THIS ISN'T HAPPENING

BY

HENRIETTE MOUSTAKIS

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

FADE IN:

INT. COFFEEHOUSE. PRESENT. DAY.

A young man sits in a coffeehouse. His name is JOHN WINTERS and is approximately thirty-five years old. He looks anxiously out a window. Another man across the street sees him and waves. He enters the coffeehouse. He is the same age and is named BILL CARPENTER. Bill sits down.

BILL CARPENTER

So, John, what's the urgency?

JOHN WINTERS

I wanted you to be the first one who saw this. As you know I just came back from Chicago.

BILL CARPENTER

Tell me about it. No one could find you. It's like you just disappeared. Where the hell were you?

JOHN WINTERS

I was living at the Historical Society.

BILL CARPENTER

A museum?

JOHN WINTERS

It's library. I was doing research. I've come up with a great idea for a screenplay.

(pulls out black folder)

I've found a fascinating new character. In here is his life story. The best part is that it's all true. I have so much information I don't know where to begin.

BILL CARPENTER

Who is this person?

JOHN WINTERS

How many serial killers do you know about?

BILL CARPENTER

Tons. They're my best friends. Who is he, Gacy?

JOHN WINTERS

Better, or worse, depending on how you see it. He went by the alias of H. H. Holmes. His real name is Herman Mudgett. He killed over a hundred people.

BILL CARPENTER

And now's he's dead?

JOHN WINTERS

Yes.

BILL CARPENTER

Good. Then leave him there. There is enough trouble in this world without digging up more.

JOHN WINTERS

I can't. He's all I've been thinking about. This guy could make me rich. HBO would love it.

BILL CARPENTER

You won't quit till you tell me, will you?

JOHN WINTERS

You know me like a book, Bill.

BILL CARPENTER

Well, get it over with.

JOHN WINTERS

You won't be sorry.

(opens folder to picture)

This is his picture.

BILL CARPENTER

(looking at it)

He's a real lady-killer. What year is this?

JOHN WINTERS

It's 1890. That's probably why you haven't heard about him.

BILL CARPENTER

I'm not that old.

JOHN WINTERS

Do you remember the World's Fair of 1893?

BILL CARPENTER

Like it was yesterday.

JOHN WINTERS

Well, he had a boarding house on the corner of 63rd and Wallace in Englewood. Tourists would check in and not check out, alive that is.

BILL CARPENTER

What did he do?

JOHN WINTERS

The girls he played with, and it didn't matter if they were alive or dead.

BILL CARPENTER

Nice guy.

JOHN WINTERS

Then he would kill them using chloroform or gas, put the bodies in a greased chute that lead to the basement and then he would dissect or articulate them.

BILL CARPENTER

What was that last bit?

JOHN WINTERS

He skinned them and sold the skeletons to medical schools. He didn't stop there. At one time he had three wives, all living. The rest he killed off and-

BILL CARPENTER

Articulated. I get the message.

JOHN WINTERS

He even killed his accomplice, Benjamin Pitezel, and three of his children. Bill, now you see why I find him fascinating?

BILL CARPENTER

(giving him back his folder)

John, you have lost it. I have been published twice but this...this.. . It's too sick and should be forgotten.

JOHN WINTERS

Bill, there is a strong market for true crime. CSI is a top show.

BILL CARPENTER

Even CSI wouldn't touch this guy. Why is he so special, beside the body count?

JOHN WINTERS

He was America's first urban serial killer.

BILL CARPENTER

Well, good for him. John, I know you're desperately trying to find a subject people will buy, but Herman should stay buried. What ever happened to him?

JOHN WINTERS

He was hung in Philadelphia on May 7th, 1896.

BILL CARPENTER

Then leave him there. I'm sorry you wasted your time doing this research, but it's bad news.

JOHN WINTERS

My agent loves it.

BILL CARPENTER

Your agent is a sick man. He loves Jason and Freddie films. I'm going to get my coffee. When I come back I want you to talk about something else.

Bill leaves. John shakes his head and puts the folder away. The NARRATOR steps in.

NARRATOR

John Winters, a starving writer, needs desperately to sell a screenplay. He believes he's found the perfect character. Before he's through he's going to wish it wasn't happening. Little does he know his choice has just brought him into the Twilight Zone.

CUT TO:

SCENE TWO

INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.

