1.1 Forever Is Meaningless





2 By RavenWolf



Angel is gorgeous. I'd forgotten just how, though. He's deep and dark, and his mysterious eyes speak of incredible times and pain. Pain. It's always present. I would like to say that I understood, but I don't. I don't think I ever will. His hair sticks up in an adorable way, because he hasn't seen his reflection to comb it for over two hundred years.

It's obvious to anyone that his soul is a blessing rather than a curse. He hasn't killed since he was Angelus. He seems to have made a good name for himself in L.A. Or maybe the soul is a curse. If Spike could love me without a soul, why couldn't he? Is Angel just a false person, created by some magick spell? Does it even matter?

We're like two sides of the same coin, him and I. He's dark, I'm light, but we're both essentially the same.

It makes my heart swell everytime he walks into the room. I catch my breath every time he gets jealous, or over-protective. It makes me love him more, to see how much he cares. Or how he used to care. How much he would have given, just to protect me. I snort. Hah. Eternal love for Angel doesn't seem to last for more than a year or two.

But he knows, he knows that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. He also knows that it's nice for me, not to have to watch my own back all the time. I love him so much. It crushes me to see him in pain, mental or physical.

That's why it hurts, hurts so deeply to watch him walk into my living room, with Cordelia clinging to him. That's right. Cordelia. Former May Queen bitch of the year. God, no. I feel tears spring unbidden to my eyes. To think of all the times she told me that he would be hers, that she was the Slayer when it came to dating. How many times Willow reassured me that she wasn't his type. That I was the only one for him. Even he told me that he would love me forever, that he couldn't live without me. What a load of shit.