What I Want
Summary: Buffy finds out that she is really sick. Her mom doesn't take it very well and Buffy can't stand to see her mom hurting so she decides to run away. She ends up in France wanting to finish her days there when she runs into an unlikely friend.
A/N: This is my first actual fanfic that's made it to another computer and anyone else has got to read. So let me know how I did.
Disclaimer As much as I wish I owned Spike I don't. Joss does.
Chapter 1: Results
"Buffy would you stop fidgeting." Joyce asked her daughter as they sat waiting for the doctor to come back with Buffy's test results. "Sorry, I just hate doctor's offices and you know that." Buffy said placing her hands on the table. "I know sweetie but we need to find out what's wrong with you. You shouldn't be throwing up everything you eat." Joyce said taking her daughter's hand. "It's not everything I eat. I ate last night and again this morning and didn't throw up." Buffy said trying to make it sound better then it was. "I know sweetie but I still think it was a good idea to bring you to the doctors." Joyce said moving her hands from Buffy's to her lap. Buffy was just about to say something when the doctor walked in.
"Mrs. Summers, Buffy we have the test results back and." The doctor paused taking a seat in front of Buffy and Joyce. "What is it doctor Wolf?" Joyce asked looking at him and she knew it was something bad. "Buffy has to put it in not so medical terms stomach cancer." Doctor Wolf stopped to let the news sink in. Buffy just sat there as if he had said that she just had an upset stomach, but Joyce on the other hand was trying not to brake down in the doctor's office. "Is there anything we can do?" Joyce pleaded with the doctor to tell her that there was some type of cure. "Unfortunately Mrs. Summers there's not. Chemotherapy would only make her more sick and I honestly don't think it would work anyway." Doctor Wolf finished and Joyce broke down. "How much longer do I have?" Buffy asked the doctor with still no expression on her face. "A year if you're lucky." The doctor said then got up to leave. "Oh god no!" Joyce cried and Buffy just sat there holding her. "I am truly sorry." Doctor Wolf said turning around to face Joyce and Buffy one more time, then left.
"Come on mom let's go." Buffy said letting go of Joyce and standing up to leave. Joyce just nodded in agreement and followed Buffy out. They stopped at the counter to see if there was anything else they needed to do then left. Buffy ignored the looks she got from the nurses. They rode all the way home in silence. As soon as they got home Buffy ran upstairs and Joyce just sank on the couch and started to cry again.
As soon as Buffy was in her room she picked up the phone to call her best friend Willow. "Hey Wills." Buffy said sinking down onto her bed. "Hey Buffy. How did the doctor's appointment go? Do they know what's wrong?" Willow asked concerned about her best friends health. "Yeah Will they told me what's wrong." Buffy paused trying to control her voice. "Willow I have cancer." Buffy finished and just sank back against her pillow. Willow and Buffy were silent for a long time just letting the news sink in. "Willow you still there?" Buffy asked breaking the silence. "Yeah I'm still here. Oh goddess Buffy." Willow said trying to contain herself. "Yeah I know. Hey Will?" Buffy asked getting up and packing some of her clothes and all the money she had saved up. "Yeah Buffy." Willow said after a minute. "Can I come stay a night or two at your place? My mom needs time to let this sink in." Buffy said grabbing the last of her stuff she wanted to take with her. "Sure of course Buffy." Willow said trying to hold back tears. "Ok well then I'll see you in a little while. Oh and could you call Xander. I want to hang out just the old gang." Buffy said walking over to her bed and picked up the picture of her and her mom and put it in her backpack. "Ok Buffy I'll see you in a little while." Willow said and hung up the phone. Buffy hung up the phone and went to head downstairs when she heard her mom talking to Giles.
Buffy left her stuff in the hallway and went into the kitchen to say goodbye to her mom and Giles. "Hey mom I'm going over to Willow's for a few days, but I'll call and check in ok." Buffy said going up to Joyce. "Um ok Buffy." Joyce said and gave Buffy a hug. Buffy held it for a while then let go and kissed her mother before turning to Giles. "I'll see you later." Buffy said giving Giles a hug then left.
Xander was already at Willow's by the time Buffy got there, and Willow had filled him in on the whole situation. Buffy was met with hugs from both of her friends. "Hey guys." Buffy said when they came out of the group hug. The gang spent the rest of the night watching movies and chatting like old times. They all fell asleep in the living room.