John is keying in front of his computer. He looks at his notes. In front of him is a picture of a young woman. Below the picture is the name Emeline Cigrand with the years 1867-1892. He turns off his computer and looks at the picture.

JOHN WINTERS

Goodnight Emeline. See you tomorrow.

He gets into bed and looks at the clock. It reads 10:30 p.m.. He turns off the light.

CUT TO:

SCENE THREE

EXT. PARK. DAY.

John wakes up on a park bench. He looks around. He is by a train station. Antique trains come and go. People walk by in similar dress. The women are wearing long dresses. Their hair is up and all are wearing large hats. The men are in suits and most have fedora hats. He looks at himself. He is dressed the same way. He taps his head, finds the hat and takes it off to look at it.

JOHN WINTERS

What the hell? Where am I?

He looks across the street and sees a three-story building. The first floor has a set of stores and the second and third look residential. He walks up to the corner and reads the street sign.

JOHN WINTERS

63rd and Wallace? This can't be. This has to be a dream. I have to start getting a life.

He walks over to a newsstand and sees a paper. The date is December 21st, 1892.

JOHN WINTERS

This can't be.

He looks back at the building. He leans against a lamppost in shock.

JOHN WINTERS

It's the Castle. This can't be happening.

A DOG runs up to him and scares him. A man follows the dog and grabs him by the collar. He is C.E. DAVIS.

C.E. DAVIS

Sorry, mister. He got away. This is his favorite lamppost. You know bathroom time.

The dog starts licking John's hand.

C.E. DAVIS

He likes you. Come here, boy.

(grabs his collar)

He likes everybody.

JOHN WINTERS

(petting dog)

That's okay. He's adorable.

C.E. DAVIS

He's a little too friendly. Nothing bothers him, except-?

JOHN WINTERS

Except what?

C.E. DAVIS

He won't cross the street. He does and he turns, even at me. My name is Davis. I have the jewelry store across the street.

JOHN WINTERS

(looking across street)

C. E. Davis?

C.E. DAVIS

Yes. How did you know? Have we met?

JOHN WINTERS

Only on paper.

John holds his head and has a dizzy spell. Davis grabs him.

C.E. DAVIS

You don't look so good. Why don't you sit down?

He helps him to the bench.

JOHN WINTERS

This can't be happening.

C.E. DAVIS

What can't? Look, I live in the neighborhood. Let me drop off my dog and I'll be right back. I'll take you to the Castle and take care of you. You just wait here.

(grabs dog's collar)

Let's go, boy.

Davis walks away. John stares at the building.

JOHN WINTERS

This can't be happening.

He looks up as it starts to snow. It is definitely winter.

CUT TO:

SCENE FOUR

INT. JEWELRY STORE. DAY. - MOMENTS LATER

John and Davis enter the store. There are several glass cases and a chair in the corner. Davis puts him in the chair.

C.E. DAVIS

You just sit there. I'll go see the druggist.

(under his breath)

It's a shame Mr. Holmes isn't here. He'd know what to do.

JOHN WINTERS

Holmes?

C.E. DAVIS

My landlord. He owns the building. I'll be right back.

Davis leaves. John stands and approaches the counter. In it are NEW antique watches. He looks out the window and sees people, cars and buggies move about.

JOHN WINTERS

Bill will never believe this. I sure don't.

Davis returns with a glass.

C.E. DAVIS

He suggested some orange juice. I don't know why.

He hands him the glass.

JOHN WINTERS

It adjusts a person's sugar level. That's why they give diabetics candy bars.

C.E. DAVIS

Are you diabetic?

JOHN WINTERS

No, at least I don't think so.

C.E. DAVIS

I never got your name.

JOHN WINTERS

It's John-.

A young woman enters. She is twenty-four and very attractive. She is EMELINE CIGRAND. Davis turns.

C.E. DAVIS

Miss Cigrand?

EMELINE CIGRAND

Mr. Davis?

JOHN WINTERS

(under his breath)

Cigrand?

C.E. DAVIS

What can I do for you?

EMELINE CIGRAND

It's time for the rent.

C.E. DAVIS

Already?

He walks over to the register and opens it.

C.E. DAVIS

It seems like yesterday I gave it to you. It's amazing how fast a month goes.

(gives her envelope)

Here it is.

