Chapter 1: A FATAL encounter
In the reaches of space, on the surface of the planet Earth, a mysterious figure named Byron Hall created a game called FATAL, intending it to be the next best thing since Homestar Runner. Instead, it went down in history as the worst RPG ever created. It was said the horror was so great, that most died before they even read through the manual, if not from going mad from the revelation then from old age because the damn thing was 900 pages long. According to all historical findings and testimonies from survivors, there are only three documented instances of the game ever being played. The first was an ill fated attempt on 4chan, which is said to have caused massive internal hemorrhaging of all bodily organs from everyone involved, ultimately resulting in a casualty count that rates in the dozens. The second attempt was a TV Tropes forum, which lasted for 5 days before the moderation cracked down on the eldritch horror taking place on their site. By this point, the only surviving player was permanently banned, convicted of war crimes by The Hague, and sentenced to death by firing squad.
This...is the story of the third game...
"I cant believe this! I just cant believe this!"
Marco Diaz paced back and forth, still unable to fully comprehend the magnitude of it all. "How did I lose? HOW? I stayed up till THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING writing down those plans on my napkin! All those plans! And like an angel's kiss, they were gone! You and your stupid pancake helicopters..."
The girl walking beside him adjusted her beanie. "Oh dont be such a spoil sport Marco," said Janna, "I was just simply better prepared for that game than you were. There's no need to get so upset~"
Marco was on the verge of pulling his hair out. "There is EVERY need to get upset! Someone must have cheated. YOU must have cheated. Better prepared my ass!"
Janna smirked, casually putting her hand down Marco's hoodie. "Well, the way I see it, ytou still lost. Now, I could just spring your punishment on you, but I figure I'll make it fun by letting you choose your fate! I've got two options I've been cooking up for you in the event you lost the bet."
"Uuuuuugh, whatever, lay it on me." At this point, Marco just wanted to get this humiliation over with.
"Weeeeeeeeeeelllll, option number one is going on a date with yours truly."
"Very funny Janna."
"Aw come on!" she began, equal parts joking and defensive. "There's nothing malicious in this whatsoever. Probably."
"Look, you and I both know that this "date" is just a set up to embarrass me further, or something like that. I'm not even sure what you're planning, but whatever it is, it's probably bad! Gimme the second option."
"Uuuuh, really? You sure? Because I'm pretty sure that option two is a helluvah lot worse..."
"Just tell me what it is!" he shouted, their discussion now attracting the attention of about a dozen other folks who didn't have anything better to do.
Janna sighed, and figuring she had no other option, guided Marco down to her locker. For once, this abomination was stored in someplace that actually belonged to her, and wasn't a secret compartment in one of Marco's various places. Punching in the appropriate 9 digit password combination, a secret vault in the back of her locker opened; a single book, bound with chains, contained within.
"Well...here it is." She slowly unlocked the chains and dusted off the immensely thick book, the air around them feeling more foreboding with every passing moment.
"That's it? That's just a book? And an RPG book at that."
Janna chuckled. "Not just any book, Marco my boy. THIS is an abomination known as FATAL."
Marco grabbed the heavy tome and eyed the lurid cover with suspicion. "Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery? What kind of acronym is that? Could they BE any more redundant?"
"That's only the beginning, Marco my sweet. Though I'm sure you can tell by the black aura surrounding the book and the dark whispers. You're hearing those too, right?"
"Y-yeah...I dont know about this..."
Janna's eyes suddenly lit up. "Really? If you're having doubts, there's this really nice Chinese place down a couple blocks that-"
"Fuck it, we'll play."
The game was set for later that evening. But many things happened in the space of time between setting up the game and Marco getting back home. For one, Janna told a certain magical alien princess about this set of circumstances, and may or may not have grumbled to her about Marco's refusal to trust her. Of course, all Star Butterfly cared about was the fact that there was a "game" about to be played, and before they knew it, she decided to drag along other people and make it a "contest".
So by the time Marco went to meet up with Janna in his living room, he noticed it was filled with at least a half dozen other characters, which seemed to include "Buff Frog", Tom, Star herself, and Jackie Lynn Thomas of all people.
"Janna?! What are all these people doing here?" He turned towards Jackie. "What's she got on you? If she's holding you hostage, I can-"
"Marco!" Star bounced up in his face. "You're not gonna BELIEVE what I was doing today! So like, Janna mentioned you guys were playing a game, and since that sounded like super fun I decided maybe I should play too! But you know what's even funner than that? Bringing even more people in! So I may have called up a few people I know."
Marco breathed deeply, still trying to wrap his head around all this. "Okay, fine, that explains you, since you're deranged enough, no offense. But what about everyone else?"
Tom was the first to speak. "I actually came here of my own accord. I've always wanted to witness the malicious power of FATAL in action."
"I was told there would be prizes." said Buff Frog
"Actually, I dont even know what I'm doing here. Last I remember was eating that rotisserie chicken, and then I woke up here..."
"Ugh, Jackie," said Janna, clearly annoyed, "you cant just sniff a whole tub of glue first thing in the morning and expect there to be no consequences! Didn't you learn your lesson from last time?"
"Fuck you man, you cant take away my glue."
When he got out of this, Marco thought, he was going to have to rethink his whole "crush on Jackie" deal. But for now, he had to survive this game.
"So, I know I was the one who brought this game out of the darkness, but it's our hunky demon boy over here..." she trailed off as she admired Tom's body.
"AHEM" coughed Marco.
"Right right right! Anyways, Tom is the guy who knows what the whole "prize thing" is supposed to be about. Take it away, cutie!"
"Call me "cutie" again, and I will break your clock." he growled, "But about this game. Accounts are apocryphal at best, what with only two games ever being attempted on earth until now. However, what I DO know is that the "winner", as in the last person surviving, is blessed by the game with the unholy powers of all 4 chaos gods, the armies of hell, a Draconequus as a steed, and two packs of gum. So they say."
"I'm mostly in it for the gum!" Star interjected.
"Ugh...let's just get this over with! I have math homework I need to finish."
The six doomed souls gazed upon the book again, the foreboding aspect of having to dredge through 900 pages to even begin the game in the first place. Had they noticed, however, the dark aura surrounding the Diaz residence, cutting the players off from the rest of the world as they reached for the book, they would have destroyed it on the spot. For indeed, the claims of FATAL's hellishness were not exaggerated in the slightest, and the horrors of the abyss began encroaching towards them, attracted by the signs of imminent despair.
It was about to get far weirder and wilder than anyone ever wanted.
