What You Want, What You Get
Until now, it had been as much of an uphill battle that Will Schuester had ever expected. The skeptical remarks from his fellow coworkers upon his decision to take over the glee club weren't an issue. Navigating around Mr. Figgins was something of a hassle, but when all was said and done, Will could handle it. He'd even prepared himself to make do with the paltry list of original applicants because he - and sometimes Will felt he was all by himself in this - believed that every one of them had true talent.
They were a strong bunch, completely capable of melding together with the right kind and amount of encouragement. Tina came alive when she sang, a marked difference from how her shyness outside of practice kept her from speaking up. Mercedes was her opposite, trying to tear out of the gate at every chance; Will was using every opportunity to teach her how to harness her voice, to coax it so it could be every bit as all-encompassing as it was powerful.
Rachel had dreams bigger than Will had ever tempted himself with and he'd vowed to help her see them through. Arty sang with a sense of freedom that made you forget any possible handicap. In Kurt, Will saw the frustration and cynicism of every day life wisely channeled into a strength of voice.
They were his original five. They were amazing kids.
Finn came next, adding that last ingredient that made them New Directions. It would be a mistake to call him the glue that kept everyone together; Finn was no such thing. But somehow his presence had been that last push that made them a team. Will knew that it had happened in that uncertain period when he'd nearly left, and his biggest regret was that he hadn't been able to witness the transformation in person. But he was back now and staying put.
So then there were six. A strong team, but nonetheless a team that needed more members if they wanted to perform at regionals. But how were they to get more students?
They had to be tricky and, from what Will would learn later, Finn was willing to be exploited for the sake of the club. Will didn't want to know the specifics of what they did or how they did it; he'd decided early on that it was best to be oblivious when it came to certain things regarding his ambitious crew. The end result, though, was obvious.
New open auditions. A new list. Twenty-three applicants.
Twenty-three.
As student after student, none named Butt Lunch or Penis, made their way on the stage, Will found himself in awe of everything that was becoming possible. It grew like a bubble of hope in his chest before in one awful moment, coming on the seventh audition, it burst and spewed forth reality. Because, until now, Will had prepared himself to yes, yes, yes. Not no.
"You look like you're having a rough afternoon there."
Will pulled his eyes from the list in front of him to find Emma in his doorway. She stayed there until he shook the clouds he'd been camped in away from his head and invited her to sit. "I guess you could say that."
"I heard you had quite the turnout at lunch today. Really thought I'd find you in a better mood." Emma smoothed her skirt over her knees and then gave him one of her Let's Talk This Out, Shall We? faces.
Running his hands through his hair before saying anything back, Will shook his head. "It was phenomenal, Emma. There were kids there that… I had no idea they would ever bother with New Directions. Some of the voices were complete revelations, I still can't believe it."
"But there's a problem." Emma said simply.
Will laughed humorlessly. "Promise not to accuse me of looking the gift horse in the mouth?"
Emma only smiled.
"Can you believe that there were too many?" Will threw his hands in the air and leaned back in his seat. "Too many when a week ago I was trying to figure out how far we were going to get with five, maybe six members? It'd be funny if it wasn't making me face some difficult decisions."
"Well, to be fair, and no offense intended to some of the students," Emma said slowly, "but they can't have all been what you were looking for, right?"
Classic Emma, Will thought to himself, kindness and diplomacy through and through. He, however, had to get straight to the point. "Meaning some of them didn't have what it takes for glee? That's true, some were rather… hard to hear."
They traded a wry look, but then Will continued. "A lot more of them actually had good voices, or at least something that could be trained. And if this were the perfect situation, I'd be able to take them all on."
Emma shrugged. "So why don't you?"
"I've considered it, believe me," Will said with a sigh. "But this is the first year of New Directions and it would be a mistake to add more than we have to. I've got my core group and at this point I can only expand it to twelve in order to get all the harmonies and choreography sorted before regionals. So out of the twenty-three from today, I can only take six, and maybe two more as alternates."
