I don't own Criminal Minds; I do, however, own a huge plastic container of nail polish in many, many colors, and my nails are currently done up in "I Think You Call Me… Sexy" and "All of Time and Space" from NerdLacquer. So, yeah.

Yes, I'm putting out a string of nonsense one-shots because I'm relaxing from the insanity of my day job. Sorry for the inconvenience. :D


Hail to the Nails
by Scintillating Tart


"I've got a drawer full of nail polish and no idea what colors to use," Penelope sighed down the phone line as she dug through the drawer.

"Baby Girl, is choosing nail polish really worth losing sleep over?" Derek inquired.

"YES – I can't just go to work with bare nails, handsome, and you know it. Everyone expects me to be colorful. I can't disappoint them."

He sighed down the line. "How about plain, normal red? Or mauve?"

"Derek Morgan, do you honestly think for one second that I'd have mauve in my collection?" she demanded. "Well, neon chartreuse it is!"