He Never Did

Chapter One

The battle was finally over. Harry walked around the grounds, watching as bodies were cleared away and the injured were carried to Madam Pomfrey. Harry felt a pang in his chest at the sight of so many dead. 'It's all my fault. If I only I was faster. If only I was better.' Harry felt tears spring to his eyes but quickly wiped them away again. He couldn't be seen crying. He was the Boy Who Lived, Britain's savior. He had to be strong. Not to mention that there were stereotypes. Guys couldn't cry. Guys had to be tough and not emotional. But sometimes he wished that that weren't true. That it was okay for guys to cry and that everyone didn't expect him to be the strongest person alive. Because, sometimes, he just wanted to let it all out. He wanted to cry, but he knew that he couldn't.

Harry walked back into the castle and watched Madam Pomfrey take care of the wounded. He knew that he needed to be seen by her, but he decided not to go inside the Great Hall. 'I deserve this pain. Everyone else here is innocent. They can be seen first.' Harry turned around and started walking to Gryffindor Tower in the hopes of some peace and quiet. He was about halfway up the steps when he ran into Mrs. Weasley. He hadn't seen her for he had his head down.

"Harry, dear, there you are. We were beginning to wonder what had happened to you," she said. The Weasley matriarch looked Harry up and down, taking in his multiple injuries, torn and dirty clothes, and haggard appearance. "Harry, you look awful!"

"Jeez, thanks," he muttered noncommittally.

"Have you been seen by Madam Pomfrey yet, Harry?"

"No."

"Well then you just turn around and march right on into the Great Hall, mister, and let her give you a good look over. After that we can go to the Common Room. Everyone's there."

Suddenly, the Common Room didn't sound so good. "I'm alright Mrs. Weasley, really I am. Don't worry about me."

Mrs. Weasley gave Harry a sympathetic look. "Harry, everything's alright. This is not your fault. No," she said as he made to interject, "I know that's what you are thinking. I know you too well Harry and I can tell just by looking at you that you feel that way."

Harry responded by looking down at the stone stairs. Mrs. Weasley watched him for a second before pulling him into a hug. Harry tensed for a moment before relaxing into her embrace. Mrs. Weasley noticed his sudden tenseness and gave him a worried look, which he missed. They stayed like that while Mrs. Weasley rubbed circles in his back. Suddenly, Harry found himself overcome with emotion. He felt tears come to his eyes and knew that if he stayed like that any longer, he would break down. He pulled out of Mrs. Weasley's grasp and turned around to try and run down the stairs. Mrs. Weasley grabbed his arm and turned him around, but he kept his head down because he didn't want her to see his misty eyes.

"Harry," Mrs. Weasley began, but Harry wrenched his arm out of her grasp and ran. He vaguely heard Mrs. Weasley call his name, but he didn't stop. He ran out onto the grounds and into the Forbidden Forest. He ran to the place where he had taken Voldemort's killing curse and "died", so to speak. He began searching wildly about, deciding that he was not strong enough to do this and that he needed his parents. The anguish was too much for him and he felt like killing himself if he did not find the ring. Mrs. Weasley and Bill ran up and found Harry crawling around on the ground.

"Where is it, where is it?" he muttered, unaware of their presence. Mrs. Weasley and Bill looked at each other, a pained expression on their faces. They had a pretty good idea what Harry was looking for, since Ron and Hermione had told everyone what they were doing on their journey.

Bill walked over to Harry and crouched down next to him. He put a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry jumped like he was on a moon bounce and looked up. What Bill saw their made him want to cry. He saw Harry's face the most unguarded it had ever been. Bill saw pain and anguish in its purest form. He saw so much sadness he couldn't comprehend it all. He saw that Harry was lost. He saw that Harry was very mature for his age and had seen things that no child should ever have to see.

"Harry," Bill started, looking Harry straight in the eyes, "everything is alright. Come back to the castle with us. Madam Pomfrey can check on you and fix your injuries, and then we can get a nice meal and you can get some sleep. How does that sound?"

It all sounded pretty good to Harry, but he didn't want to be a burden. "Bill, I…" he stopped, ashamed at how uneven his voice sounded. He took a second to control himself before he started again. "Bill, I don't want to burden anyone. Madam Pomfrey has a lot of people to look after. She's probably tired and she doesn't need another patient right now. And besides, you guys are probably tired too. You guys go rest. I'll be fine."

Bill looked at Harry for a second before he said quietly, "Harry, I know for a fact that you are the most tired, the hungriest, and the most pained person here right now. From what I understand, you haven't slept very well for months, and that you have been giving your food to Ron and Hermione. If anyone needs a little care right now, it's you."

Harry looked at the ground, his bottom lip wobbling. He was so tired. Bill noticed this and pulled Harry onto his lap. He then gently laid Harry's head onto his shoulder and began to rub his back. Bill cared about his little siblings, and right now, his youngest brother was hurting. A lot.

Harry pressed his hands to his eyes as he tried to stem the tears that had arisen. When Bill began to rock him back and forth, Harry buried his face in Bill's shirt in an attempt to hide his tears. Bill felt Harry's tears soak his shirt, though, and wrapped his arms around Harry, successfully enclosing him. Soft sobs could be heard coming from Bill's shirt and Molly Weasley sighed. She hated it when her children cried. It broke her heart.

Bill sat there with Harry on his lap until Harry stopped crying. Looking down, Bill noticed that Harry was asleep. Smiling slightly, Bill picked Harry up gently, trying not to wake him. He then immediately frowned for Harry was very light. Too light. Quietly, Bill carried Harry back to the castle, his mother following behind, and took him to the Gryffindor Common Room, where he placed Harry on a couch so they could all keep an eye on him.