Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or anything associated with them, and I'm not making a profit by posting this story.
Plot: It's Tony's birthday. It turns out to be way different from the last one.
Note I: This particular "common room" is a large space, with a living area, dining area, and kitchenette.
Note II: This is my first Avengers fanfic, so I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism on characterization and stuff. Other than that, enjoy!
"Hey, Steve or Thor, get over here and help me hang these streamers!"
The two superheroes set down the heavy crates they'd just brought in to the communal Stark Tower living room, and burst out laughing when they caught sight of Bruce Banner sitting on the floor, buried under a pile of multicolored party decorations.
"What happened?" Steve asked, still chuckling, above Thor's booming laugh.
Banner glared. "The streamers and I wanted to be better friends, Cap. Now get me up before the other guy decides that I'm in danger."
Thor reached the scientist first and held out a hand, then pulled him to his feet. "I never thought to see you held at bay by paper."
Banner was spared having to answer by the arrival of the team's resident assassins. Steve turned to them. "Romanoff, Barton, report."
The two exchanged a quick glance before Natasha said, "Pepper spoke with JARVIS, and everything is set. Stark is completely oblivious."
"Good," Steve said, nodding. It was all going as planned.
Clint walked over to the crates that Steve and Thor had been carrying. "Nice, drinks! Good job, guys."
"Let's get those in the refrigerator," Steve said to the archer, as Banner and Thor started hanging the streamers from the ceiling. He and Clint brought the crates to the bar. Steve had been a little wary of involving alcohol in this affair, considering the possible ramifications of having a bunch of drunk superheroes/assassins running around New York, but Pepper herself had assured him that everything would be all right and that she'd help him keep an eye on everything to make sure that things didn't get too out of hand.
By 1700 hours, the common room had been transformed, complete with flashing strobe lights courtesy of JARVIS. Natasha and Clint were setting the table, and Thor had switched from hanging streamers to hanging strands of Christmas lights that he'd found. Bruce had quietly confided in Steve that maybe the room looked a little too festive, but the captain was proud of what his team had accomplished.
Steve jumped as JARVIS announced, "Miss Potts has encountered a problem."
Everyone froze.
"What is it, JARVIS?" Steve asked, nervousness building within him. They weren't ready yet! They still had to set up the games, and not everyone was there.
The AI replied, "Mister Stark is curious about your activities. He ordered me to show him the common room, but I overrode the command and showed him footage of the room from yesterday, as Miss Potts instructed. I'm putting her through presently."
Pepper appeared as a hologram, looking desperate. "Guys," she whispered. "We need a distraction right now. Tony knows something is up."
Thinking quickly, Steve nodded in Banner's direction. "Bruce, you're on it."
The doctor shook his head. "What do I do?"
"Think up some science thing. Astrophysics," he said, confident that Banner could make it work. Stark always listened to him.
Pepper breathed a sigh. "Bruce, could you get down to the lab?" She looked down as her cell phone beeped, signifying, Steve guessed, that she had received a text message. "Happy's back with the cake."
JARVIS's cultured voice spoke again, "Sorry to interrupt, Miss Potts, but the other guests have arrived - they're waiting in the second-floor lobby. I've sent you a list."
Pepper checked her phone again and gasped. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh . . ."
"Ma'am?" Steve asked.
She took a deep breath and composed herself. "Everyone's there, but we have two party-crashers. Hill and Fury are here."
There was startled silence for a moment, and everyone turned to the assassins. Natasha looked confused, but Clint shrugged and offered, "I guess I might have mentioned it at work one day."
Steve stayed calm. This was either going to be really great or extremely, painfully, bad. There was no avoiding it, so he decided to meet it head on. "Right. Tell them to meet us here. Bruce, make sure you keep Tony out of the way until Pepper signals you otherwise. The rest of you should stay here and finish setting up."
The others nodded, and continued working, if at a faster pace than before. Bruce hurried out to find Stark, muttering about a new discovery that researchers at Columbia University had made. Pepper's image disappeared. Steve unrolled a poster and stuck it to the wall, almost completely positive that there was no way to cheat in "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." He felt a wave of nostalgia as he remembered playing the game at the few parties he'd attended during his childhood, then brushed it away. It wasn't the time or place for melancholy.
Happy came in with the cake a few minutes later, just as Banner sent Clint a text that read, It's no use; he's too suspicious. Five minutes, max.