She puts it in her bag and sees John for the first time.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Who's your friend?

C.E. DAVIS

I was about to find out when you came in. My dog attacked him in the park and he had a dizzy spell. I brought him in to help him.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Try orange juice. That always helps.

C.E. DAVIS

And who told you that?

EMELINE CIGRAND

My cousin. He's a doctor.

Davis goes over to John, who has put down the glass.

C.E. DAVIS

Miss Cigrand, this is-?

JOHN WINTERS

John Winters.

C.E. DAVIS

Mr. Winters? This is Miss Cigrand. She's Mister Holmes assistant.

JOHN WINTERS

Emeline Cigrand?

EMELINE CIGRAND

Yes. Do I know you?

C.E. DAVIS

That's the second time you've known our first names. Are you from here?

JOHN WINTERS

No. I'm from Boston. At least I was when I went to sleep.

C.E. DAVIS

Excuse me?

JOHN WINTERS

(taking her arm)

Miss Cigrand, I must speak to you, in private.

EMELINE CIGRAND

(pulling away arm)

I do not know you sir. We have just met. There is NO way I will see you in private.

JOHN WINTERS

Then meet me by the bench across the street. Mr. Davis can watch you from here. I assure you nothing will happen.

EMELINE CIGRAND

This is quite irregular. Will you watch us, Mr. Davis?

C.E. DAVIS

Of course.

JOHN WINTERS

I'll go to the bench first.

He leaves the store.

C.E. DAVIS

Careful, Miss Cigrand. He doesn't seem dangerous but he's certainly confused. If you have any problems just motion and I'll be right there.

(looks out window.)

I have never seen someone so out of place.

CUT TO:

SCENE FIVE

EXT. PARK. DAY. - MOMENTS LATER

Emeline approaches John who is sitting on the bench shaking his head.

JOHN WINTERS

This is not happening.

EMELINE CIGRAND

What, Mr. Winters?

JOHN WINTERS

Please, sit down.

EMELINE CIGRAND

No thank you. I'd rather stand.

JOHN WINTERS

Believe me. You'll want to sit. You don't have to sit close.

She cautiously sits at the end of the bench.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Well?

JOHN WINTERS

You don't know me but I know you. Actually I know ABOUT you.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I'm leaving.

She starts to rise.

JOHN WINTERS

You're engaged to a man named Robert A. Phelps.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Yes. Everyone knows that. Are you a friend of Robert's?

JOHN WINTERS

I've only met him on paper.

EMELINE CIGRAND

You're not making sense. What papers?

JOHN WINTERS

His real name is not Phelps. It's Benjamin Pitezel and he lives here in Chicago with his wife, Carrie, and their five children.

EMELINE CIGRAND

You're crazy! Why should I believe you?

JOHN WINTERS

In April of this year you were employed at the Keeley Institute in Dwight, Illinois. Phelps was a patient there. He stayed a little over a month.

EMELINE CIGRAND

How do you know that?

JOHN WINTERS

You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Trust me when I say you have to leave Chicago before it's too late.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Why? You're beginning to scare me.

JOHN WINTERS

In April of this year you followed Phelps, who is really Pitezel, to Chicago. You had an interview with his employer, Mr. Holmes. You accepted the position when he agreed to pay you eighteen dollars a week and twenty after one year.

EMELINE CIGRAND

No one knows that.

JOHN WINTERS

You arrived with eight hundred dollars of your own money that Holmes put into the Castle vault.

EMELINE CIGRAND

You are scaring me. I'm leaving.

JOHN WINTERS

Yes, you have to. Leave Chicago, right now. Forget Phelps.

She stands.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I love Robert!

JOHN WINTERS

Then how come you haven't seen him since you arrived?

EMELINE CIGRAND

He's always out of town. Mr. Holmes is always sending him away.

JOHN WINTERS

He has too. He doesn't want you two to meet.

EMELINE CIGRAND

How dare you insult Mr. Holmes? He is an honorable man. He has never done ANYTHING to hurt me.

JOHN WINTERS

He will, and soon.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I'm leaving. I don't even know why I agreed to see you. You are crazy. What's he going to do? Tell me.

JOHN WINTERS

I can't. It's too hard to believe.

EMELINE CIGRAND

And so are your lies about Robert. Robert loves me and as soon as he returns we will be married. Good-bye, Mr. Winters!

