Disclaimer: I, GodOfFlame101 under the alias of Damien, do not own any copyrights, Trademarks or affiliates of the Anime/Manga InuYasha. I receive no revenue from this story and this story may be distributed or revoked by the will of the producers of said Anime/Manga without myself seeing so much as a penny.


Tashio-Taisho-Takahashi-San

Alternate Universe High


Inuyasha Tashio-Taisho-Takahashi, son of the biggest and richest youkai in all of Japan, climbed out of his really expensive sports car that he had been given for his birthday. It was some American brand that doesn't normally sell well in Japan and it was painted crimson with a white trim and flames that looked super realistic next to the wheels…because everyone knows that the hallmark of a "rad" dude is having flames painted on the side of their car. His parents had offered him one of the better selling and more reliable Japanese models of cars – brands like Honda and Toyota-Lexus who are consistently rated as better cars overall than most overseas competition – but the young seventeen year-old hanyou knew better than his father who was presumably over a millennia old. And, with that logic, he was given what he wanted – just like always. Plus, America is kick-ass. Go America.

Normally, schools would enact a dress-code policy and have students wear special uniforms, but Inuyasha didn't follow them because he was a rich bad-ass and anyone who said different was stupid. He would always walk into school with his red pants and red skateboard shoes – because skateboard shoes were cool and totally useful to his job of sleeping with every girl he could get his hands on and spending money on everyone he knew; Inuyasha had so much money that didn't actually belong to him, and his parent's never forced him to learn the value of a dollar.

Just how rich was Inuyasha? Well, his father had done some super cool thing in the past – that's not going to be touched upon except with some obscure reference later on – with some stupid product that no one actually uses.

Suffice it to say that Inuyasha had infinite monies and infinite girlfriends; Inuyasha was all about the girlfriends. Specifically, he was about banging said girlfriends.

It wasn't his fault he had so many girls after him; they were just drawn to him like moths to a lantern. Girls were always lining up to touch his skin, to get a glimpse of his hard body – absolute perfection engraved into his chiseled abs – or to get a handful of his flowing mane, the super silky silver hair that was more beautiful than any woman's on the planet, nay, in the entire galaxy; oh how his fans loved to tangle their grubby little paws into his hair and play with his little doggy ears – after all, Inuyasha had never objected to people touching his ears.


As Inuyasha entered the front doors to the school, perfectly waxed chest glistening with sweat that had instantly begun to form due to his own hotness, he could hear all of the younger girls screaming out for his attention.

"Inu-yashie! Over here!" One called out.

"No, 'Yasha! Look at me!" Two shouted, flailing her arms about like an idiot.

"Omg, I want to have your baby, Yash!" Three screamed out, throwing her shirt at him. Yes, she did actually say "oh em gee" instead of "oh my god" because that's colloquial dialect in high school.

Normally, Inuyasha would humor Three and let her touch his shoulder or something like that but he wasn't in the mood for anymore contact at the moment; he had already finished with Fifteen in his car before coming in. So, instead, Inuyasha just tore her shirt up and walked away while Three thanked him for his kind acknowledgement of her presence.

A few minutes later, Inuyasha strolled into his first class of the day and took a seat next to his friend Miroku.

"Yo, 'Roku," Inuyasha half-shouted as he leaned back in his chair to expose his glorious, golden abs. A ray of sunlight broke through the glass to illuminate the world to the greatness that was Inuyasha's body, causing sparkles to appear around his perfectly toned muscles; puddles of drool began to form on the floor as his female onlookers' mouths fell open.

Miroku cocked an eyebrow at his friend, confused with the vernacular. "Since when did 'Roku' become an acceptable replacement for saying my name?"

"What-No. I was saying hey to Roku. Hey, Roku!" Inuyasha waved his arm in the air at some unimportant character in the corner. The poor boy fell over from being graced by Inuyasha's voice and quickly died thereafter.

"Oh, I see," Miroku said calmly as he gazed at Inuyasha's glowing, white-hot body – in the most non-homoerotic way possible, of course. He checked his watch – that Inuyasha had paid for – and sighed as he noticed that the teacher was late…again. Teachers were always late; it's not as though they had gone to years of schooling and trained specifically to be an example to a younger generation. No, no, teachers are always late and stupid – that's just a fact of life.

Miroku patted his feet against the ground, his brand new Italian shoes – which Inuyasha had paid for – squeaking against the ground as he moved; his brand new Japanese Apparel shirt and Abercorn and Peacock pants – both of which Inuyasha had bought for him because, as was previously stated, Inuyasha has infinite monies – hung tightly to his ripped body. Sure, it wasn't as impressive as Inuyasha's because that would take away from the Inu-hanyou's only redeeming feature.

