A/N I don't own the concept/plot/story of Harry Potter, JK Rowling does (Lucky duck)

HARVARD PANTRY

By Stikky

Once upon a time, Harvard Pantry got a letter of acceptance to Pig Mole's Juvenile Delinquent Facility. The head guard of Pig Mole's was a man named Alan Bumblebee.

Every one knew that Bumblebee was crazy, but Harvard thought he was wise and powerful. Harvard made friends with a dude named Rancid Salanmandly.

He was called Ran for short. A poor family of cockroaches raised Ran. One boy – or girl (the guards aren't quite sure which) became friends with Harvard.

His/Her name was Herpes. People told Harvard that Herpes was known as the girly-est boy or tomboyish girl. Harvard thought Herpes was sexy.

Harvard often heard people talk about him and point at his joint shaped scar on his left butt cheek. He asked Ran about it and Ran told him that he was the son of the most famous Drug Lord of the mortal world.

Harvard was impressed with his family history. But, Ran warned him that Sgt. Volvoxmord- the most evil guard in the world- killed his parents and that he was most likely planning to kill Harvard.

Harvard thought that was funny. "Who would want to kill me," He thought. "I'm so sexy!" But in reality, Harvard was not sexy and Volvoxmord was planning on killing him. One day, Harvard heard voices calling him into the "Special Room".

The "Special Room" was in the deepest, darkest, scariest part of Pig Mole's. Harvard slowly made his way to the "Special Room". He thought it was Herpes calling him so that they could make out.

When he finally got to the "Special Room" he sat in a chair and waited. Suddenly he felt a strange feeling through out his body. Then he turned to ash. Sgt. Volvoxmord laughed evilly. He has "accidentally" turned the electricity on. Oopsies!

Herpes was looking all over for Harvard. He/She went into the "Special Room" and saw some ashes with a joint shaped marking in the middle. Herpes tried to scream. Then Volvoxmord ate him/her. Every one was happy.

THE END

A/N Hahaha my friends thought this was funny, but if you don't that's ok. Flame me for all I care. Those flames just help keep the fires of Hell burning!