Chapter 2: Decisions
Buffy awoke first. It was about six in the morning and she had a plane to catch in about an hour. So Buffy got up and left her friends a little note and left with a tear in her eye. Willow awoke about five minutes after Buffy had left to find her gone. She woke Xander up and they looked everywhere for her. Willow went to check out side and when she came in she found the note and read it. With tears streaming down her face she handed the note to Xander and sank into a chair.
Dear Willow and Xander I've gone. I don't want you guys to worry about me. I'll be fine. I love you all and will call when I get to where I'm going. Will you guys tell my mom and Giles that I love them and not to worry about me. I'll miss you guys.
Love always
Buffy Xander read aloud and sank into a chair next to Willow. They sat there in silence for a long time. "I should have known something was up she brought so much clothes with her yesterday. I wonder where she went." Willow said breaking the silence "I don't know Wills. Maybe we should go tell Joyce now." Xander said getting up. Willow nodded in agreement and followed out with letter in hand.
"Hey Willow, Xander where's Buffy?" Joyce asked when she opened the door and saw the two of them standing there without her daughter. "Can we come in?" Willow asked shyly. "Of course you can." Joyce said moving away from the door to let them in then led them to the living room. "What's up you two?" Joyce asked know that something wasn't right. Willow just handed Joyce the note. As Joyce read it her eyes weld up with tears and by the end of it she was crying. Willow hugged Joyce and cried with her.
Chapter 3: Arrival
"Passengers please fasten your seatbelts we will be landing shortly." The captain said and Buffy fastened her seatbelt. 'Well I always wanted to go to France.' Buffy thought to herself as the plane landed. Buffy got off the plane, grabbed her luggage and then left the airport. She had made reservations at a hotel that accepted American money. Buffy's hotel was about a half an hour away from the airport. The hotel wasn't the nicest place in the world but it would work for now. Buffy looked at her watch, which was still on Sunnydale time, and saw that it was only four o'clock so she decided to call Willow.
"Hey Will." Buffy said when Willow answered the phone. "Buffy!" Willow practically screamed." "I was so worried about you. Why didn't you tell me? I would've gone with you. You shouldn't be alone." Willow rambled out. "Willow, Willow, Willow calm down. I'm sorry I didn't tell you and yeah maybe it would've been nice to have you come with me. But you have school and a life to live and since I don't have either really I figured I would go." Buffy said sitting down on the bed in her room. "But you still should have let me go." Willow said disappointedly. "I know. Hey Wills I have to go, but I'll call you soon. Let my mom know that I'm ok. I love you Willow." Buffy said then hung up.
"Well I'm starved and I doubt this place has room service. I guess I'll go and try to find some food." Buffy said aloud to no one then got up and walked out of her room. It was a little after midnight and Pairs was still buzzing. Buffy closed and locked and started down the hallway when she heard a familiar voice. "Well, well look what we've got here." The familiar voice said and Buffy let out a sigh. "And this day just keeps getting better." Buffy mumbled to herself then turned around slowly to face the voice. "'Ello cutie." He said with a smirk. "Spike what the hell are you doing here? Never mind I don't want to know." Buffy said turning back around and started to walk away when Spike grabbed her arm. Buffy turned to face him. "Spike I'm not in the mood. I'm tired and hungry and have to find a place to exchange my money. Buffy said but didn't make Spike let go of her arm. "Are you ok Slayer?" Spike asked finally letting go of her arm. "I'm fine Spike and don't call me that." Buffy said turning away from him and walking away. Spike just looked at her for a moment then followed her.
"What happened to you?" Spike asked when he finally caught up to her. "Nothing Spike." Buffy said and kept walking. Spike stopped her again, turning her to face him. "Not even four months ago you wouldn't even let me get this close to you, and now you don't care. What happened to you Slayer?" Spike asked and Buffy just looked at him. "A lot can happen in four months Spike." Buffy said then turned and walked away. Spike followed her. Buffy found an all night diner and went in while Spike just stood and watched her from outside.
Chapter 4: Unlikely Friends
'I know I'm going to regret this, but what do I have to lose.' Buffy thought and went to where Spike was. "Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come in and sit with me?" Buffy asked not waiting for an answer turned around and went back to her table knowing that he would follow.
