Summary: Kara wanting to be with Lena after Lex escapes. Alternative take for 4x17.
A/N: Not sure what direction these will go in, but I just figured it'd be a place to put some shorter scenes, prompt fills, and other random thoughts.
This one is based off a pair of Tumblr posts I saw post 4x17 from narraboths and lenakluthor
You are used to this kind of fear in your chest. You are used to the way that every other feeling, every other touch, every other sound always gives way to her; to the feeling of seeing her safe, to the touch of your hand against hers, to the sound of her heartbeat in your ears.
But you are also used to holding back. You are used to careful words and quick glances. You are used to the stolen moments when you can look at her and let go of the tears you've held back, when you can let your fingers wander the contours of her jaw and try to ease away her pain.
You are used to it all, but it never makes it any easier. If anything, it gets harder.
Harder to hold back — harder to lie.
And today it is harder still.
Because today you couldn't even be there.
You had tried to follow her. Had tried to make your way next to her. But then a hand on your chest had stopped you.
You looked up into your sister's eyes, and for a second you forget that she doesn't know who you are, that she doesn't know why you need to hold Lena's hand or promise her she's safe.
You say your sister's name like a prayer.
"Alex"
Like it alone might make her remember.
But it doesn't.
And you know she can still see the pain you can never seem to hide from her, but this time she doesn't understand it.
So you let her hand fall from your chest. You let her turn around and walk away. You let her be there when you can't.
You stand just of sight with Lena just out of reach, and it's only when you find in the dissonance the one sound you have been so desperate to hear that you allow yourself to leave.
You hold onto the steady rhythm of Lena's heartbeat for hours.
You hold onto it until you finally see her again.
Alex had called you, had told you what had happened like you didn't already know, like you hadn't been waiting.
And now your hand hesitates against the door in front of you. The sound of her footsteps getting closer as each second grows longer. You can hear the switch of every lock, the turn of each knob, aware of every little thing still keeping you from her.
The door opens, and you barely hear her say your name as you step forward to wrap your arms around her. And at least you can be thankful that you are able to hold her like this now, that you are both in her doorway and not the DEO where you cannot afford to wear your heart so openly.
You close your eyes and take in every detail of her. The soft cotton fabric of her shirt, the damp ends of her hair, the gentle smell of nectarine and honey.
"I was so worried."
You feel her arms tighten, feel them hold onto you in their own kind of desperation and their own kind of need. You feel the tears that fall onto your shoulder and the tremor of her hands.
"You happy to see me?"
You can hear the subtle waiver in her voice, the quiet laugh meant to belie her fears.
"Yeah"
And that one word feels stupid to say and too simple to be meaningful. But then Lena's voice is just as quiet in return, the words just as simple.
"Thank You."
And you know that both are tasked with so much more, that they hold answers and promises that have been left unsaid but never unproven.
Thanks for reading...Let me know what you think here or else you can come yell at me on Tumblr too vox-ex.
