Chapter 1 - Are you stupid?!

"Mello, something smells fishy here" I said, while doubting his every word. He was telling me some bed-time stories, like he can fly and read minds and stupid, childish stuff like that. How was I supposed to take him serious?

"Oh yeah? It might be your p()$$y!" It was typical for Mello to state unnecessary comments like that.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY MOTHERF()CKER?!" I yelled and jumped on him pulling his hair.

"OW! WHAT THE F()CK ACE?!" He started spanking me repeatedly.

"STOP! IT'S TOO HARD. IT HURTS! STOOOP!" I yelled in anguish, referring to his spankings.

"OH YEAH?! YOU OBVIOUSLY ASKED FOR IT!" Mello yelled back.

"YOU'RE SUCH A DUMBBUTT! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ARGUE AND FIGHT WITH ME! I HATE YOU! QUIT TOUCHING MY BUTT MELLO!" I continued shouting at him as he continued spanking me.

"Children, Children! What's going on in here? I could hear you all the way from my office, which is at the far other end of this building. It sounds like you're having sex in here, and we all know the strict rules in Wammy's house. Besides, why are you two not in class?" Roger walked in on us and started questioning us.

"She raped me Roger!" Mello lied. How was I, a girl going to rape him, a guy? It just didn't make sense. Considering I was much shorter than him and all.

"Mello?" Roger just stared at him in disbelief, trying not to laugh out loud at his statement.

"It's true Roger! I told her to stop, but she wouldn't. It hurt sooo bad Roger. I need to see a doctor as soon as possible, please." I tried sucking my cheeks in as hard as possible so I don't explode in an uncontrollable laughter. Mello took notice.

"And now look Roger! She's laughing at me. I really am hurting." Roger turned around to face me, and I tried as hard as possible to keep my straight face. Roger turned around to face Mello again and I took the opportunity to flick Mello off with both of my hands, just to piss blondy off even more. His eyes widened.

"OH YEAH?! YOU WANNA F()CK ME?! GO AHEAD ACE. COMMON! LET'S DO IT, RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!" Mello yelled and jumped on me which send us crashing into the bed.

"WHAT?! I DIDN'T SAY I WANTED TO! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU CRAZY F()CK?! IS THIS A JOKE?" I asked him as he smirked evilly at me.

"No!"

"Ugh! You douche! Stooop!"

"ACE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"MELLO! YOU'RE CHILDISH! GET OFF OF ME! MKAY?" I said and pushed him off of me with all my force. I tried running out of the room but he grabbed my ankle so I plummeted to the ground.

"You're not getting away this time MUAHHAHA" Wow, his evil laugh was impressive.

"YOU'RE SO STUPID AND ANNOYING!" I screamed at him and slapped him in the face really hard.

"OH NO YOU DI-IDN'T!" Mello held his hand up to his red cheek in disbelief.

"OH YES! I JUST DID!" And with that, I ran out the room towards the seeming never ending stairwell and slid down the handrail. This was much faster than taking the stairs. Mello was right behind me.

"I WILL CATCH YOU ACE!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU MORON!" As I was yelling, I didn't realize the staircase came to an end so I fell off the handrail and belly flopped right in front of Watari. My face touched his shoes and he cleared his throat. I stood up and whipped the dust off of me. Finally, Mello arrived elegantly.

"Oh hi! What's up guys? What a surprise to see you two here. I was just about to go to one of my classes." Mello lied, as always.

"You f()cking liar!" I yelled at him.

"I'm the f()cking liar?! Then what the f()ck are you, an angel?" Mello snapped back and grabbed me by my shirt. Watari cleared his throat again.

"Oh sorry, Watari! Ace is just not being nice to me today for no apparent reason. She hurts my feelings badly. Can you punish her?" Mello was acting all sweet now. Watari stared at the both of us and grabbed each of us by the ear and dragged us into his office.

"Ouch!" Mello and I said in unison as we held our ears which felt like they're on fire.

"Now, you two, short-tempered geniuses, what seems to be the problem here?" Watari asked us calmly.

"She stinks worse than $h!t!" Mello jumped up off his chair and pointed at me.

"And he's being a stupid b!tch Watari!" I remain in my seat.

"Oh! I'm the b!tch?" Mello asks. "I'M THE B!TCH?!" He raises his voice 4 octaves.

"Yes! You are the stupid, blonde b!tch!" I raise my voice too and face up to him.

"You're blonde too! What? You blind?" Mello asks.

"Yes! I wish I was! So I wouldn't have to see your fugly face, idiot!" I spit the words out. We totally forgot that Watari was still in front of us.

"You two, calm down, NOW!" When we heard Watari command that, we shut our faces up immediately and took a seat quietly. We were waiting for the long lecture we were about to face.

"Mello and Ace, you two are the only ones in this house that fight so much. Nobody, remotely, comes close to the amounts of fights you two have. The only way I find to stop this madness, is to punish both of you."

"BUT WATARIIIIII" Mello and I whine in unison.