Now and Forever

Post-Tabula Rasa

Buffy stared out of the car's side window, not meeting her former Watcher's eyes as they drove in silence. The Scoobies were piled into the backseat, none speaking. Giles was going to drop them off at Buffy's place, and then—and then—

The airport, and then England.

Buffy couldn't stand it. It was all in chaos. Everything was going mental. Willow and Tara were sitting as far away from each other as the cramp backseat would allow; they had fallen out big-time, and Buffy's heart broke just thinking about it. They had shown such promise, they had been happy, and now it was all gone.

And Giles was leaving. Buffy still couldn't begin to fathom his reasoning for his departure, but when she tried to work herself up into a rage over it, she found she just couldn't. She wasn't angry with him, she realised suddenly as she watched the houses and trees speed by. She wasn't angry with Giles. Never that. She was angry with the world, but it just seemed so much easier to pretend that it was all about him.

"Here we are." Giles's voice was tired and soft as he pulled up to the curb. The Scoobies in the backseat slowly streamed out of his car—he took no notice of them. They weren't the ones furious at him; they would see him off at the airport. Buffy was the one who he might never see again.

Buffy paused, and then opened the car door with a vehemence that made Giles wince. "Buffy—I'm sorry—I—"

"Save it," she snapped harshly, and Giles recoiled as though she had slapped him. Buffy, his Slayer, his Slayer, jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind her, not looking back.

A bitter taste flooded his mouth and he hardened his heart. Rupert Giles floored the accelerator and sped off, resisting the temptation to look back at his previous life, at the ones he loved so much it was like a physical pain in his chest. So be it. A clean break, then.

His attention was focused fiercely on the road ahead. He didn't see Buffy, meters behind him, turn around suddenly in the hope that he would still be lingering by the road so that she could shelve her pride and return the goodbye before it was too late and her Watcher was lost to her forever. He didn't see the despair that flashed over her face as she saw his car already zipping off, becoming smaller and smaller in the distance.

He didn't hear a quavering, forlorn, "Giles." as his car receded from Buffy's line of sight. Now and forever.