Miroku's body was a bit like sedimentary rock while Inuyasha's was like an indestructible, poly-synthetic, titanium alloy that doesn't exist. God, Inuyasha was so hot.

Eventually, their teacher walked in but no one really cared because they were all too busy cheering on Inuyasha as he did nothing of interest.

"Mister Tashio-Tai-whatever, would you mind asking your admirers to look this way, please?" the unattractive, middle-aged nuisance asked.

Inuyasha pushed One off of him as she tried to touch his perfection. "Sure thing," Inuyasha replied, turning his gaze to the star-struck fan girls. With a flick of his doggy-ears, Inuyasha commanded the girls to sit down and they immediately obeyed , taking their seats like good plot-important angels.

"I just don't understand you anymore, Mister Redundant-Unimaginative-Lastname," the stupid old teacher said. "You used to be such a good student in middle school. What happened?"

Inuyasha brought his finger to his chin as he pondered over what the teacher had just said, abdominal muscles pulsing with every neuron that fired off in his brain. It was true that back in his old school, Canon Middle School (which will hence forth be referred to as 'Canon'), he hadn't been all that desired: his body wasn't jacked, he had a terrible attitude, no one liked him because he was a demon, and he wasn't rich. It would be simple to explain all of the glaring inconsistencies between Inuyasha in Canon and Alternate Universe High – such as how he instantly became rich and loved by everyone, despite him being a demon – but that would mean actually creating a pseudo-history for the narrative. Besides, people don't want to hear about how demons overcame racism, became accepted into society, and all that other serious shit; they'd much rather have their mundane and scheduled high school life be glorified with fantastical characters.

Writing about demons overcoming racism would be too akin to writing about serious shit in American and European history such as the policy of apartheid in South Africa, prejudice towards non-Caucasian ethnicities in the Western world, and the numerous genocides that occur all over the planet. Also, how would a person explain demons who aren't obsessed with eating humans and how would someone explain how humans aren't mindlessly slaying demons anymore?

Yeah, screw the explanations.

"Beats me," Inuyasha said with a laugh. Inuyasha liked to laugh; he did it so often since he came to Alternate Universe High. "Aren't you supposed to teach us something anyway?"

"Not today," the smelly idiot replied with a sigh. "Today class, I want to introduce you to our newest student: Kagome Higurashi!"

Inuyasha watched as the new girl walked into the classroom on cue, giving everyone a nervous smile. As he looked into her chocolate-colored eyes, he instantly felt his mammoth sized manhood sprout up and his heart begin racing – he was clearly in love, because love always evoked erotic sensations in his groin. As a matter of fact, every time a person feels an erotic sensation, it's because they're in love; that's the perfect message to send to readers who are just hitting puberty and, like Inuyasha and Kagome, can't yet distinguish between the biological hardwiring for sex and the psychological perceptions of love.

Inuyasha knew that Kagome was different from all the other infinite girls he had slept with in the past, and he was determined to become her boyfriend and tap that ass. However, instead of doing the gentlemanly thing of being kind and courteous and introducing himself, he decided to be an asshole to the new girl.

"Hey, that wench looks just like Kikyo The Slut!" Inuyasha shouted, pointing at Kagome.

He didn't feel bad as the girl at the front of the classroom glared at him with a look of pure hatred, hatred that clearly said, "deep down, I want to ravish you and make deformed quarter-demon babies." He knew that's what she was thinking because, if she wasn't thinking that, it would make him a creeper when he walked up to her after class and began talking with her about how much he loved her and wanted to fuck her.

"You jerk!" Kagome shouted as she lunged at the Inu-hanyou. Surprisingly, she was able to begin beating the half-demon into a pulp, despite the fact that Inuyasha was a fucking half demon and had glorious abdominals of hotness; she had to be able to tame Inuyasha because that would make her different from the other infinite girlfriends he had been around.

The teacher didn't stop the two fighting teenagers as they nearly killed each other; like all teachers at Alternate Universe High, he didn't care about the students or their complicated lives. Hearing a small "ahem" from the door, the useless teacher turned his head.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to announce you as well," the moron began. "Everyone, please rise for…"


The Lesson: Inuyasha as the "Rich-badass-hot-playboy-heartthrob-" characterization just needs to stop. It was interesting, once. It's not anymore. It's just a pathetic way of not having to deal with money in your story. Also, while the nod off to Rumiko Takahashi was clever before, it's not anymore; use google and find another name - Taisho is boring, Takahashi is overdone and Tashio is just ridiculous. Stop talking about "Yashie's" abs. Just, stop. I wish I could say that the character above is a caricature of the overdone idea...but it's not: it's the exact character as he appears in many AU High School fics.

I'm sure many of you are ready to begin flaming me for my pathetic attempt at making fun of your AU fic. In that case, flame-on. *Activates Flame-Shield 2.0BETA MVII*