"So Spike what brings you to Paris?" Buffy asked once he sat down across from her. "I don't know. I've always loved Paris." Spike said trying to figure out what Buffy was up to. "Oh yeah well me too." Buffy said trying to figure out why Spike hadn't attacked her yet. "Why did you come here luv?" Spike asked staring at her. 'Maybe she is a looker when she's not being a total bitch.' Spike thought to himself. "To get away." Buffy said staring back at Spike. 'Wow look at those eyes ad that body. He's hot!' Buffy said and locked eyes with Spike and held it for a long time. They only broke away when the waitress came to get their orders. Buffy ordered a small hamburger and drink and Spike ordered a stake and milkshake. "I thought you said you were starving." Spike said locking eyes with her again. "I am but it doesn't matter cause a) I have to save my money until I can get a job here and b) I'll probably just throw it up anyway." Buffy said whispering the last part and looked away, but Spike heard her anyway. "Why would you do that?" Spike asked now confused on what was going on. Buffy just looked down and fidgeted with her napkin. "Buffy look at me." Spike said putting a hand under her chin to lift her head to look at him. "Because." Is all that Buffy said. "Because why?" Spike pushed. "Because I'm sick. Are you happy now Spike? You wanted to know why I'm here. It's because I'm dying and I wanted to see Paris before I died." Buffy said almost screaming then got up and ran all the way back to the hotel room. Spike was right behind her the whole way there and stopped her before she could go inside. Tears were streaming down her face and Spike felt so guilty. 'Why do I feel like this? She's my enemy the reason Dru left me.' Spike thought to himself.
Buffy tried to open the door but couldn't get it so she just slumped down to the floor in a ball crying. Spike tried to soothe her by rubbing her back. 'Why am I letting him touch me? And why does this feel so right.' Buffy asked her but pushed the thoughts out of her mind and leaned into Spike's embrace. They just sat there for a while until Spike pulled away. Buffy just looked up at him. "I'd love to stay pet but if I don't find shelter I'll be a pile of dust." Spike said just watching her. Then he turned and walked off. "Spike." Buffy called after him. 'What the hell am I doing?' Buffy asked herself as Spike turned back around to face her. "Yeah." Spike said and Buffy took a deep breath. "You can stay here if you want." Buffy said turning away. 'Why is she doing this.' Spike thought to himself. "Are you sure?" Spike asked and Buffy looked back up at him. "Yeah if you want to that is." Buffy said and Spike nodded. "Sure pet I'll stay." Spike said walking back over to Buffy and helped her to her feet. He pulled her right into him. When she didn't move away Spike dipped his head and kissed Buffy. Without breaking the kiss Buffy opened the door and they stumbled into the room.
Summary: Buffy finds out that she is really sick. Her mom doesn't take it very well and Buffy can't stand to see her mom hurting so she decides to run away. She ends up in France wanting to finish her days there when she runs into an unlikely friend.
A/N: This is my first actual fanfic that's made it to another computer and anyone else has got to read. So let me know how I did.
Disclaimer As much as I wish I owned Spike I don't. Joss does.
Chapter 1: Results
"Buffy would you stop fidgeting." Joyce asked her daughter as they sat waiting for the doctor to come back with Buffy's test results. "Sorry, I just hate doctor's offices and you know that." Buffy said placing her hands on the table. "I know sweetie but we need to find out what's wrong with you. You shouldn't be throwing up everything you eat." Joyce said taking her daughter's hand. "It's not everything I eat. I ate last night and again this morning and didn't throw up." Buffy said trying to make it sound better then it was. "I know sweetie but I still think it was a good idea to bring you to the doctors." Joyce said moving her hands from Buffy's to her lap. Buffy was just about to say something when the doctor walked in.
"Mrs. Summers, Buffy we have the test results back and." The doctor paused taking a seat in front of Buffy and Joyce. "What is it doctor Wolf?" Joyce asked looking at him and she knew it was something bad. "Buffy has to put it in not so medical terms stomach cancer." Doctor Wolf stopped to let the news sink in. Buffy just sat there as if he had said that she just had an upset stomach, but Joyce on the other hand was trying not to brake down in the doctor's office. "Is there anything we can do?" Joyce pleaded with the doctor to tell her that there was some type of cure. "Unfortunately Mrs. Summers there's not. Chemotherapy would only make her more sick and I honestly don't think it would work anyway." Doctor Wolf finished and Joyce broke down. "How much longer do I have?" Buffy asked the doctor with still no expression on her face. "A year if you're lucky." The doctor said then got up to leave. "Oh god no!" Joyce cried and Buffy just sat there holding her. "I am truly sorry." Doctor Wolf said turning around to face Joyce and Buffy one more time, then left.
"Come on mom let's go." Buffy said letting go of Joyce and standing up to leave. Joyce just nodded in agreement and followed Buffy out. They stopped at the counter to see if there was anything else they needed to do then left. Buffy ignored the looks she got from the nurses. They rode all the way home in silence. As soon as they got home Buffy ran upstairs and Joyce just sank on the couch and started to cry again.
