Human beings were just so amusing. With all their emotions, their idiotic struggles in life, and their easily influenced minds, who wouldn't find them all simply smashing? It was excitement like I've never felt to see their faces, their fat, greasy and beady-eyed faces, fill with pure horror when we, or I, was able to watch as I took a life. It filled me with such joy when they howled out in pain that I, of course had caused, thanks to my own lovely scrawl. Their deaths were always long and drawn out because really, where was the fun in a short and painless death? Easily put, there wasn't any. I loved to see their lives flash through their teary eyes and more than anything, I craved the cheap thrills they drenched me in – I wanted nothing more than to be sopping wet. I can't think of anything the pleasure I feel can compare to, especially when long and meaningless years of my life were spent simply waiting and watching in the Shinigami realm. Mind-numbingly boring, that place was. The only thing considered to be entertainment in such a lonely and empty place was gambling away our already prolonged lives or trying to guess whose throat would dry out the fastest whilst shoving down the horrible tasting apples only my charming home could cough up. It sure was a real riot living up there, as you might have guessed.

Needless to say, the humans that our lives were so closely connected to were the only real cure for our monotonous days and melancholy nights.

I was one of the lucky few who had gotten the opportunity to prance around Earth, free as a bird. I heard some humans say that a while back and it seemed to fit well. Admittedly, I had to trick the Shinigami King to do such a thing and I had to stick around with some kid by the name of Light, but that was beside the point. He treats me to apples whenever I'm a good boy and he's quite interesting, so its not too bad. Get this. The boy thought my Death Note was some kind of fucking joke and so he tried it out on some person on the television. Poor fella dies, Light goes ballistic, calms down, and is calling himself Kira and claiming its up to him to deal out 'judgment' among the world. He says hes only going to use the Death Note on criminals but humans are easily corrupted. Regardless of how it turns out, it'll be terribly amusing for me.

Light's great and all, don't get me wrong, but I don't give a damn about his problems. He's always asking me about the Death Note when I have already been so generous by writing out the rules in the front cover. No, my real interest is his sister, Sayu. See, I've never been so good around women. I know, I know, its a real shocker. All the owners of my Death Notes, all accidentally dropped, mind you, have been men. Plain curiosity draws me towards her. I want to know how easy it is to destroy her, inside and out. I want to watch her face flood with pure terror. I want to rip the naivety and innocence from her small body. Really, I just want to know if men on Earth are any different than the females, besides the obvious body parts one has and the other does not.

Even I'm not that daft.

Occasionally, when I'm tired of staring at Light's hunched over back and irritated with the constant crunch of potato chips, I talk. I talk about a variety of things such as apples, and when I'm going to be getting more of said apples. I ask questions about his plans with the Death Note and how his life is going now that he gets to play God, thanks to yours truly. What can I say, I'm a sweetheart. I also try to casually bring up Sayu's name whenever possible. Light almost always replies with a sigh, telling me that he doesn't have time to waste explaining her life to me and that he doesn't understand why I need to know or why I insist on bringing her up. I usually go silent here, bide my time, and insert her name randomly into our conversations a week or so later. Partly, I do this to infuriate him and partly because I want to know about her. I'm sad to report that my dedicated efforts have gotten no results.

Fortunately for me, she spends a lot of time in his room and I get to watch. I listen to her sing-song voice and it rings in my ears for days after-wards. I'm able to stare at her shamelessly while Light helps her with her homework, the only reason she ever shows up. I wonder if she's dumb because she needs help often. She looks up to Light for some reason and whenever I see her, watching her brother with a shit-eating grin on her face, I'm tempted to just shout out what Kira does all day. I don't, though. It'd ruin everything for me if I did. All in all, I'd say she's a nice girl and that makes me even more wrapped up in her rosy cheeks and her ignorance to the world. I spend hours floating around in Light's room just thinking about her and how exactly I should go about ravaging her body and soul. She can't see me so any twisted thing that pops into my mind is a very likely possibility. Sometimes, I feel bad for her, but mostly, I feel glad for myself. I even have to resist the urge to squeal out in joy on occasion. That was a joke. But really, I'm dying to get to this girl.

As a God of Death, I have no morals. I could care less about what Light thinks of me after what I've chosen to do to his darling baby sister. He's much too consumed in my heartfelt gift, anyway. Each night, I have decided that I'll make her night a living Hell.

What could be more delightful?