Authors Note: As I was writing my chapter for my other story I thought of a whole other story so please READ!


Growing up wasn't like most childhoods with a happy family, caring, and loving parents. My childhood I felt unwanted, scared, alone and unloved.

When I turned 15 my parents got into a car accident and didn't survive. My brother Johnathon 19 at the time got custody of me. A family friend ended up helping my brother out with taking care of me since he wanted to attend college.

My last year of college I met a man who showed me what love is, he treated me like a queen and I was so in love with him. Caleb was more than I expected.

It has been 2 years since I first met Caleb, 6 months ago he proposed to me and of course I said yes, I mean come on I was in love with him, my whole being revolved around him, he was my everything.

Caleb was caring, sweet, kind. I used to get surprise dinners or random dates out of nowhere which I thought was pretty sweet, he also showered me in gifts he made me feel special until all that changed.

Since we been engaged he turned into a man that I never wanted to see or be with. 4 months after I agreed to marry him he became violent saying I belonged to him and he will kill me or kill anyone that tries to take me from him.

At some point my brother figured something was going on because a month ago he walked in on me cleaning a gash on my arm it looked bad.

I told him it was all my fault that I fell on some glass when I went to pick up a drink I spilled, I slipped on it and the glass went into my arm. Johnathon wasn't convinced but he let it go.

Once Caleb found out that my brother thought something was going on he packed us up and moved us to a small town where he knew a few people.

I on the other hand don't know anyone. I feel trapped like I am a prisoner, I am not allowed to work, I can only leave if I am going grocery shopping or if I am with him.

Caleb talked me into staying home so he can take care of everything he wants me to be a house wife and do as I am told.

Little did I know it was a way to control me but at the time I didn't see it that way, I saw a man wanting to take care of his girl.

There was a time that I wanted to be independent and provide for myself, Show the world what I am made of, but I do as he says for fear of angering him and making it worse.

Today is a different story, right now I am in our (his) bathroom thinking about how I am going to cover up these bruises, the black eye, and how to bring the swelling down but I feel I am better off.

About 2 weeks ago I wasn't feeling to well, so I decided to get a pregnancy test while I was grocery shopping. indeed, I was pregnant.

I told Caleb thinking he would be thrilled we would be having a baby, but I was wrong he wasn't too happy.

Caleb beat me for being pregnant, the beating was so bad that I miscarried. I felt so empty and numb

I still feel empty, and numb but I also feel unworthy of love, I have no purpose Caleb finds anyway to down grade me or make me feel worthless and I believe him.

I wanted to have my own art gallery after I graduated college, but Caleb said I can't build a life with art, that my art is useless no one will ever waste their money on my art.

As I look at myself in the mirror I don't see who I use to be I see a girl with dull red hair, and empty green eyes.

I can honestly say that I have given up completely I am not that happy person I use to be when my brother was the one raising me or the carefree girl in college.

I open the cabinet and take out what I am looking for and close it back and give myself one more look over.

As I look at myself with determination I hope I don't see this girl no more, the girl who allowed it to get this bad, the girl who believed every word or insult that was said to her.

As I remove the cap off the small bottle in my hand I start thinking about what our life would have been like before he changed. A house, a dog, children.

I realize as I pour myself a large glass of water that what I vision our future to be like will never happen because of the swollen face, bruises, the loss of our baby is proof enough that there is no such thing as happy ever after.

I pour the contents from the small bottle in my hand and I take a hand full placing it in my mouth and wash it down with the glass of water.

The glass of water slips through my fingers and makes a loud crash once it hits the floor and breaks. I start to feel a little dizzy.

I can hear Caleb banging on the bathroom door saying he is sorry, he just wants to help me, he didn't mean it, but he always says that.

He must have heard the glass break because he sounds more frantic. Caleb's voice sounds so far away even though he is right at the door. I am starting to feel sleepy and I don't think I can hold myself up much longer.

I go toward the door, so I can sit against it, but I slip and bang my head on the corner of the sink. I am starting to see red and my vision is unfocused.

I don't want to feel, I don't want to think I just want to sleep if possible and hopefully the amount of sleeping pills I took will help me do just that.

As I think of all the hurt and pain I went through since I was young, and I realize I feel no regret for my decision I feel nothing.

So, as I feel the darkness consuming me which makes me smile because I know I won't ever have to feel the hurt, the pain, or any other way again.

I Clarissa Fray was too weak to fight and even though I choose to end the fight at least I got to leave on my own time . . . . . ..


Authors Note: Please tell me what you all think and if I should continue this story.

if you didn't check out my other story please do.

any ideas to what might happen if I continue please let me know what you think will occur next XOXOXOXO.

~UNBOTHERED