Title: Dream and Duty
Author: Seraz
Rating: K+
Pairing: Moiraine/Lan, Nynaeve/Lan
A/N: Should be read before my story True Love. But it doesn't really matter
EDITED: Some grammar and small mistakes
Summary: Moiraine has a dream, but she knows what her duty is
So many times I have wished that you loved, like I love you. Ever since the beginning I loved you deep in my heart. You're strong and loyal. Wherever or whatever I have wanted, you have done it without complain.
But I have seen the way you look at the girl. You don't think I have noticed, but I have. She has tear down your walls, your protection.
You have always stood by me, steady. Faithful and protective, you have always guarded me. Your life hasn't meant anything for you. You protected me with steel and tongue.
Now you barely notice me. She has caught your eyes and your heart. You haven't realized it yet, but I have. I hope that the girl doesn't hurt you. I swear to the Light if she does I will kill her.
Even though I love you and want you for myself, you should be with her. She makes you happy, at least so happy as a rock could be. You have been my rock in bad weather and in all the complicated Games we Aes Sedais play.
You have always been the one I depended on. You have almost gotten yourself killed to save my life, more than one time. And I have never felt so safe as when I am in your arms.
But now your arms are around her. She's the one you care of the most. I can feel it. The way you look at her, with love and lust, the way I want you to look at me.
You have despite death. You're more careful now, you want to live, for her I guess. She's the one who keeps you alive, not me. It has never been me and it will never be me.
I fell for you as fast as I fell into that pond, that cold spring day. I was young and stubborn. I am still stubborn, but no longer young and innocent. We have never kissed, but in my dreams we are lovers.
You're tender and powerful. Oh how I wish that you were mine. I wonder how long it will take before you ask me to free you from your bond. For now I own you in a way that makes your little girl jealous. That thought gives me some comfort.
I know I have chosen a life without love. When I left for the Tower I expected an upside down life. I kissed Cormanes for the last time the night before I left. I had no thoughts of love whatsoever.
Love was for fools, and look at me now! I am a fool in love with my gaidin. I have hidden my feelings deep inside, so you don't sense anything. I really wished I could tell you how much I love you.
But you would probably reject me, as you rejected the girl that night. Yes, you thought I was asleep, but I wasn't the only one who listened. One of the boys was awake too. We heard your lovers quarrel. But you aren't lovers yet, are you? No, but you will be. I can feel it in your spirits. One day, when I am gone you two will get married.
My heart breaks into thousand pieces of the thought of you close together. I really love you, but we have a duty to fulfill. We need to take care of the young ones. It is a honor. And honor means everything for you men of the Borderlands.
We have to make sure that Rand is prepared and alive for the Last battle. He needs to be ready to fight back the Dark side.
I know what we have to do and I know how you feel. I can read you like an open book. But you don't care, not of me and not of the war we're fighting. All you care about is that girl.
One day I hope I get to say this…
"I, Moiraine Damodred, love you al'Lan Mandragoran, the Last king of Malkier!"