As soon as Buffy was in her room she picked up the phone to call her best friend Willow. "Hey Wills." Buffy said sinking down onto her bed. "Hey Buffy. How did the doctor's appointment go? Do they know what's wrong?" Willow asked concerned about her best friends health. "Yeah Will they told me what's wrong." Buffy paused trying to control her voice. "Willow I have cancer." Buffy finished and just sank back against her pillow. Willow and Buffy were silent for a long time just letting the news sink in. "Willow you still there?" Buffy asked breaking the silence. "Yeah I'm still here. Oh goddess Buffy." Willow said trying to contain herself. "Yeah I know. Hey Will?" Buffy asked getting up and packing some of her clothes and all the money she had saved up. "Yeah Buffy." Willow said after a minute. "Can I come stay a night or two at your place? My mom needs time to let this sink in." Buffy said grabbing the last of her stuff she wanted to take with her. "Sure of course Buffy." Willow said trying to hold back tears. "Ok well then I'll see you in a little while. Oh and could you call Xander. I want to hang out just the old gang." Buffy said walking over to her bed and picked up the picture of her and her mom and put it in her backpack. "Ok Buffy I'll see you in a little while." Willow said and hung up the phone. Buffy hung up the phone and went to head downstairs when she heard her mom talking to Giles.
Buffy left her stuff in the hallway and went into the kitchen to say goodbye to her mom and Giles. "Hey mom I'm going over to Willow's for a few days, but I'll call and check in ok." Buffy said going up to Joyce. "Um ok Buffy." Joyce said and gave Buffy a hug. Buffy held it for a while then let go and kissed her mother before turning to Giles. "I'll see you later." Buffy said giving Giles a hug then left.
Xander was already at Willow's by the time Buffy got there, and Willow had filled him in on the whole situation. Buffy was met with hugs from both of her friends. "Hey guys." Buffy said when they came out of the group hug. The gang spent the rest of the night watching movies and chatting like old times. They all fell asleep in the living room.
Chapter 2: Decisions
Buffy awoke first. It was about six in the morning and she had a plane to catch in about an hour. So Buffy got up and left her friends a little note and left with a tear in her eye. Willow awoke about five minutes after Buffy had left to find her gone. She woke Xander up and they looked everywhere for her. Willow went to check out side and when she came in she found the note and read it. With tears streaming down her face she handed the note to Xander and sank into a chair.
Dear Willow and Xander I've gone. I don't want you guys to worry about me. I'll be fine. I love you all and will call when I get to where I'm going. Will you guys tell my mom and Giles that I love them and not to worry about me. I'll miss you guys.
Love always
Buffy Xander read aloud and sank into a chair next to Willow. They sat there in silence for a long time. "I should have known something was up she brought so much clothes with her yesterday. I wonder where she went." Willow said breaking the silence "I don't know Wills. Maybe we should go tell Joyce now." Xander said getting up. Willow nodded in agreement and followed out with letter in hand.
"Hey Willow, Xander where's Buffy?" Joyce asked when she opened the door and saw the two of them standing there without her daughter. "Can we come in?" Willow asked shyly. "Of course you can." Joyce said moving away from the door to let them in then led them to the living room. "What's up you two?" Joyce asked know that something wasn't right. Willow just handed Joyce the note. As Joyce read it her eyes weld up with tears and by the end of it she was crying. Willow hugged Joyce and cried with her.
Chapter 3: Arrival
"Passengers please fasten your seatbelts we will be landing shortly." The captain said and Buffy fastened her seatbelt. 'Well I always wanted to go to France.' Buffy thought to herself as the plane landed. Buffy got off the plane, grabbed her luggage and then left the airport. She had made reservations at a hotel that accepted American money. Buffy's hotel was about a half an hour away from the airport. The hotel wasn't the nicest place in the world but it would work for now. Buffy looked at her watch, which was still on Sunnydale time, and saw that it was only four o'clock so she decided to call Willow.
"Hey Will." Buffy said when Willow answered the phone. "Buffy!" Willow practically screamed." "I was so worried about you. Why didn't you tell me? I would've gone with you. You shouldn't be alone." Willow rambled out. "Willow, Willow, Willow calm down. I'm sorry I didn't tell you and yeah maybe it would've been nice to have you come with me. But you have school and a life to live and since I don't have either really I figured I would go." Buffy said sitting down on the bed in her room. "But you still should have let me go." Willow said disappointedly. "I know. Hey Wills I have to go, but I'll call you soon. Let my mom know that I'm ok. I love you Willow." Buffy said then hung up.
