[A/N: As you should know, I don't own the IZ characters. Gawd I wish I did.
But I do own Ciar, the wolf that will eventually make a cameo in this fic.]


Once there was a wicked, wicked hamster with unholy powers.
No one cared.


In other news...

"CHANGA CHANGA BLUE!" screamed Boobichoobi, the pshycotic school bus driver to the dismay of his
momma-wailin' charges. One of the children, an odd pointy-haired fellow fought his way through
the terrified masses of his peers to the driver.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CRAZY MONKEY?!" The big-headed child cried frantically, waving his thumbed
hands in the face of Boobichoobi. Boobichoobi's jaw unhinged and he screamed in an ungodly way,
sending the earth-stink to the filthy bus-floor.


Zim looked up with a disturbing grunt from his pleasent day dream into the sinisterly
glowing spectacles of Ms. Bitters. The horrible old woman hissed and dissolved, reappearing behind her desk.

"You doomed children. You and a doomed partner must create a doomed report upon the perpetual
doom of the doomed doominess of the...CHEESE CUBE!!!!!!"

A few children screamed, and Old Kid fell to the floor, writhing, spit foaming at the corners of his mouth.
Zim jerked, arms spasming. He whispered in an evil-sounding undertone.

"The cheese...the cheese cubey...cheese."

Dib screamed a karate-scream and backflipped out of his desk, landing spreadeagled on the floor before Zim's desk.
The irken squealed with body-shaking throes of laughter. Dib moaned, rubbing his head and staggered to his feet, scowling.

"Laugh it up, alien. I personally know after watching a very special TWO-HOUR *echo* ... episode of Mysterious Mysteries that
explained the lactose intolerance-y stuff....of you alien creatures. THE CHEESE WILL BE YOUR DOOOOOOOOM!"

Zim laughed again, slamming his hands down on the rickety desk.

"Silence, human-weasel-monkey. I know much of the cheese. SO MUCH!"

He twitched for a few seconds. Ms. Bitters growled and flew over to the two rivals.

"Since you two doomy children are so...pally, YOU MUST BE PARTNERS!"

Dib smiled smugly at Zim's utter surprise and dismay.

"But...sir...the...human...worm...like me, of course...is...not...good! HE SMELLS LIKE FEET!"

Bitters grumbled again and bore down upon the other children forcing them to be partners with mortal enemies.

"Shut up, Zim. Now that we are "partners", we must spend "time" together, meaning....I CAN STUDY YOUR HORRIBLE, EARTH DESTROY-YNESS
FURTHER!" Dib cried.

Zim smacked him smartly across his broad forehead, sending him again sprawling to the floor. This gave the green child
great pleasure and he laughed.