Hi! So I got this prompt sent in from sarahleenyc on tumblr, to basically do a time traveling April fanfic where she changes her life, I've got a pretty solid plan of where I want this story to go as well ideas from the original prompt so I hope it's enjoyed and I know the whole idea is pretty complicated but I tried to make sure it made sense! Hopefully it will!

Hope. It's a funny thing. Some people have it, believe in it, - need it. Some people don't, they don't have a thread of faith in them, they'll trust themselves, they'll trust their instinct. April Kepner has always been the first type of person. She was raised that way, to believe, and to love and live and lead a life full of hope. She has always been this way, she has always been a painful optimistic, 'the glass is always half empty ', there is good in everything type of girl. Always. Well, she used to be.

It all happened so fast, the whole day did. The sudden realisation she had that morning, the unexpected pregnancy, and finally a divorce, you really can't think a day like that can get any worse. See, you really shouldn't think like that, because as soon as you do, the universe holds it middle finger up and says 'Fuck You'.

The trauma surgeon first felt her feet fly off the peddles, like their were floating in the air, then the rush of her head hit the car ceiling, it was just meant to be a simple swerve, she was avoiding another car, she didn't know what happened. But suddenly, everything was spinning, her heart rushing faster than ever before, the feeling of a breathlessness in her airway, and just like the rest of that day it ended so quickly. It happened so fast.

"If something feels this good it can't be bad, right?" April gasped out, her hands rested upon her best friends waist, and her eyes desperately searching into his. She's felt this before or has she? This overwhelming beat in her chest, the inevitable smile growing across her face and he latches into her small frame, the way she reassures him, promises him, that it's okay, wants this, she wants him, she's sure she's felt this before, felt this much love for him, but she can't because she's April Kepner, and she's a 29 year old virgin, everyone knows it, so why is her head mumbled up, why does she seem to know for herself? The redhead was raised to believe in God, and everything God does, has to have purpose and a meaning, so maybe she's here in this moment for a purpose, maybe God's letting re-live one of the best moments of her life, April felt her best friend lips tug onto her again, swiftly lifts her up and pull her into the hotel room. So she decides that if she has the chance to re-live this moment again, then she will. Even though she knows this isn't right, she knows the future for herself, she knows this isn't real, and her and Jackson don't work out, but she has a chance now to re-live this moment, to fix it, to live it the right way. So she will.

"Wow, that was really great. You were really great." Jackson reminisces, turning at smile up at her, she giggles in agreement, it feels strange, she thinks, to know that she's felt this before, she's lived this before, she knows what he's going to say and what he's going to do, unless of course she changes it. Jackson pulls her attention back towards him, when he asks her if they're glad they did it, she nods, deciding that if she's allowed to re-live this one moment, then she's sure as hell allowed to change it. April leans her hand up to stroke the plastic surgeon cheeks, and he leans down and captures her slow and soft kiss, different from any of those kisses they've shared prior, well different to him. "We should get some sleep." He whispers to her and she nods in agreement, "Will you stay with me? Please?" Jackson doesn't even hesitate before nodding and scooping her body into his to lay next to her. Honestly, she's curious, if she did let him stay that night, in her reality, would anything have changed, would it have worked out better? Less complicated? Mentally cursing herself for what she's about to do, she calls out to him the darkness of their now shared hotel room, he murmurs an acknowledgement to her, so she somehow finds the courage to speak up. "Jackson, I - I'm religious. I love Jesus. And God, and faith. I am a person of faith, and that was when I was a virgin, and I know I should've told you, but I guess I was scared to tell you, and I'm not saying I regret what happened tonight, I just - I just wanted you to know, that's why, I would have loved to be a virgin for the man I'm gonna marry but I won't and I'm going to choose to believe that was God's plan." April falls breathless after her confession, worried about the silent reaction she is receiving from the plastic surgeon beside her. "April, I'm sorry." She holds his hands, "No. Don't be. You were right, you were always right. I shouldn't have blamed you, this was a thing we did together, you were right." April notices his confused expression, forgetting that she knows in 'the future' or 'other life' - so she cuts herself off. "I know, it's complicated." She finishes, turning to look at him, he lifts his thumb to push a fallen tear away from her eye, "Sometimes you have no control over what happens in life, but that's what's so great about it, right?" He comforts, "Right." She agrees with a shy smile on her lip, she closes her eyes. The redhead guesses this is her end, that's it over, that she's either reached the end of her life, or at least still won't be living in her past one. She gushes at the feeling of Jackson rubbing circles in her back, wishing she could hold on to that forever, she drifts off, knowing that she can't.

The familiar sensation of him rubbing her back is what she wakes up to. She certainly wasn't expecting that, she expected a flashing bright light and the pearly gates, or maybe the sound of her heart monitor and the cold air of a hospital room, she had plenty of possibilities in her head, but this isn't one, she's not still meant to be living in this moment, the past, she knows what happens from here, she fails her boards, the plane crash, the pregnancy scare, the break up, him with Stephanie and her with Matthew, the wedding, their wedding, Samuel, her leaving, the divorce, and now where she is, or perhaps was, a new pregnancy and a car crash, she remembers it all, she knows her life and their tragic love story, she's memorised it all. So she knows this doesn't happen, after she lost her virginity, she didn't not wake up in Jackson's soothing arms, so maybe she has changed it. Maybe this is the chance her faith gave her, maybe she can change it all.