Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, not, own any of the characters you see here. Because if I did, that would mean I owned Summer, and I clearly would have no time for foolish endeavors like writing. Or school. Or clothing.
A/N: Hola. This is fic #2 for me, and this one's a little out of my wheelhouse of internal angst. The idea simply arose from something I noticed in "The Truth", along with some other fic I've read. Chapter 1 is more or less a table-setter for upcoming events. We'll see how it goes. Critiques/reviews are always welcome.
Amid the quiet murmurs of the library, Anna looked up from her notebook and checked her watch: 1:52 pm, time to get to AP Calculus. As she gathered up her books into her bag and slipped out into the buzzing hallway, she breathed in deeply and braced herself. By this point, she had the entire routine down to a science: she knew Seth would be meeting Summer by their lockers and walking her to class, and had found a route to avoid crossing paths. She would be in her seat at the rear of the classroom in three minutes and thirty seconds, well before the lovebirds made their giggling, quipping entrance, at which point Anna would have her eyes focused on her notes and her ears occupied with her iPod.
God, how much more pathetic can it get, she thought as she strode among the throngs of bustling teenagers, dodging and sidestepping the vapid bimbos and the slack-jawed jocks that skipped along like life was so fucking simple…like the biggest problems in their glittering world was which beach house was hosting this weekend's blowout, which moron was bringing the booze and the coke, and which skank was going to spread her legs for the noble cause of momentary high-school popularity. She snorted in mock amusement at herself: she really had become bitter over the past two weeks. Newport had never sat well with her, and now she couldn't even talk to the only person who she really felt understood the ridiculousness of this wealthy slice of hell. She had no one to quietly mock the nonsensical conversation she overheard two water-polo players having as she waited on line for her lunch yesterday. She had nobody to gush to about the amazing live Bright Eyes concert CD she found at the record store over the weekend. She had no one to debate over how the trailer for the new Punisher movie made it look like there was going to be another butchering of a classic comic.
She had wept enough, cried herself sick that night she returned home from the Cohens' house after the whole Oliver thing climaxed. She had told herself that she was above the typical teenage girl response, was beyond blaming herself over Seth's blind spot for Summer. She had convinced herself that she was not the problem, that she had tried to be as good a girlfriend as she could to him as possible. Hell, she had more or less let him dictate the way she dressed and what she ate…there wasn't much she wouldn't have done to make what they had work. But it just became too clear: there wasn't much she could have done to make what they had work. Summer had won, had won before there was ever a contest. And Anna wasn't even that upset with her…for all of her flaws, Summer actually had more substance about her than the vast majority of these Newport brats, and she didn't wish any tremendous misfortune in her direction.
Which wasn't to say Anna wasn't nauseated at the sight of the two together strolling down the hall that Monday morning.
It had hardly taken 24 hours for them to get together.
She had quickly developed a new pattern for her days, consciously steering clear of as many places and situations where she knew she'd have to encounter them as she possibly could. Lunch at the Student Union was out – food was either eaten in the library or at the lit mag office, and that was only if she didn't hop in her car and go off-campus. Any and all Newport social functions were a no-go. Not that she was going to miss those. She couldn't even go to the comic-book store on her normal schedule, since Summer's new "interest" had led to Seth dragging her along with him during all the times they had established since school started. And for two weeks, it had worked: there had been no awkward meetings, no uncomfortable conversations, and no Summer-contrived face-offs where she could gloat about her crushing triumph. And she was feeling a little better with herself every day that she made it through: who knows – just another couple of weeks and perhaps this all would fade and she could get back to her life.
A quick glance at her watch: 1:55. She was turning the corner to get to the classroom when a bright peal of laughter halted her gait cold. Anna felt as if the house lights suddenly went down at the theater, everyone else took their seats, and the curtain rose to reveal Seth and Summer strolling down the hallway together, arms wrapped around each other's waists. There was no other motion, no other sound as the two stopped right beside the door, Summer leaning back against the wall and pulling Seth up against her by his shirt. The grin that spread over his face would have lit up the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza as he gazed down at her, slowly lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers. His hands slid down to her hips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, their bodies pressing together as they kissed each other like they were in the final scene of some romantic comedy and had overcome all obstacles to realize they were fated to be together, like there was nobody else in the school, like nothing outside the two of them mattered…
Anna felt the air being sucked out of her lungs, her stomach wrapping into about eight different knots as she stood there, unable to move. He never looked at me like that…he never smiled at me like that…he certainly never kissed me like that, her mind said. Her vision began to blur, and suddenly the rest of the scene was back in motion, students hustling through the hallway, talking, laughing, yelling, heels clicking, lockers slamming. Her legs began to tremble, she felt her shoulders tensing, her head burning, chills running down her spine…and as they separated and Seth gently cupped Summer's cheek in his hand, her heart shattered. She choked back a sob, covering her mouth with one hand as she spun on her heel and took off down the intersecting hallway.
Biting on the inside of her lip, trying desperately not to break down in the middle of school, she slalomed through the mass of humanity, ducking and weaving her way past faceless individuals, careening down the halls as fast as she could without running. Three turns, she thought, two minutes and you'll be in the parking lot and in your car and to your house and out of this fucking place forever. She wheeled around the first corner with her head down and clipped someone passing by, spinning down and landing hard on her right hip; her eyes welled up as the dam broke, the upheaval of emotions flooding her being. Ignoring whomever she hit, she tried to scramble back to her feet before hearing a deep, slightly breathless, "Hey".
She paused for a heartbeat, still not looking back, but then felt a strong, rough hand grasp gently at her wrist. Her eyes closed slowly, trying to squeeze back the tears before turning her head and gazing up at Ryan, who was now bent over her fallen body.
"Anna, I'm so sorry…are you ok?" he asked.
She sniffed softly, lowering her head as she murmured, "Yeah, fine. Sorry, should have been watching where I was going," while she allowed him to help her off the cold linoleum floor. She brushed herself off and straightened up while Ryan picked up her bag and the books that had scattered in the fall. Taking them from him without looking up, she started to turn away.
"What's wrong, Anna?" he inquired.
She swallowed another sob before answering, "Nothing. Thanks for, um…I've got to go."
"Doesn't appear to be nothing," he responded, his firm tone clearly asserting he wasn't convinced.
Shit, he's perceptive, Anna thought. She spun back around, looking up at the ceiling as she spoke, "Whatever, it doesn't matter, I'm leaving and I'm never setting foot in this goddamn school again, so thanks again and have a nice life," but before she could move his hand was on her shoulder.
"Anna," he said quietly.
Sighing heavily, she shifted her weight onto her right foot and lowered her gaze to him. His sky-blue eyes were locked in on her, and she was thrown slightly by the obvious concern in them.
A moment passed before he spoke again, "Look, I was going to go get some lunch…come along."
Chewing the corner of her lip as she held his gaze, raising a hand to brush the tears from her eyes, she stammered, "No, I…I can't stay here, Ryan…I've g-got to be, somewhere, anywh-where but here…"
"Hey, it's ok…then I'll take you somewhere we can eat…CPK's right down the street, and um, I could go for a BLT pizza right now," he offered.
Anna sniffled softly, her eyes closing as she lowered her chin to her chest. A heavy silence filled the now-empty hallway, and after a long pause, she nodded gently.
Without another word, Ryan delicately stroked his hand down her back and guided her, the two heading for the parking lot.