She goes back across the street into the jewelry store to a waiting Mr. Davis. John stands and goes back to the lamppost.

JOHN WINTERS

This has to be a dream. When will I wake up?

CUT TO:

SCENE SIX

EXT. PARK. DAY. - LATER

John is still sitting on the bench. Mr. Davis watches him carefully. It is later in the day. He hasn't moved because he has nowhere else to go. A man approaches him and stands behind him but John can't see him. Emeline runs out of the building to the bench and stands before him.

EMELINE CIGRAND

How did you know?

JOHN WINTERS

(looking up)

Know what?

EMELINE CIGRAND

Mr. Holmes just made ungentlemanly advances to me. Did he tell you?

JOHN WINTERS

No, I never met him.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Except on paper, whatever that means.

JOHN WINTERS

What will you do now?

EMELINE CIGRAND

I quit. I'm going tomorrow at ten to get the money he owes me.

JOHN WINTERS

(rising and grabbing her arm)

No! You mustn't! He won't let you leave.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I demand to know how you know!

JOHN WINTERS

Then sit down and I'll tell you.

She does.

JOHN WINTERS

I'm not from Chicago. I'm from Boston. This is the part you won't believe. I'm not sure I believe it myself. The last thing I remember was turning off my computer and going to bed.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Turning off your what?

JOHN WINTERS

I come from the year 2003. You might say I'm a time traveler.

EMELINE CIGRAND

So is H. G. Wells. You've probably read his book "The Time Machine".

JOHN WINTERS

And seen all the movies. I prefer the original. Sequels always suck.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I beg your pardon! You're talking to a lady.

JOHN WINTERS

Emeline, I'm a writer. I haven't sold anything in a couple years. My agent suggested I find a subject that's more gritty, more biting. I came across Mudgett by accident.

EMELINE CIGRAND

What's a mudgett?

JOHN WINTERS

It's a who. Herman Mudgett is the Mr. Holmes real name. He comes from Gilmanton, New Hampshire. He has a wife named Clara and a son named Theodore.

EMELINE CIGRAND

You're wrong. He's married to Dora-

JOHN WINTERS

Belknap, and they have a daughter Lucy. They live in Wilmette. I already know that. Everyone who's done research on Mudgett does. Emeline, Mudgett is a VERY bad man. He's infamous.

EMELINE CIGRAND

For what?

JOHN WINTERS

History will see him as America's first urban multi-murderer in history. We use the term Serial Killer where I come from. Your name came up in my research. You're one of his victims.

EMELINE CIGRAND

You're mad.

JOHN WINTERS

He told you to come to his office, right?

EMELINE CIGRAND

Yes?

JOHN WINTERS

He said he has your money safely in the vault, didn't he?

EMELINE CIGRAND

Yes.

JOHN WINTERS

Don't go! He's going to lock you in there and then-

EMELINE CIGRAND

Then what?

JOHN WINTERS

Gas you to death. It's how he killed Lizzie Knotts. She was pregnant with Quinlan's baby. He asked Holmes to help him and Holmes killed her. She was the first to die in the vault. You can't see it but he has a connection in his office. All he has to do is turn it on and you're dead. That's what he's going to do to you. And then he'll—

EMELINE CIGRAND

He'll what? What will he do next? You're the storyteller?

JOHN WINTERS

I can't. Just please believe me. Leave Chicago while you can.

EMELINE CIGRAND

Without the money? What will I live on?

JOHN WINTERS

Send for your cousins. They'll come and get you. I'll protect you till they do. It's the least I can do. Don't you see? WE have a chance to change history for the better. GO! Wire them right now.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I'm going all right, away from you. I've heard your story and I don't believe a word. Mr. Holmes may be a scoundrel but he is NO murderer. He is not this Mudgett person. You're mistaken. Your story is all lies.

JOHN WINTERS

It's not. You have to believe me. He's pure evil. The Castle is evil. Haven't you noticed how people are always disappearing?

EMELINE CIGRAND

They leave on their own.

JOHN WINTERS

Did Peter Vetter leave? What about Mandy Strothers, the maid? Where are they? They were there for years.

EMELINE CIGRAND

I've heard enough. I'm going to forget this conversation and get my money, and leave.

(rising)

Good-day, Mr. Winters! Don't forget to move your time machine before the Morlocks do.

