

"What does that mean?" asked Simmons.

May looked up again to meet her in the eye. "Don't walk away like I did, let them in, Jemma"

"I'm not so sure I can do that" she admitted. With a sigh she let her head fall on May's shoulder.

"Yes, you can" replied May, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Just not on your own. And we're all here for you"

"Thanks" she whispered with a yawn.

"Let's go back to sleep" said May. She stood up and reached out a hand.

"Okay" agreed Simmons, taking it.

May walked her silently to her room and opened the door for her. Simmons, however, seemed reluctant to walk in and she noticed it.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing" replied the young scientist, entering her dormitory and turning on the lights.

May didn't fall for that. "Nightmares" she said. It wasn't a question.

Simmons sighed. "Every single night"

"I'll stay until you fall asleep" she promised.

The girl blushed violently. "No. I'm fine, you don't need to do it"

"It's fine" said May, sitting on her bed. "Come here"

Simmons climbed her bed and slipped under the sheets. May just laid next to her, resting her head in one arm, bending over Simmons in a maternal way that made her feel strangely safe and protected.

"Thank you" said Simmons. "I'm really happy you're back"

"Good night" was May's answer.

"Good night"

None of them talked for the rest of the night. About twenty minutes later May heard Simmons's breathing becoming deeper and calmer. She knew she had fallen asleep already, but she was too tired to leave and her hand was still holding Jemma's.

She was such a good person, she thought. Like the other 'kids' from the team, Simmons had grown up; she was more mature and serious, but also braver and stronger. She had become a wonderful woman and May was really proud of her. She decided Simmons didn't deserve what had happened to her, and she swore to herself she would do everything in her power and even more to help her. With that last thought in her mind May closed her eyes and fell asleep next to the girl.


What do you think? Please post some reviews guys, any feedback will be happily accepted! I'll try to update really soon and I promise the next chapter is going to be better!