"I see." Emma scooted her chair forward, coming closer to his desk. With a look, she asked permission to see his audition notes and he gave it just the same way. While she studied it, his office phone rang.
Picking it up, Will found his wife on the other side of the line. "Honey, hi! Did you call earlier?"
"Terri, hey, yeah." Will motioned for Emma to keep reading while he turned his seat. She was so engrossed that she only gave him a tight nod in response. "Sorry about the message, I was dealing with some pretty big decisions. Still am, actually."
"Oh, I haven't heard it, I just called back. What decisions?" She gasped. "Did you hear from H.W. Menken?"
"No," Will said slowly. Apparently she was choosing to have another one of her self-imposed memory lapses. "I redacted my application, remember?"
"Still, maybe they kept a copy of it on file. They do that, you know."
Will bit back a sigh. "No, I was calling to let you know about the auditions today. We had a really great turn out, but now I have to decide who gets in before school's over. That's when everyone's meeting again so I can let them know."
"Oh."
She was silent for a moment, such that Will heard something that sounded suspiciously like a department store intercom in the background. "Are you at work? I thought you had today off."
"Me? No, just… at home, watching some television." Terri gave him one of her little giggles. "Honey, I'm sure the kids will understand if you can't take them all. It's high school, they deal with rejection all the time."
Not from me, Will thought grimly. Still, "I suppose you're right."
"They'll understand, Will. It'll be fine. Anyway, I better go, my show's back on."
"Right. I'll see you tonight."
"Oh! Can you bring some Thai? I've been craving it all afternoon. Thanks, love you!"
"Love you, too," Will said back quietly, right before the line went dead. He closed his eyes and took a breath before turning his chair back around to face Emma. He found her with the notes on her lap and her gaze turned out to the window where a few students were walking in the hallway. "Emma?"
She seemed to snap out of a trance, even giving a little start of surprise. "Sorry, what?"
"You disappeared on me for a second," Will said with a grin.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly. Emma picked the paper back up again and laid it on the desk. "I must say, Will, it looks like you already know who you have to choose."
Turning the page so it was right side up for him, Emma pointed out several names. "These are the ones you remarked on the most, these two definitely caught your attention and this one, well, she's obviously not making the cut."
"How can you tell?"
"Just your little doodling in the margins." Emma smiled conspiratorially as she pointed them out. "It just made me think you were maybe bored during that one."
Embarrassed, Will chuckled. "I have to say, you're right about that."
"So choosing isn't the issue here, is it?" Tucking her hair behind her ears, Emma softened her voice. "You're worried about how you're going to make these kids feel when you turn some of them down."
Will simply stared back at her for a few seconds before saying, "You must be a fantastic guidance counselor."
Emma went pink. "I have my moments."
"Because that's exactly it. Exactly." Will looked up at the ceiling and then out at the hallway. The period was soon to be over, as well as his open office hours before returning to class. The sooner that came, so would the after-school meeting. "All this time it's been about these kids being who they want to be, embracing their talents, taking chances and now I'm about to just stomp all over some of them? That's hardly fair."
"You are not going to stomp on anything," Emma said reasonably. "These students know you care about them, you wouldn't have started New Directions otherwise. Maybe some will be upset, even hurt, but you're in a position to help them understand your decisions. This is one audition, Will. Not everyone is meant for glee, just as they aren't all meant to be Cheerios."
"Thank God," Will replied, eyebrows high. They both smiled again.
"So you have to turn some of them down, but it can be done well," Emma stood up from her seat, "Really, it's all about the delivery and sincerity behind it. The rest will sort itself out, it always does, but you already know that."
"I do."
Emma gave him a lingering look before stepping back toward the door. "Everyone around here knows you try your best, Will. I know the students won't hold it against you if the answer you give isn't the one they want to hear."
Will gazed levelly at her before nodding. "Thanks, Emma."
"Anytime."
He stared at the doorway for a little while after she'd left, thinking. And then, with resolve, Will turned his eyes back to the list and started crossing off names.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review, as they are all the payment we fanfiction writers get.
