A/N: I thought it would be interesting to get into Dexter's head at different points in his relationship with Deb. I have a number of points that I'll probably explore but I'm certainly open to suggestion on any times that might be interesting! Thanks for reading!
Today is my ninth birthday. But I'm pretty sure Deb is more excited than I am. She is usually more excited than I am about most things. If you ask me, it's just another day of the week. Nothing better than any other day. But Deb keeps telling me I should be excited because I get cake and presents, so I smile at her. And I don't get annoyed when she wakes me up at 7 by jumping on my bed. And when she asks me why I didn't want a birthday party I just shrug my shoulders at her. But really, who would show up to my birthday party? I don't exactly have friends. Everybody thinks I'm a freak. Deb should know this already. We go to the same school and she's always ready to fight when anyone says anything bad about me.
Harry tells me I need to work harder at fitting in. That I need to try to make friends. But I'm pretty happy with Deb as my friend. Harry would tell me she's my sister and not my friend, but I don't understand why those would be different.
Mom's going all out for dinner-all of my favorites-spaghetti, meatballs, apple pie for dessert. And while she is in the kitchen, Deb and Dad and I are playing with my new baseball bat. I lost the other one last week. Well, I didn't exactly lose it really. But after I played with it last time, the blood had soaked into the cracks and I knew it would be too hard to explain, so I had to bury it too.
Sometimes I want to ask Deb if she ever feels like grabbing the neighborhood pets and taking them apart like I do. I have a feeling she doesn't though. I mean she cried during Old Yeller and she was so upset that for weeks she wouldn't shut up about it. So I'm guessing if I showed her what I do with those animals that she'd go running to Dad. He doesn't know yet. At least I don't think he does. But sometimes he looks at me really funny. And I know that he knows something.
I wish I could explain it. And I know he'll ask me why when he finally does figure it all out. But it's just something I want to do. Staring at the blood coming out, seeing how they stop moving and then their eyes go kinda dull. I really like it…
I guess the kids at school are right. I am a freak. But I don't really want to stop.
Mom asks Dad to come help her with something, so Deb starts spinning in circles. I don't know why she likes it so much, so I sit down and watch. Deb is really funny sometimes, but usually when she's not trying to be. She finally collapses onto the grass next to me, giggling. I lay down too and stare up at the clouds. I reach out for her hand and squeeze tight. When she squeezes back I smile.
"I love you Dex."
I turn my head towards her, but she's still staring up at the sky. I don't say anything, even though I think I should. Thing is, I don't know what to say. She turns and looks at me, frowns. "Well?" Deb is starting to look annoyed.
"Um…"
"Do you love me too?" Deb asks impatiently.
I think about this for a moment. "What does it feel like?"
Deb gives me a weird look. "What do you mean 'what does it feel like'?"
"I don't know…Just…I don't know what it's supposed to be like."
Deb rolls her eyes at me. "Listen, stupid. You love me. Got it?" Dad hates when she gets an attitude and calls people names, but it always makes me smile because it just seems so like Deb. "You would do anything for me, right?" I nod at her. "Right, and I would do anything for you. And I'm your sister and your best friend, right?" I nod at her again. "So there you go. You love me." Deb looks at me very seriously for confirmation.
"Okay" I tell her, grinning.
Deb laughs at me. "You're such a dumbass Dexter."
"Debra!" Deb and I look up to find Dad standing over us. "What have I told you young lady?!"
"Oh man! I was just joking!"
"Well it's not funny." Dad's really mad. I can tell he's about to ground her, make her miss dessert or something.
"We were just goofing around Dad." He turns and looks at me. "It's my birthday and I don't want Deb to get in trouble."
He seems to soften a bit when he hears that. Honestly I don't really know where that came from. But I guess Deb is right, I would do anything for her.
He sighs and ruffles my hair. "You get off with a warning Deb. But the next time I hear a bad word out of your mouth you'll be in twice as much trouble." He pats Deb's shoulder and walks into the house.
"See? Told you you love me." Deb grins triumphantly before she gets up and starts spinning circles again.
