A long walk in the snow
Chapter One
The body is just a shell, you can take my body but you can't take my soul; there is a difference.
The snow had just began to fall last week, however the good part was that it was sticking. Winter creates restriction, it's a time when people stay in. Winter feels comforting to me, maybe it's the warm and fuzzy clothes that hug you. Like this scratchy red sweater my grandma gave me when I was twelve. This sweater smelled like her house for some reason and it would tickle my skin to the point where the hairs would stand up. I never minded though, that sweater felt like her love was constantly with me.
That sweater reminds me of times we stayed up drinking hot chocolate with those small marshmallows. It reminds me of large hot bowls of butternut squash soup with the sour cream and chives on top. Winter bares fond memories but this winter would be different. This was the first time I feared winter ever, that's not something I'm used to. I must say I truly hate that fact. That small fact alone enrages me, though it's really just a small part of the rage. This winter was my first mating season, the first one I was to experience.
I had heard about it as a child but never really understood, not till I was around thirteen. That's when Sam began to really notice me, he was constantly staring at me and following me around. It started so simply but I realized his eyes constant glare on me meant something more. Than he began to tell me that I belonged to him. By the time I was 15 he was sniffing me and calling me his property, constantly. He would approach me as his wolf sometimes just to growl at me and taunt me; it was a ritual that male wolves would do to put females in their place. He would approach me in his human form most of the time. My fear seemed to turn him on, I had been promised to him the day I was born there was no choice.
I could smell him approaching me as I walked to school, I knew he was close now. My feet began to move quickly through the snow but I could hear his pace speed up as well, there was never an escape.
"Hey Leah, where you going? To that public school for the humans?"
"Leave me alone Sam, just go away."
"You will be 17 very soon and when that happens I'm taking you out of that school. No more school for you, I don't know why your parents didn't send you to school on the reservation like everybody else. Than you would understand how things work, instead you act all stuck up. Don't matter your ass is mine soon. You bitches are all the same, once you start getting it you turn. You will meet your wolf self soon, after I mate you that's it. You will be pregnant carrying my pups in no time." Sam referring to me as his bitch was normal, most wolves referred to the females that way, we were female dogs to them.
"I don't want to turn, I want to stay human. I don't want to be a part of some pack that has old fashion ways. I don't want to be with a man who thinks of me as his bitch, an object lower than him. I want to be a part of the human world. I want to go to college and own a business one day."
"That's your problem, you want too much. That white man's school has got you all confused, you don't understand your culture and the world you are actually apart of. I will mate you and soon after you will turn and that's your life. Your purpose is to serve your mate and to bare his children."
"There's so many girls on the res who want to be your mate. They love the idea of belonging to an alpha like you. Look at Emily she practically throws herself at you. She hates me because of you but I would gladly step aside. If she wants you why not? She is so pretty, why you don't take her; not me. Everyone says how she has the face for it. She is the kind that belongs with a stud like you. I'm just a geek at heart a tom boy really."
"When you say things like that it breaks me. You bring out that angry side of me Leah that makes me feel rage. The fact that you dare to turn me away, all I know is how to be dominant. Since I was born I was breed that way. I fear everything I am is what turns you off."
"I'm just not traditional Sam, your right other girls around the res are turned on by that masculine, jealous and possessive approach. I saw a girl get beat once and she showed off her bruises, she bragged that it meant he loved her. That's the moment I truly became discussed with our ways. The mind sets of the female wolves. The mindset of the males as well, we are so primitive."
"Who are you to challenge that?"
"Who are you to just go along with it Sam, I thought you were an alpha but really your just a follower with no mind of his own." All I felt was his steamy hands around my neck, my legs dangled beneath me and I realized he had lift me off the ground. I gasped for air and I began to feel dizzy, his eyes met mine and they were full of rage. Suddenly I could breathe again and I felt air going into my lungs. My feet hit the ground and I feel to my knees. Sam towered over me.
"It don't matter, your fancy talk and your crazy mind; I still love you. I always have, I know you thinking different. Actin different, you not as flashy as all the other girls. I can smell how wet they are all the time, so hot in the pants. Ready to give it up on a platter but you, you are different. You're pure and actually still untouched. Emily been giving it up before mating age and all the guys know it. That girl can't cook, she can't even read. I don't want no dumb bitch like that, they call her abortion whore behind her back. I want a classy girl that no one has had, I want someone who isn't part of the crowd. You are private and you don't gossip. You play ball and like sports. If you don't want to give it please trust and believe I will take it. We could have a good life, you could be happy. You have to accept me and this life, it's our destiny."