"Well I'm starved and I doubt this place has room service. I guess I'll go and try to find some food." Buffy said aloud to no one then got up and walked out of her room. It was a little after midnight and Pairs was still buzzing. Buffy closed and locked and started down the hallway when she heard a familiar voice. "Well, well look what we've got here." The familiar voice said and Buffy let out a sigh. "And this day just keeps getting better." Buffy mumbled to herself then turned around slowly to face the voice. "'Ello cutie." He said with a smirk. "Spike what the hell are you doing here? Never mind I don't want to know." Buffy said turning back around and started to walk away when Spike grabbed her arm. Buffy turned to face him. "Spike I'm not in the mood. I'm tired and hungry and have to find a place to exchange my money. Buffy said but didn't make Spike let go of her arm. "Are you ok Slayer?" Spike asked finally letting go of her arm. "I'm fine Spike and don't call me that." Buffy said turning away from him and walking away. Spike just looked at her for a moment then followed her.
"What happened to you?" Spike asked when he finally caught up to her. "Nothing Spike." Buffy said and kept walking. Spike stopped her again, turning her to face him. "Not even four months ago you wouldn't even let me get this close to you, and now you don't care. What happened to you Slayer?" Spike asked and Buffy just looked at him. "A lot can happen in four months Spike." Buffy said then turned and walked away. Spike followed her. Buffy found an all night diner and went in while Spike just stood and watched her from outside.
Chapter 4: Unlikely Friends
'I know I'm going to regret this, but what do I have to lose.' Buffy thought and went to where Spike was. "Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come in and sit with me?" Buffy asked not waiting for an answer turned around and went back to her table knowing that he would follow.
"So Spike what brings you to Paris?" Buffy asked once he sat down across from her. "I don't know. I've always loved Paris." Spike said trying to figure out what Buffy was up to. "Oh yeah well me too." Buffy said trying to figure out why Spike hadn't attacked her yet. "Why did you come here luv?" Spike asked staring at her. 'Maybe she is a looker when she's not being a total bitch.' Spike thought to himself. "To get away." Buffy said staring back at Spike. 'Wow look at those eyes ad that body. He's hot!' Buffy said and locked eyes with Spike and held it for a long time. They only broke away when the waitress came to get their orders. Buffy ordered a small hamburger and drink and Spike ordered a stake and milkshake. "I thought you said you were starving." Spike said locking eyes with her again. "I am but it doesn't matter cause a) I have to save my money until I can get a job here and b) I'll probably just throw it up anyway." Buffy said whispering the last part and looked away, but Spike heard her anyway. "Why would you do that?" Spike asked now confused on what was going on. Buffy just looked down and fidgeted with her napkin. "Buffy look at me." Spike said putting a hand under her chin to lift her head to look at him. "Because." Is all that Buffy said. "Because why?" Spike pushed. "Because I'm sick. Are you happy now Spike? You wanted to know why I'm here. It's because I'm dying and I wanted to see Paris before I died." Buffy said almost screaming then got up and ran all the way back to the hotel room. Spike was right behind her the whole way there and stopped her before she could go inside. Tears were streaming down her face and Spike felt so guilty. 'Why do I feel like this? She's my enemy the reason Dru left me.' Spike thought to himself.
Buffy tried to open the door but couldn't get it so she just slumped down to the floor in a ball crying. Spike tried to soothe her by rubbing her back. 'Why am I letting him touch me? And why does this feel so right.' Buffy asked her but pushed the thoughts out of her mind and leaned into Spike's embrace. They just sat there for a while until Spike pulled away. Buffy just looked up at him. "I'd love to stay pet but if I don't find shelter I'll be a pile of dust." Spike said just watching her. Then he turned and walked off. "Spike." Buffy called after him. 'What the hell am I doing?' Buffy asked herself as Spike turned back around to face her. "Yeah." Spike said and Buffy took a deep breath. "You can stay here if you want." Buffy said turning away. 'Why is she doing this.' Spike thought to himself. "Are you sure?" Spike asked and Buffy looked back up at him. "Yeah if you want to that is." Buffy said and Spike nodded. "Sure pet I'll stay." Spike said walking back over to Buffy and helped her to her feet. He pulled her right into him. When she didn't move away Spike dipped his head and kissed Buffy. Without breaking the kiss Buffy opened the door and they stumbled into the room.