"All right, go get changed," Steve ordered. Pepper rushed in, already in her party dress and making last-minute adjustments to the decorations. While the guys put on suit jackets, Natasha slipped out, though Steve wasn't too worried about her getting back in time - he knew from the stories that she could change faster than anyone else. The door opened, and everyone tensed, thinking that it was Stark, but instead, the remaining guests poured in: Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, Dr. Erik Selvig, who'd become a close friend of Banner's and Stark's, Jane Foster, who had also been accepted into the so-called "Science Club," and Darcy Lewis, who had become almost as permanent a fixture as Jane. Following them were Fury and Hill, who, like the others, were wearing party attire.
Everyone was talking animatedly and making introductions where they were needed, Pepper chatting with the director of SHIELD as if they were close friends. If Steve hadn't seen her initial reaction to the news that Fury had shown up uninvited, he'd have never believed that she'd been at all unsettled.
Natasha reentered the common room, dressed in her trademark black, drawing everyone's attention for a long moment. She nodded coolly to the new arrivals and took her place beside Clint, straightening his bowtie once everyone had looked away.
Steve cleared his throat. "Okay, everyone, assume positions. JARVIS, please turn off all the lights."
They all ducked behind the furniture and grabbed packs of confetti as the lights went off. From his spot behind an armchair, Steve glanced around. Thor and Jane were nearest, hidden by a couch, and he could just make out the figures of Clint and Natasha sitting atop the television console across the room. He decided that he didn't want to know how she'd gotten up there in her dress and high heels, or how she planned to get down.
Once again, the door opened unexpectedly, but it was just Banner, who stumbled over a rug before taking a place underneath the dining table. "Banner, report," Steve called in a half-whisper.
"I locked him in the lab, but he'll be up here in about thirty seconds."
"Are you sure?" Steve asked.
He imagined that the doctor was nodding. "Yes, because I told him that he wasn't allowed up here under any circumstances."
"Good plan," Steve said. Reverse psychology, if used properly, always worked on Stark. "Right, everyone quiet."
Tony was feeling pretty miffed. While it hadn't been the most effective of gestures, Bruce had just locked him in the lab, and then told him - no, ordered him - not to go to the common area. In his own house! Pepper had been acting way more strangely than usual, and to top it all off, there was something wrong with JARVIS. Some days, he wondered why the hell he had ever gotten involved in the Avengers Initiative, and then he remembered that, oh yeah, it hadn't really been a choice.
Once he'd escaped the lab, which hadn't really taken that long, JARVIS had gone silent. And either the AI was malfunctioning (unlikely), or one of Tony's esteemed teammates was messing with him. As he waited for the elevator to reach the common floor, his mind ran through the possibilities. It definitely wasn't Steve, who didn't know enough about technology to screw with JARVIS, and furthermore just wouldn't because it would be an affront to his morals. Bruce was clearly in on it, but pranks weren't his specialty and he'd probably been blackmailed into distraction duty. Thor would be participating, too, if he thought the projected outcome was funny enough, but, like Steve, he lacked the necessary tech skill. And that left the super-secret superspy duo. Tony would bet anything that Clint had thought of something for the laughs, while Natasha was just going along with it because of the personal vendetta she seemed to have against him. Pepper wouldn't have been able to stop them, or maybe she thought that this - whatever this was - was funny, too.
The elevator dinged and Tony stepped out. Purposefully, he strode down the hallway to the common area, which occupied a fourth of the floor. It was where the team could often be found congregating after tough missions or for the occasional movie night. They didn't have any right to keep him out. He was going to go there and deal with whatever diabolical scheme they were planning before it got out of hand.
He took a deep breath as he came to the door, preparing himself for anything. He reached out, slid the door open and met with darkness and stillness. Even the blinds were shut. He was about to ask JARVIS for some illumination when the lights switched on of their own accord, confetti and neon streamers assaulted him - were those Christmas lights? - and one loud, collective shout rang out. "Happy Birthday, Tony!"
And suddenly everyone he cared about was standing in front of him.
"You're twenty-seven days early," he said, falling back to his instinctual form of defense. Why had they done this? There was no reason for it. The facts just didn't add up. He shook his head slightly - the flashing strobe lights were obscuring his vision.
He spotted Clint jumping smoothly to the floor from the top of the TV console, quickly followed by Natasha. Show-offs.
He felt Rhodey clap him on the shoulder, and Pepper press a kiss to his cheek, but he wasn't looking at them. He was looking at Fury, who wore his usual stern expression, and at - was that Hill? In a dress?
This was rapidly making less and less sense.
