(Hello PEOPLE! This is my first fic on this site…be amazed…hilarious ep…I wish this was real….)
Shows peter at the couch watching TV. "and now back to the "ALLIGATOR HUNTER" says the TV. You can hear the TV saying, "CROOKY! It's a big one! Biggest one I've ever seen! Oh, my…its making weird noises…Holy crud. Its spitting poison…CROOKY! It bit me leg off!"
"Wow," says Brian, coming into the room. "I wonder why the animals never attack the cameras…"
"Don't you see," said peter. "The magical fairy lord, Wachee-magooo is magically transferring the dangerous stunts that this underpaid fool does…ITS MAGIC!"
Brian stares at Peter, with a weird grin. "Okay, I'll shut up," said peter, doing his special giggle afterwards.
Theme song:
Shows the Griffens eating at the dinner table.
'Want some pees, Rupert?" Stewie asked his stuffed bear. "Ha……pees….haha….do you want some…giggle….bananas with those pees….haha…..bananas"
"How was your day, kids?" asked Lois. "I was excluded from the chess club," said Meg.
"You can't, fool," said Stewie. "Now pass me the…giggle…pees!"
"How about you Chris?" asked Peter. "I died today," said Chris.
"WHAT!" exclaimed Lois. "Nothing!" said Chris. "I gotta go!" and he ran up stairs, revealing a spear in his back.
"Crazy kids," said Brian. "What did you do today, Brian?" asked Lois.
"The usual…smoked, drank, slept, smoked drank slept, smoked…"
"I think you said smoked twice," said Peter, holding up four fingers.
"And how was your day, shnukums?" asked Lois.
"First off, don't call me that vile devil from hell or I'll be forced to do what I did last time…"
FLASHBACK: Lois is strapped to a truck, in the middle of the water, infested by sharks, and giant laser rays. Lois was saying, "Stewie, I think you need a diapee change…" Flashback ends.
"Second," continued Stewie. "I created a device to kill you today, so it would be stupid to sleep tonight…and third. I've got a giant rash on my butt that's just screaming for ointment…get my good side…"
"OH MY GOD!" said Peter. "I just realized something…Stewie can talk!"
"NO WAY!" said Meg, Brian and Lois. "Are you sure I wasn't adopted?" asked Stewie.
Suddenly, Chris runs down the stairs and smashes into a wall.
It shows a big building that has a sign "Quohog medical offices"
"Doctor," said Lois. "My baby here, Stewie…he can talk and I don't know what to do."
"Okay," said the doctor, who was wearing clown shows, a big red nose and colored overalls. "How old is your daughter?"
"It's a boy, and he's one."
"Okay. Your daughter is 6 weeks old…gotcha. Now, let me see him."
Lois handed Stewie to the doctor.
The doctor examined the baby and said, "MY GOSH!"
"What is it, doc! Is Stewie okay?"
"Yeah, but his heads the shape of a boomerang. Did a pet cause this?"
"Well, we've had many pets. We have a dog who wouldn't harm anyone…except when he is drunk…maybe he'd kill some people, then. But we've also had a hampster…"
FLASHBACK: Chris is playing with a hampster. "Who's a good boy…who's a good boy," he was saying. Suddenly the animal jumped on Chris's face. "AHHH, AHHHHHH!"
"And we've had a fish…"
FLASHBACK: Chris was standing next to the fish bowl, with a fish in it. "Who's a good fish…who's a good fish." Suddenly the fish jumped out of the bowl and onto Chris's face. "AHHH, AHHHHH!"
"And we've also had a cat…"
FLASHBACK: Chris was playing with an orange cat. "Who's a good kitty…who's a good kitty." Suddenly the cat pulled out a rifle and put it to Chris's head. "ALLA WILL GET YOU!" the cat screamed and then ran out the door.
"And that's it."
"I see, said the doctor. He put Stewie behind an X-ray thing, and then said, "It seems your baby is a genius…"
"You mean like, super-smart?"
"No, I mean way smarter than me"
"You got that right," said Stewie. "Now change my diaper, before you make me change yours!"
