A/N:A sad one-shot. I am going to turn Sin City into a story, but not right now =P. Enjoy!
This Is My Fault
I hate life.
Every since Clare came out of it that is. Did I love you at all? OF COURSE I LOVED YOU! I crashed my car for you, for heavens sake! But, it wasn't enough for you. You broke my heart. You broke everything. Two weeks later you get a new boyfriend. Jake Martin. Oh, how I hate that douche. How he wraps his hands around you. How he makes you blush, and how he kisses you.
That should be me.
I erased you from my memory? I think about you all the time. And you ignore me you hypocrite. You only give me disrespectful glares and scoffs. I hear you and Jake having sex. Is it a rumor? Cause I didn't see your purity ring on your finger. How could you?
I'm going to show how much I care about you. Just wait…
….
Walking through Degrassi is like walking through cave. Dark. Everybody hates me since The Spring Dance. Nobody would look at me. Adam took Clare's side in this. I have nobody.
Gripping my backpack tightly as I can, I'm scared to drop it. I can practically feel the metal of the gun through the fabric of my backpack. No backing out now.
I walk pass Clare and Jake swapping spit in front of her locker. She wouldn't be doing that if she knew what I was doing to do. She would be crying over my dead corpse and wishing she would have came back to me.
Ha. Funny. I smirk and keep walking.
I walk pass Adam. My once good best-friend. He's flirting with his girlfriend Katie. I wish that could be me and Clare.
I finally reached the boy bathroom and opened the door. Nobody was inside and I was glad at the fact. Nobody needs to see me sacrifice myself. I walked into the stall and sat on the floor. I kept the door open so it would easier to see me. I take out the gun and glanced at it's glory. I put the gun down and took out a pen and notebook paper from my backpack.
Dear Clare,
Are you finally happy? I'm gone like you wanted. Out of your life. Have fun with Jake. Just remember that there was somebody that really loved you in your relationships. You ripped my heart out, stomped on it, and threw it in the trash. But, just remember that this is all your fault. Your fault.
Eli Goldsworthy
I put the note in my hand and picked up the gun in my right hand. I pointed the gun to my head and whispered:
"This is your fault Clare. Your fault."
….
Clare's P.O.V.
BAM!
That sound echoed through the hallway and everybody stopped what they were doing. They were staring at each other because it sounded like a gun.
Mr. Simpson came running out from his office and he had a panicked look on his face.
"What was that noise?" He asked.
"We don't know sir, but it cam from the boy's bathroom." A boy said.
Mr. Simpson ran into the boy's bathroom and all we heard was a "OH MY GOD!" He can back running out saying:
"SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE NOW!"
"What's wrong Mr. Simpson?" I asked.
"Eli committed suicide! NOW SOMEBODY CALL THE GOD DAMN POLICE!" He yelled out again.
The world stood still. What? No, it couldn't be Eli. Yea it couldn't be Eli.
Jake took out his cell phone and I guess he was calling 9-1-1. It couldn't be him…
I ran into the bathroom and Mr. Simpson was calling after me, but I ignored him. I stopped in my tracks when I saw blood splatters all over the walls and a lot of blood coming out from the third stall. I walked to the third stall and looking in it.
I almost threw up. All the blood every where.
It was Eli. I dropped down to my knees and started crying. Nope. This can't happening. I would never see his face again. His smirk, his everything. Why did he do this.
There was paper in his hands and it was cover in blood but I didn't care. I took the paper and started to read.
Dear Clare,
Are you finally happy? I'm gone like you wanted. Out of your life. Have fun with Jake. Just remember that there was somebody that really loved you in your relationships. You ripped my heart out, stomped on it, and threw it in the trash. But, just remember that this is all your fault. Your fault.
Eli Goldsworthy
I started crying a lot more. The paramedics came in the bathroom and said I had to leave. I didn't hesitate to get up and walk out the bathroom.
Jake saw me and ran to me. He hugged me even though I have blood all over me.
"I'm so sorry Clare!" Jake said rubbing my back.
I was sobbing in his chest more. Jake kept cooing me and whispering sweet nothings into my ear, and I didn't care. I hated myself.
The paramedics carried Eli's body on a gurney outside of Degrassi and Everybody was shocked.
"I didn't think he had it in him."
"Eli didn't deserve this."
"It's all Clare's fault."
The rumors are starting now. Eli was right.
This Is My Fault…
