I don't own Teen Titans.
This is a product of You Are My Sunshine and The One That Got Away. So yes, sad.
And so I entered Jump City, with a heavy heart and an intent to visit my oldest friend.
I walked slowly over to his new home, trying not to cry.
Trying.
I know I could have floated, but I thought that seemed so impersonal, and I don't think I could control where I went. I had looked forward to talking with him, laughing with him, and making fun of his frailty in old age.
I feel the rain start up. I'm thankful for it though, because it means that no one can see me crying. I doubt that anyone would still remember me, for I was the dark one; the creepy one. I know what the people said about me, and while Beast Boy and Starfire would get fan-mail by the cartloads, all I got was an occasional letter, asking me to come to go to a gothic party or a poetry reading. Would it surprise anyone to know that I never liked poetry? That my favorite genre isn't horror? That my favorite color isn't purple? That if I could, I would have smiled, and laughed and acted alive if I could? But I can't. So I resign myself to being the dark shadow that leaves as soon as possible, shooting down any offers of anything fun, because I know if I get to attached, I'm likely to harm someone. So I keep my distance. And I let her take my place, because he deserves to be happy, he deserves to laugh and smile and act alive. And I encouraged him to ask her out, to make the first move. Even though the thought of it broke my heart.
When we were on missions (Oh, how I miss fighting alongside someone. It's hard to fight when there is nothing worth fighting for.) I made sure he lived, and I made sure she lived, too, I healed and defended him, and cheered him up, because although he was with her, she didn't know him. Didn't know that he hated mornings. That even though he pretended otherwise, he liked his coffee with at least three sugars. But I knew that, so in the mornings I would bring him his coffee, just way he liked it, and sometimes I wish that instead of nodding at him when he thanked me, I would have winked, smiled and said 'You're Welcome' and he would have looked at me with his eyes as wide as saucers, jaw dropped, and I would have smiled wide and pushed up his chin. But I didn't do that. I never made any sort of hint that indicated that I liked him. That I loved him.
Then I had to leave.
In time I came back, with my powers mastered. But that was only to go to his wedding. I saw him, and saw how he looked at her, and the whispers in the back of my head telling me to speak up as the preacher said speak now died out as his eyes lit up, taking in her beauty.
She was beautiful, that day, in her white wedding dress. But it was him that my eyes never left. And when Cyborg saw me in the back of the room, hiding in the shadows as always, he didn't mention anything to anyone, because he knew that I left because I loved him, and didn't have the courage to stay and see him with her. And he didn't say anything when I fled the Reception, just giving me a sad nod of farewell.
That was the last time I saw him
That was fifty years ago.
A week ago I got it in my head that I needed to visit him before it was too late.
So I enter his home of five years, looking at my ageless hands, and wishing that all who I loved, had my abilities. But I would never wish that upon anyone.
I see it and drop to my knees, knowing that this is the last time I would be visiting.
Here Lies Richard John Greyson.
Loving Husband,
Fighter of All Battles.
It was already too late.