"I can't, I like the guy you were when you were a kid but the older you get the more you change into the big black wolf."
"Don't you know other packs are always tyrna invade, not to mention the humans that like to hunt us for sport. There are so many threats to our land, woman and pups. The alpha has to be tough, if my father wasn't so strong we would not have one of the most highly feared and respected packs. Now it's my turn and that's why I need a smart and strong wolf by my side."
"I'm never gonna love you Sam."
"You already do, I see the way you use to look at me."
"Use to, that is the key word Sam but you started to treat me like meat."
"If I acted like a pussy do you know what would happen? My own pack would try me, trust me my beta Paul wants to be me so bad. Not to mention those Lakota boys, Jakes pack. Right now they say that were allies at peace but if I was perceived as weak they would try to take over my pack and then you would truly know cruelty."
"I don't understand you Sam. Sometimes I see a monster but then I look into your eyes and I see something else."
"I will mate with you and we will lead this pack and that's it there is no choice and you will bend to my will."
"I want a partner not a master."
Sam looked down his brown eyes searched the snow. That's when I saw Paul and Embry approaching.
"Sam Jakes here to pick up the trade but he is short, should we let it pass?" Paul questioned.
"What does he have?"
"They got 20% less seafood than usual yet they want our produce, the usual amount. At the end of the day we need their seafood our land can't provide what they can but their land can't provide the kind of produce we can. Shit we need each other, you want to let it slide this one time?" Embry asked.
"No it's all a game their trying to test us, if we start allowing that then we will seem weak. Tell them they get 20% less produce. We give the same amount we get, it's that simple." Sam spoke with such authority.
"Sam what if their having some sort of drought, if were kind to them they will look out for us in the future." After I spoke all three of them turned to me and they looked as if I had broken some rule.
"She gets in your business like that and gives you advice?" Paul asked, his face expression seemed judgmental.
"Go and deal with Jake and do as I said." Sam ordered than he grabbed me by my arm and lead me down the path at a fast pace.
"Don't you ever do that again Leah?"
"Do what?"
"Speak out of term especially in front of my pack member's. Next week is the father's plea ceremony and everyone will be there, even Jakes pack. When your father offers you to me just go along and don't do or say anything that will embarrass me or make the pack appear problematic."
"Don't worry I will be a good bitch."
"I'm serious you do one thing stupid no matter how small and it could have a huge impact on us."
"Damn it Sam I understand the politics of this place, I'm not as stupid as you think."
"That's good news. Dress kind of conservative I prefer that, no cleavage. I want you to look good just not trashy. Do not make eye contact especially with other males especially an alpha like Jake. The last thing I need is for him to challenge me, he doesn't own a bitch yet. I know that taking what I have would please a guy like that."
"Why do you hate Jake?"
"I don't hate him but he is an alpha of another strong pack which makes him natural competition it's just that simple Leah. You may not understand this or believe me but part of the reason I'm so protective is because I know what happens when wolves take over another pack. They rape the woman and they kill the men especially the young male pups. Our tribe and culture would be lost and they would treat you guys lower than their original woman. Your life would be very harsh and I would never let that happen to my people, to you. I would die first Leah." When Sam spoke he grabbed me by my waist and the look in his eyes scared me. It was like he saw through me and his passion was almost too much to handle but this was the first time old feelings I had for him swam to the surface. Then I remembered I hated him now and I pushed him away. He looked devastated.
"I can't touch you?" When he spoke his voice broke, he look betrayed. "Leah I smell you in my dreams no one loves you with the pain that I love you."
"You don't know what love is Sam."
"No Leah you don't know what love is or what the kind of power I have feels like. I do what I must even if it makes the only girl I ever love doubt me."
"What color should I wear master I mean Sam?"
"Red and ah leave the attitude at home."
Authors Note: Please review it helps to motivate and feedback is great.
FYI: I plan to really show and highlight wolf pack mentality and nature as well as explore the culture, which really comes from imagination. I want to really develop the characters and let you discover who they are and what they can become. We're dealing with two wolf packs and the competition and primitive nature will be really fierce in this story.
