Gotham narrows didn't have a good public school so it was surprising one of their students was ranked high in the state. Mr. Quincy pulled his phone out, "Hello."

He put the phone back in his pocket. "Mallen, office. Take your bag," he spoke to the school's high ranking student without looking away from the rickety board he was copying textbook material onto. Mallen flashed Alexis, a girl ranked second in their class, a classic Joker smile he constantly claimed was practically genetic. He put his trashy bag on his back and left with his worn out notebook, many believed Harley Quinn and Joker's son cheated but the truth was much worse.

In the office a man in a nice suit sat on the termite worn chair. After giving Ms. Clark a questioning look he stood and greeted Mallen, "Mr. Quinn."

"Mallen, like mallet." The boy corrected, giving the secretary a similar look.

The man said "I'm Bruce Wayne."

Mallen cut him off, "I know who you are and I'm not taking your scholarship. I'm not gonna go out of my way to attend Gotham Academy and sit next to mansion kids. I can't afford the materials for those classes anyway. My answer is no."

Bruce asked "Is that all your stuff because you're not coming back here? If you don't go to Gotham Academy the state can send you to Gotham Central, Gotham's primary public school."

Mallen said "I don't live in that foster home. Tell ya what I'll make you a deal. You come with me to my house and pitch this idea of yours to my mom. You look my mom in the eye and offer this complete full ride just for me. If she doesn't laugh in your face and agrees to consider it, I'll drop the M in my name and go to your prep school."

Bruce said "Deal."

He waved to Ms. Clark as Mallen lead him out the door and through the narrows. He stopped as maniacal laughter echoed, he muttered "Either dad's home or mom's got on home movies." Then he lead Bruce into a rundown speakeasy.

He put his bag on the table and Harley turned around, "You're early."

"Lose another job? Ma, Bruce Wayne. He showed up today. Mr. Quincy sent me home, again."

"That guy needs to learn to man up." She turned to Bruce, "He's not going to Gotham Academy or Gotham Central and if one more of you people."

Mallen stopped her "Ma! Bruce Wayne the billionaire."

"I don't care! Wait, what?" Bruce gave a kind smile, "You're not going to take him away. You're not child services."

"CPS still thinks we live with those pothead foster people, apparently." He climbed off the old seat, Harley turned, "I'm taking the bucket."

Harley called "Go to the river before you come back." Mallen nodded as he entered the tunnels.

Bruce gestured to the booth "May we sit? I just wanna talk."

"Sure you do Bats." Harley sat at one end of the round booth.

Bruce said "When I came to the school to pitch the offer to Mallen and his guardians, he pointed out he couldn't afford materials. I instantly think textbooks but I didn't realize the Narrows school is in such bad shape. I'm willing to pay for tuition, all materials and housing costs. I don't like the idea of you being their guardian but clearly that's a lost battle."

Mallen dumped the bucket, replenishing their water supply from the gutter he and some teens fit with a filter for local families. He pulled Hayla out of her ever growing labyrinth to bathe in the river. He made Hayla take the front entrance instead of her tunnels, Bruce saw Hayla as Harley said "That's the thing. Mallen isn't an only child, I am not losing them both and you're not separating them."

"CPS still thinks we live with those pothead foster people," Bruce repeated in a daze. He pulled out a brochure, "Gotham Academy is a fine institution."

"Where I'll be picked on for being Joker Junior. At least now my classmates are all poor like me. You can throw all the money you want at making me one of them, it won't change the fact my parents are supervillains and I'm attending on scholarship. I'm not going."

Bruce looked at Harley, "What if they both lived with me for the school year? I'll pay you two grand a month and you'll have them in the summer."

"Foresight, I only live at Wayne Manor on school days and I'm still a charity case. I don't care how much money you have, I'm tired of making the same argument. Arrest me, I'm not changing schools. Central kids are richer than me."

Harley shut Mallen down, playing the mom card, "You and Hayla are going with Mr. Wayne. He'll be taking care of you and you'll both go to school."

Mallen knew he lost, "We'll go to the same school. Mr. Wayne will have to adopt us to change my name, like he promised."

"Sure," she was nervous. Their dad was gonna escape soon, she had a sixth sense for it after all their years. "Mallen, go help Hayla pack up."

They left the room and Harley collapsed back into the booth, "You can protect them from their father, right?"

"Who's their father? The Joker?"

"Yeah. Joe Kerr, ha."

"I'll do everything I can."

"Thanks Batman."

"It's Bruce, I'm not Batman."

"Sure ya are. Mallen figured it out, found proof and everything, when you first started trying to recruit him. Who'd believe us?"

Bruce used his Batman voice, "You're not wrong." He stood and took Mallen's backpack. In his day voice, "Just keep doing right by your kids and don't give me a reason to come back as him."

Mallen and Hayla didn't have much to pack. Hayla lived in the tunnels, always digging escape routes for when daddy came home. Mallen and Harley lived in the speakeasy, with some cabinets in the original, bricked tunnels for their stuff. He packed them up quickly, hiding a mallet (his namesake) for Joker's next escape. When they returned to the speakeasy, Bruce was waiting for them with Mallen's backpack on. He asked "Ready to go?"

Mallen always kept Hayla in front of him, an almost instinctual protective habit. They said their goodbyes to Harley, she cried as she knelt to hug and kiss them. Mallen lead their new guardian back to his limo and held Hayla back to make Bruce Wayne get in first, he got in last and sat between them. Bruce saw how little they packed and offered to take them to a charity store, Mallen angrily shut down his ideas.

At the Manor, he dropped all protective sense and stormed upstairs. Bruce asked his ward Jason to show Mallen around. Literally flipping around as if it's nothing, Hayla gave Bruce some of the same information Harley had, their dad is the Joker and they know he's Batman. Bruce already heard it from Harley so he asked "Your mom teach you to do that."

"Daddy definitely didn't. He doesn't know mommy kept us. He's gonna escape tonight, mommy knows that and so does Mallen."

That got Bruce's full attention, "She asked if I could protect you from him because she knew he was getting out?"

"Uh-huh." She offered to help stop him in the tunnels. Hayla doesn't like daddy misusing her tunnels, doesn't like daddy hitting mommy.

That night she lead Batman and Robin right to the escaped Joker. Hayla announced to him that he'd never hurt mommy again and he attacked his daughter. Hayla wasn't seriously harmed as Mallen swung his mallet at Joker before Batman or Robin had time to think of a safe response. Hayla ran to Harley, who Mallen lead there. Mallen kept swinging at Joker, beating him down. Before he could kill the clown, Hayla stopped him. He decided they'd join the underground where they'd be appreciated and no one would care who their parents were. Robin offered to talk to him after Harley accepted she'd lost them. Robin talked him down, taking responsibility for anything his guardian screwed up. They all rode away in the batmobile, Batman had dismissed Harley instead of arresting her. Hayla got her brother to lighten up and they both went upstairs to bed.