Looking at him hurt. It made her angry and sad. His green eyes, his delicate chin, his hands, and his character, were all reminiscent of his mother. Every time she saw his eyes she wanted to gather him into her arms and hold him close, she wanted to protect him like she couldn't protect his mother, her baby sister. But she didn't.

It was fear that held her back, and resentment. She was terrified that if she loved him, if she allowed herself to care then she would lose him, like she lost her sister. She had been close to her sister once. Until that boy told Lily that she was special. That her strange and marvellous powers were magic. That she was a witch and that she didn't really belong in her sister's world, Lily belonged in his. The Wizard world, where she could go to a school that taught magic, where she could be with people like her and him. And just like that Lily was slowly drawn away into a world that her older sister couldn't follow. A world she couldn't ever truly understand or be a part of.

Lily had left her and she, in an effort to hide her aching heart, had distanced herself from Lily and put up a wall of contempt for her magic. It turned out to be fairly easy to be disdainful of Lily, she just buried herself in her feelings of jealousy. Convincing herself that magic was "freakish" and "unnatural".

Then there had been that fateful summer after Lily's fifth year at Hogwarts. Lily had stopped being friends with the boy who had introduced her to magic, Snape. They no longer hung out together and Lily spent the summer grieving as though he had died. And it had seemed that maybe she would become disillusioned with her magical world and that she might become friends with her sister again, but it was not to be. Lily had shunned her sister's advances preferring to grieve alone, and her sibling had retreated, wounded by the rebuff, behind her wall of disdain.

But she had not yet given up, she held onto the hope that when Lily graduated, perhaps they could be close again. That also, it seemed, was not to be. Lily had fallen in love, with some rich Wizard. He had stolen Lily's heart and he had crushed her sister's hopes of retrieving their relationship.

Never the less they had tried one last time to make up. She had brought her husband Vernon and Lily had brought her husband James. The two young couples had met at a restaurant. It was awful, Vernon and James had nearly come to blows over some comments about a broomstick and Lily had left in tears.

That was last time she ever saw her sister.

It was a couple years later when she had opened her front door to leave the milk bottles out, when she had been treated with the sight of an infant in a basket on her doorstep. She had, understandably, screamed in surprise awakening the baby who stared up at her with Lily's eyes. She knew then that something awful had happened to her baby sister. After carrying the baby, whom she assumed was her nephew Harry, into the house she had read the letter that had been in the basket with him. It explained to her the importance of her keeping Harry, and how Lily had been murdered.

She hadn't cried then, she had been numb. A part of her loved the little baby, but another louder part hated him. How dare he live, while her beautiful little sister died?

She didn't know what to do so had asked Vernon what he thought. He had wanted to throw her nephew out, but she had firmly told him no. So Vernon had shoved the child into the cupboard under the stairs, and there he had stayed.

As time passed it grew easier to hate her nephew, to ignore his connection to her sister. To focus only on his resemblance to the man who had stolen her sister for the second time. To see only his abnormal and freakish powers, to hate him for living while Lily died.

And eventually she even forgot that she used to love her sister, that they had been best friends. But now as she looked into the eyes of her nephew. She realised with a sudden pang, what she had missed. Because of her jealousy and her fear of rejection she had missed out on his life. And she realised that leaving him now knowing what she had done to him and his childhood was harder than leaving after she had loved and cared for him. At least if she had loved him this feeling would just be sadness. Not the regret and grief and self-loathing she was feeling now. And she realised that she couldn't even say goodbye. Because she was afraid that if she opened her mouth she would start crying. But then Dudley, her son thanked her nephew for saving his life, and she burst into tears because she caught a glimpse of the life they might have had if she had shown even a modicum of care to her nephew. She disguised her tears as a show of pride for her son. Pride she didn't really feel.

As she dried her tears she saw that Dudley had left and it was just her and Harry.

"Well... Goodbye then." she said in a small voice and began to walk away, but, just before she left the room, she turned back. She wanted to apologise, to tell him that she really does love him, that she cares. But she couldn't, she opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come out and so she exited, giving him a small smile that she hoped was encouraging. Petunia Dursley met those green eyes for the last time and then left the house. Regret heavy in her heart and an unspoken apology on her tongue.

A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read this! Constructive criticism is welcome! I am currently working on both Severus Snape and Regulus Black.