She walks off. He starts to go after her but is stopped by a buggy.

JOHN WINTERS

Emeline, wait! There's more, alot more.

(walks over to bench)

What was I thinking? How can I change history? All those people will still die.

The man comes out from behind. It is the man from the picture, HERMAN MUDGETT. There is a sudden gust of wind and John's hat flies across the street into the alley by the Castle. He follows it. So does Herman. In the alley he bends down to pick it up when a brick hits him on the head and he collapses. The camera pans up to show Mudgett smiling.

CUT TO:

SCENE SEVEN

INT. BASEMENT. NIGHT. - LATER

John wakes up. He is tied to a medieval rack. He tries fighting to free himself but can't. He hears footsteps approaching. He sees shadows turn into Mudgett himself. Mudgett walks over to the controls.

HERMAN MUDGETT

Good, you're awake. I was wondering what took so long.

JOHN WINTERS

You hit me?

HERMAN MUDGETT

Yes, I did, Mr. Winters. And then I tied you to my rack.

JOHN WINTERS

You mean your elasticity determinator?

HERMAN MUDGETT

Very good. No one else knows that. But then you know alot of things. You know about Lizzie, Vetter and Mandy. You even know about Clara.

JOHN WINTERS

I know all about you.

HERMAN MUDGETT

That's very fascinating and I would love to sit and talk but time is pressing. I have to kill you.

(walks over to him)

I heard your explanation to Emeline and found it very interesting. Time travel is an interesting theory. I would love to do it myself. Just think of the harm I could do.

JOHN WINTERS

Been there, did that in the sequel. Only it was Jack the Ripper.

HERMAN MUDGETT

As usual I don't understand your references and, unfortunately, I never will. But enough chat. I have to get to work.

(goes to controls)

It's time to get rid of you. Shame though. You're a fine specimen. No medical school will want you after I get through with you.

JOHN WINTERS

Sorry, you were robbed the articulation.

HERMAN MUDGETT

(looking back at John)

My, you are knowledgeable.

(starts working controls)

You will be of some use. I simply love dissections.

JOHN WINTERS

You won't get away with this.

HERMAN MUDGETT

Don't tell me. Mr. Wells will come and save you.

JOHN WINTERS

This is all a dream and I'll wake up. I know it.

HERMAN MUDGETT

(walking back to John)

Correction, this is a nightmare and it hasn't begun to start. If you'll excuse me.

He goes back to the controls and starts turning. John begins screaming.

HERMAN MUDGETT

How does it feel, Mr. Winters? In a few moments you should feel your bones snap. Then you'll feel them pulling apart. What are you? Correction, what were you? Five eleven or so? By the time I get through with you you'll be much taller.

(aside)

I wonder. If a man from the future dies in the past, will he still be alive in the future? That is an interesting question. My, what a brilliant mind I have.

JOHN WINTERS

God! Please let me wake up!

HERMAN MUDGETT

Your God will not help you. You can scream all you want. This room is sound proof.

JOHN WINTERS

Please! Stop this! This isn't happening! NO!

HERMAN MUDGETT

It's almost over. Just a few more clicks.

JOHN WINTERS

NO! HELP!

HERMAN MUDGETT

Scream all you want, but don't take so long. Emeline is waiting for me upstairs.

John screams again as the camera goes outside the closed room where no sound can be heard.

CUT TO:

SCENE EIGHT

INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.

It is John's modern bedroom. Nothing has changed. Research still lies on his computer table. Only John is missing. Two men enter. They are Bill and the SUPERINTENDANT.

BILL CARPENTER

I don't know where he went. He's been gone for two weeks.

SUPERINTENDANT

His mail is getting behind. He's even behind in his rent and he never is. His beds not slept in. Maybe he's out of town again?

BILL CARPENTER

It's not the first time he disappeared.

SUPERINTENDANT

Check his desk. He was working on something.

BILL CARPENTER

No need. It won't tell you anything. I'm calling the police.

SUPERINTENDANT

Well, let's go. I'll lock up.

The two men leave. The camera goes to John's desk and his research. A list is by the computer. It has the names of all Holmes victims and approximate dates of death. The camera pans down the list till it hits the name of Emeline Cigrand. Under her name is John Winters. Both are listed under December 1892.

FADE OUT: