In the Most Inconvenient Ways

I haven't written any Sellie stories in a while, and since my Degrassi muses are working again, I figured why not!

I'm not really sure where this came from… I was watching Degrassi Goes Hollywood (again) and the scene in the airport when Ellie sees a soldier coming home to his wife and children, and how it makes her cry because she's thinking about her dad. And then I started thinking about Sean… and Ellie… and her dad. And I've always wondered what she thought about Sean coming back to Emma, anyway. Whatever. This author's note is way longer than it needs to be…

Just read it. Enjoy!

At the beginning of her freshman year of college, Ellie hears that Sean Cameron has returned to Degrassi. As she is checking the local paper for journalism ideas, she finds the story of his arrest. He ran into a pedestrian during an illegal street race. He was kicked out of school after marijuana was found in his locker. He is (was?) dating Emma Nelson (which she discovers later from Paige, not the newspaper).

Needless to say, Ellie sets down the paper angry and confused. He never called her. He could've had the decency to call, especially after never returning her letters. Especially after leaving her with a rent she couldn't pay. He could've at least said something to her instead of running into the arms of Emma without a word.

Emma. They haven't been together for years. It seems out of the blue to her, very strange, but she won't question him. There once was a day when he was her everything, but those days are gone.

Still, she can't help thinking that the Sean she knew never would've done drugs, and he certainly never would've been in a street race, harmed someone, and got sent to jail. He was too good for that. He even gave up partying, with Ellie at his side. He was going to be the first person in his family to graduate high school. It just doesn't make any sense.

But still, she won't question it. It isn't her place.

Months later, he is out of prison and still dating Greenpeace. He is even going into the service. Paige tells her in detail about how Emma freaked out over an imaginary pregnancy just to get him to stay. She raises her eyebrows at this, thinking Paige's source of information (Alex) is exaggerating, but it turns out to be true. Though she finds Emma pathetic for lying to him, she can't help sympathizing. If she was still dating Sean, she wouldn't want him to go either.

No, of course not. After a whole life of watching her father walk away from her, of waiting and worrying, of surviving hell at home and then lying about it, she never could let her boyfriend do the same thing. Good thing she gave up on him long ago.

Later, she hears all about Emma stripping in school and kissing other boys. She supposes this means they broke up. When he returns from basic training and prepares to go off to war, she worries for him. She worries, just like she always has. What's one more soldier added to the list?

She watches him at the bus stop, sitting all alone. No family, no ex-girlfriend. Maybe he didn't want anyone to come. Maybe he wants to be alone. She knows what that's like. But for some reason, as the soldiers are saying goodbye, she can't help approaching him.

"Ellie? What--" he stands up, surprised. She shrugs.

"I couldn't help it. If you see my dad, say hi for me, okay?"

"That's right. Your dad… I forgot."

"Just so you know… I'm really proud of you, Sean."

"Thanks."

They stand, staring. There are so many things to say, and yet nothing at all.

"I can't stay, but maybe I'll see you one day."

"Yeah. One day."

She leaves quickly, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. She can't help herself. Even though they no longer love each other, it's just so familiar… She's lost count of all the times she's seen her father off in places just like this, the tears buried deep inside. This is something he has to do, but it still hurts. It always will.

Ellie can't help thinking again about how lucky she is. That her dreams hadn't come true, that she and Sean hadn't stayed together and one day gotten married. He would've become a soldier anyway, no matter what she said. He would've left her behind, just like all of the men in her life.

It's been hard enough to be an army brat her entire life. The daughter of a proud soldier, left all alone. There is no way she could've handled being an army wife.